One of the most entertaining men in the NFL is DeAngelo Hall, or as many NFL writers and bloggers have come to call him MeAngelo, because of his legendary ego. Hall recently made an appearance on Washington D.C.’s 106.7 The Fan to talk about the lockout, Jay Cutler and, most interestingly, Jason Kidd’s son’s head.
Hall, who recently stayed in a cabana next to Kidd’s ex-wife and son in a casino was amazed the size of the kid’s head.
“That’s how we knew who it was. And I’m like, I’m telling my cousin that couldn’t be him because the kid was 5’10″ and….I’m like that kid couldn’t have grown into that, because I remember her holding him at the game. But he’s 12 years old and he’s 5’10″– the dude is taller than me — but the head is still there.”
Most people would vote against giving a teenager a complex about his looks on a major metro radio station but not me. Of course I’m a big fan of the dad from ‘So I Married An Axe Murderer.’
Odds are J Kidd’s son may get his head rubbed a bit more often after that story but it won’t be the kind of head rub MLB legend Lenny Dykstra was looking for recently when he interviewed potential housekeepers.
The former slugger got himself into a pinch when he told a 47-year-old woman who had responded to an ad to be Dykstra’s housekeeper that she also had to give him massages as part of her duties. Then he stripped naked. That’s where the interview ended. She saw his two balls and gave him three strikes.
Dykstra may have been just going for a really good goof with that interview so he probably needs to learn how to hone his comedic skills, like former New England Patriot QB Scott Zolak, who according to Drew Bledsoe was coming up with cutting edge penis jokes way before Justin Timberlake.
Bledsoe told a Boston radio station last week that Zolak invented the dick in a box act while with the Patriots when he used to walk around the locker room with a donut box offering a large cream filled to anyone who dared to try one.
“You know that Saturday Night Live skit with Justin Timberlake from a couple years ago where the guys put their junk in a box or whatever?” Bledsoe asked. “Well, let’s just say that wasn’t an original idea. (Zolak) used to walk around the locker room with a donut box and offer guys donuts and when they opened the box he’d have a little surprise for them.”
In all fairness the dick in a box gag is really just a variation of the penis in the popcorn gag at the movies. Gag pun not intended.
Finally we come to the case of Laker rookie Derek Caracter, who became the second most hated Laker Monday after a report that he pushed a pregnant waitress at IHOP Saturday night in New Orleans.
The official N.O. police report states:
“Caracter, a 6-foot-9 forward who was in New Orleans for the playoffs series, was drunk and acting disorderly inside the restaurant, police said.
He "started grabbing and pulling" a pregnant waitress, prompting the manager to go outside and flag down a police officer, Harper said. The female officer tried to defuse the situation, Harper said, but Caracter remained obstinate. The officer arrested him.”
Honestly, I can’t even defend a Laker who assaults a pregnant woman but much like the kid who fooled her high school mates the New Orleans police had it wrong and the waitress was not pregnant. So no harm, no foul right? Pancake waitresses aren’t real people…unless they’re nailing Tiger Woods.
Just kidding about that last part. The Lakers should probably cut that guy tomorrow. But Derrick Caracter may not be any worse than Chris Paul. He'd certainly push an IHOP waitres, pregnant or not...if she got in his way on the court. He'd even hit his own mama.
No comments:
Post a Comment