Man's Best Friend (With Benefits)

Anyone who makes a habit of reading this blog (and I thank the four of you who do) probably knows that one thing I hate is dog worship. Too often I have to see some yahoo with their mutt in tow barking at me from inside a car or getting in my way at a walking trail (where too often those damn things aren’t leashed).

This story only serves to escalate my hatred for “dog people.” A recent Leger Marketing survey (whatever the Hell that is) found that more than half of small dog owners they surveyed value their dog more than their friends. Other findings from the survey are detailed here in this QMI Agency story:

“The survey also found 78% include their dog in everyday tasks, like running errands or meeting with their not-as-important friends. When it comes to vacation, 53% said they plan their getaways around places they can bring their pets, and consider airlines that allow their dogs to travel in a carrier on board a flight.

And if you don't get along with your partner's little dog, you'd better change your mind because nearly half of respondents -- 48% -- said they would break up with a potential mate if the person and dog didn't get along. Another 40% said they would avoid inviting friends and family over if they didn't like Fido.”

In the interest of full disclosure I should state that I didn’t grow up around dogs. My family always had cats but I’m far from a cat person. I guess I’m a person person or more likely I’m an inanimate object person because I prefer the TV to talking to people I don’t already know (at this point in life I have enough friends).

But the idea that some people value the relationship with a somewhat brainless creature more than their friends speaks to how fragile we all are. We’ve now grown up in the self-esteem culture and any human contact might expose us to the fact that we’re not as awesome as we think. But your canine definitely won’t bust your bubble, just as long as you fill the bowl and buy him a bunch of crappy toys for Christmas. I personally wouldn’t want the emotional comfort of an animal. True artists should be lonely and tortured, not trying to type with a terrier with a sweater on in their lap.