Hard Water

Man's sperm found in co-worker's water bottle
By QMI Agency

A California man was sentenced Friday after twice putting his semen into the water bottle of a female co-worker.

Michael Kevin Lallana, 32, was ordered to register as a sex offender for life and sentenced to six months in jail as he was found to have received sexual gratification from the acts.

On Jan. 14, 2010, Lallana deposited semen into the unidentified woman's water bottle at Northwestern Mutual Financial Network in Newport Beach, Calif., according to a press release from the Orange County District Attorney.

The woman then unknowingly drank the water, but threw it away after she realized the beverage was contaminated.

Again, on April 6, 2010, Lallana committed the same act. The woman was suspicious of the taste in the water, and sent it to a private laboratory to be tested.

Lab tests confirmed it contained semen. Police investigated, and charged Lallana.

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I guess what troubles me most about this story is that the guy did it twice. I’m not surprised that he would pull a stunt like that multiple times. I mean, there’s a guy in South Carolina who banged the same horse twice. But how was he allowed the opportunity to do it again? If you ask me every business should have a strict one strike and you’re out rule about ejaculating in their coworkers’ water bottles and drinking cups.

I know people deserve a second chance in life but I think you’ve got to side with caution when it comes to semen in water bottles.

Upon reading the story twice I guess the first woman didn’t know she drank semen but she obviously had her suspicions and police wouldn’t have gravitated toward Lallana if people in the office didn’t think something was up with him. I bet now everybody in that place is questioning what they’ve been drinking for the past couple years. They all may have gotten some of Stiffler’s pale ale.