Staying Busy South of the Border

One thing that is debated a lot in science is sex addiction. While experts confirm that sex addiction is real it’s often psychology’s chuckled about addiction stepchild. We’d all be addicted to sex if we could have it whenever we wanted, right?

Tom Cruise would even tell you sex addicts just have an alien ghost controlling their penis that must be controlled with magic meters.

But anyone skeptical of sex addiction can turn to the case of 36-year-old Brazilian woman, Ana Catarian Bezerra, who just won the right to watch porn and masturbate at work.

The woman, who suffers from a “chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality,” has been known to masturbate as many as 47 times a day but is now undergoing treatment which has lowered her need for sexual release to a reasonable 18 times a day.

Now I’m just as much a horn dog as the next guy but even at my sexual peak of 14 the idea of masturbating 18 times in the day would be like standing in front of Mt. Everest. I don’t think it could have even been done. That should prove the difference between a sex addict and a person with a normal sexual appetite or in my case a normal sexual appetite that has been hindered by alcoholism.

I guess the most interesting thing about this story is how Bezerra’s employer plans to address this issue. I would think a cubicle is the wrong setting for her now unless her fellow employees are just cool with seeing someone masturbate all day (and some of them probably are).

So she’s got to go with a closed office and coworkers are going to need to knock. But what about the awkward conversations that will inevitably happen when they knock and she’s rubbing one out? That’s why I think they need to get her a sign to hang on the door that can be flipped when she’s “busy.”

Think of it like an on/off sign or gone fishin.’ But instead of fishin’ it could be jerkin.’ She’s obviously not self-conscious about since she filed a lawsuit. A sexually repressed American would have just ran to the bathroom every 10 minutes.