CRAPture - Their Brains May Have Fled But Their Souls and Bodies Are Still Here

Was anyone else disappointed there was no Rapture last weekend? Well, Harold Camping certainly was.

Camping, who bilked hundreds of followers into wasting their time and money on his failed rapture prophecy that the world soon end, resurfaced Monday and told the San Francisco Chronicle he was “flabbergasted” that the Rapture did not occur.

From SFGate.com

"It has been a really tough weekend. I'm looking for answers," Camping said, adding that meant frequent prayer and consultations with friends.

"But now I have nothing else to say," he said, closing the door to his home. "I'll be back to work Monday and will say more then."

He thinks he’s had a tough weekend. What about all the free stuff I missed out on?

Six o’clock came Saturday and I was set to go get my loot on like it was South Central L.A. 1992 and then nothing happened. I was really looking forward to the first and last Heathen’s Halloween where, instead of getting candy, I’d get cars, clothes and cash but instead I just got to keep all my Christian friends.

I do take solace though in all the stories about people who quit their jobs and blew their savings on Harold Camping’s Crapture.

Like Robert Fitzpatrick, a retired Metro worker from New York who blew $140,000 on ads and billboards promoting this thing. He told a Nigerian newspaper, “I do not understand why... I do not understand why nothing has happened. I can’t tell you what I feel right now. Obviously, I haven’t understood it correctly because we’re still here.”

Don’t be so hard on yourself Fitzy. You didn’t misinterpret anything. You’re just a gullible dumbass.

I’ve even seen some stories on TV where people like Fitzgerald are being pitied and that’s asinine. Though, I do appreciate them because, like many of the other people I ridicule in the Back Yard, they make me feel better about myself.

P.S. - I just hope this South Korean guy wasn't influenced by Camping. He must have been so eager to impress Jesus that instead of waiting for the Rapture he went ahead an crucified himself.

From the AP:

SEOUL, South Korea — A South Korean taxi driver found dead and nailed to a cross in an apparent re-creation of the crucifixion of Jesus Christ probably carried out the ordeal on his own, police said Wednesday.

The 58-year-old man was wearing only underwear and a crown of thorns when he was found May 1 — one week after Easter — in an abandoned stone quarry in the country's south. His hands and feet were nailed to the cross, there was a stab wound in his abdomen and nylon strings were tied around his neck.

Kim is believed to have nailed his feet to the cross, tied his neck to it and stabbed himself in the side. He is then believed to have drilled holes in his hands and slipped them over nails on the cross.

Yeesh, some people are just too sick for their own good.