R.I.P.M. - Rest in Peace Monkey

Woman sues over her pet monkey's grave
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

MELBOURNE, Fla. - A woman on Florida's Atlantic coast has sued the owner of a pet cemetery over her pet squirrel monkey's grave.

Janet Steiner's half-kilogram monkey Mighty died of cancer in 1994, and she had him buried at Columbia Pet Memorial Gardens in Melbourne.

But she says the cemetery's owner did not maintain the grounds well, and she moved his remains last year.

Now she wants $500 - the cost of the original burial and the move.

The cemetery's owner says he has maintained the cemetery and that Steiner's demands were unreasonable - asking that he clean up within days of hurricanes in 2004 and cut the grass every week.

A small claims court judge says he will mail his decision after visiting the cemetery.

Okay, let me play Judge Wopner here for a second. I'm going to dismiss the charge of not cleaning up days after a hurricane. That count is when the monkey woman starts to just sound crazy but I think I have to agree with her about keeping the grass cut every week. I think the amount of pet worship is this country is crazy but you should probably mow every week, pet cemetary or no. So the decision is for the plaintiff in the amount of $250. Next case.