Foreign beards fall short at Beard Off '09

Home-state favorite takes beard battle
Associated Press

ANCHORAGE, Alaska — David Traver didn’t expect to win the freestyle category in the World Beard and Moustache Championships. But he did.

The Anchorage man certainly didn’t think he’d go on to be crowned champ of the international competition that salutes those with the fanciest whiskers. But he was.

“Kind of cool,” said Traver, 43, who normally competes in the full beard category but decided to do something different in the freestyle category for Saturday’s competition — very different. He and a stylist worked for more than an hour to get his long beard woven into the shape of a snow shoe.

The judges went for it.

“No American has ever placed in the freestyle let alone won it,” Traver said Sunday.

Traver defeated Gerhard Knapp and Hans-Peter Weis, both Germans, to clinch the top spot in the freestyle bout.

In the overall competition, Traver beat out Benjamin Juergens of Los Angeles, who won first in the imperial partial beard category (hair on the cheeks and upper lip), and Jack Passion of San Francisco, who was first in the natural full beard category.

“His beard is supremely impressive,” Traver said of Passion.

USA! USA! USA! Take that you freaking krauts. Go eat some bratwurst and shave those excuses for beards. Also, I love the way these guys talk about beards the same way athletes talk about the skills of other athletes. Beard growing ain't for the weak and an Alaskan just proved it.

P.S. - Sarah Palin went crazy for the sharp dressed men.