Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity I sent him a song I wrote for him about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him claiming he had written it. They are back together. FML
Today, I crashed my car. I saw a deer getting ready to run into the middle of the road, and I was very sleepy, so I panicked and slammed on the breaks, causing me to lose control of the car on the wet road. After I hit a tree, I realized that the deer was a plastic lawn ornament. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
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