Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
Today, I received official notification that my license was being suspended for multiple DUIs. Apparently, my brother is a drunk and has been using my ID. FML
The second FML reminds me of a tale about The Squirrel Patton. Apparently, one time the Squirrel was going to get arrested for something. I can't remember what. So instead of handing over his ID, he tells the cops that he's Zeke. The plan was foiled though, when Squirrel couldn't remember his own brother's birthday. Worthless.
If I recall correctly, Leroy drove by and witnessed his son the Squirrel getting arrested. Can anyone confirm this?
ReplyDeletethat is a true story. zeke was talking about it the other day. leroy caught him. i think its the mustache. it holds all his power.
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