BYB Express

It's Friday again and you know what that means - it's time for the BYB Express. Don't think of it as getting less blog. Just think of it getting more time to plan your weekend.

F My Life Moment of the Day
Today, I was doing a job for some people on my street cutting their bushes. After I had finished and went to get my pay, I realized I had gone to the wrong house. They called the police. FML

Wal Mart Person of the Day

I'd like my three wishes now.

SMARTER THAN THE AVERAGE BEAR

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Well it seems as if the animal revolution is back and in full force. I think they gave us a couple months off to fully absorb the financial meltdown but once the oil spill started killing their scaled and feathered brethren Animal Planet decided to jump on us again. And this time they've learned how to drive. There's got to be some compound somewhere where the animals are training. Maybe the barefoot bandit has been the one helping them. Either way I know our only chance of survival is destroying the compound. And not leaving out any picanic baskets.

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day!

(202): the last time i saw him was an hour ago and he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.

UNDERPANTS!
Professional Football Quarterback Tim Tebow Signs with Jockey®
Jockey.com



Heisman Trophy Winner and pro football quarterback Tim Tebow will serve as a Jockey spokesperson beginning in July, 2010.

"I'm excited to represent the Jockey® brand. I've long been a fan and consumer of Jockey and I'm looking forward to a great relationship with such a respectable and innovative company."

Tim will work with several of Jockey’s product lines, including the NEW Jockey® Staycool collection coming in Spring 2011.

Welcome to the team, Tim!

I'm thinking Football Jesus must have signed on to unveil what will be Jockey's new chastity belt edition - for the man who hates his penis. They could pair him with A.C. Green and have them tour colleges with their message of abstinence. It'd be the time Bud Bundy worked for the No Sex Hotline. Ah, I kid Mr. Tebow. I'm sjure many a lady would love a chance to sneek a peak at his underoos.



POLICE WORK YOU CAN SINK YOUR TEETH INTO
Idaho police dog back to work after suspension
AP

SUN VALLEY, Idaho — A police dog in the central Idaho resort town of Sun Valley is back on duty after serving a "suspension" for an unprovoked attack on a small schnauzer.

Sun Valley Police Chief Cameron Daggett says the 5-year-old German shepherd named Dax took a few weeks off the job after the incident. The dog will receive more training to prevent a reoccurrence of what Daggett says was an unfortunate situation.

Dax is a four-year veteran of the force. He is trained to find illegal drugs, missing people, and evidence at crime scenes.

On June 26, authorities say Dax attacked a schnauzer named Max. Max's owner says the city is paying the $600 veterinarian bill.

You know, I'm just about tired of bleeding heart liberals making it hard for an honest cop to do his job. Sure, Officer Dax might have to play a little more bad cop than he'd like but that's part of the job. How do we know that schnauzer didn't have information related to a major drug cartel. dax may have single handedly shut down a narcotics ring and saved lives in the process. But we're going to shed tears for the schnauzer instead. What is this country coming to when an honest cop can't do his job?

On this day in…
762 – Baghdad is founded.
1733 – The first Masonic Grand Lodge in the future United States is constituted in Massachusetts.
1932 – Premiere of Walt Disney's Flowers and Trees, the first cartoon short to use Technicolor and the first Academy Award winning cartoon short.
1956 – A joint resolution of the U.S. Congress is signed by President Dwight D. Eisenhower, authorizing In God We Trust as the U.S. national motto.
1965 – US President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Social Security Act of 1965 into law, establishing Medicare and Medicaid.
1974 – Watergate Scandal: US President Richard M. Nixon releases subpoenaed White House recordings after being ordered to do so by the United States Supreme Court.
1975 – Jimmy Hoffa disappears from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. He is never seen or heard from again.

Births
1818 – Emily Brontë, English novelist (d. 1848)
1863 – Henry Ford, American industrialist (d. 1947)
1934 – Bud Selig, American Commissioner of Baseball
1941 – Paul Anka, Canadian singer and composer
1947 – Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austrian-born American actor, bodybuilder, and 38th Governor of California
1950 – Frank Stallone, American singer and actor
1963 – Lisa Kudrow, American actress
1963 – Chris Mullin, American basketball player
1964 – Vivica A. Fox, American actress
1971 – Tom Green, Canadian comedian and actor
1971 – Christine Taylor, American actress
1974 – Hilary Swank, American actress
1977 – Jaime Pressly, American actress

Super list of birthdays today but I've got to go with an Arnold Schwarzenegger prank call from Ebaums World. This lady absolutely loses her mind. You can almost tell she's about to start crying.



HUG IT OUT BITCH!
Iowa man who just wanted a hug lands in jail
AP

IOWA CITY, Iowa — Police arrested a man who they said punched another man who refused to hug him. Iowa City police responded to a report of someone being aggressive and punching cars Sunday night. The suspect, a 23-year-old man, told police he became upset after he tried to hug a man and was pushed away.

Police said the man punched and dented the hood of a car before punching the man he tried to hug.

Police said the man had a blood-alcohol content of .086. He was charged with simple assault and fourth-degree criminal mischief, a serious misdemeanor.

I don't blame this guy one iota for sucking that other dude in the face. We'd have a much better society if people would stop and hug a stranger once a day. What's the harm in that? And if to get the point across you have to dent a few cars and break a few noses then so be it.