They Didn't Extract the Alcohol

Woman charged with DUI for vanilla use
AP

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — A Germantown woman is charged with DUI, but deputies didn't find the usual alcoholic drinks or drugs. What they discovered in Kelly Moss' car was vanilla.

Shelby County deputies responded to a call on Thursday to find Moss slumped over her steering wheel in front of Arlington Middle School. (Commercial Appeal: Moss' photo.)

The Commercial Appeal newspaper quoted the police report which stated the 48-year-old Moss was unable to stand or walk and her speech was slurred.

Deputies found diet cola cans and partly empty bottles of vanilla extract — 35 percent alcohol by volume.

Officers said Moss's breath smelled strongly of vanilla and a store receipt from Wednesday was for two 8-ounce bottles of the extract.

Moss was held on charges of DUI and refusing a blood-alcohol test.

Well, you learn something new everyday. I had no idea that vanilla extract was 70 proof and I'm willing to bet this lady didn't have any idea either. She was probably just trying to make herself a delicious Vanilla Diet Coke and ended up drunk in floorboard. If the cops are serious about giving this lady a DUI for a case of misunderdstanding then they need some serious soul searching. Just look at her picture. She's nothing like the usual lot of deadbeats featured on the blog. So I'm calling for the swift dismissal of all charges against Ms. Moss. Don't worry lady, you have the full support of the Back Yard Blog Nation behind you.

P.S. - No wonder Vanilla Ice was always so hostile. He had to be ripped on his own name all the time.