BYB Express - Tuesday Edition

Sorry, I'm pressed for time today so you are getting the Express. Don't think of it as getting less blog. Think of it as getting more time to think of better excuses for Dez Bryant.

F My Life Moment of the Day
Today, I was walking towards a group of guys playing basketball, who stopped and stared at me while saying, "Daaaamn..." As I passed them, one of them said, "She looked hotter from a distance." FML

Wal Mart Person of the Day

I'm almost sure that kid's hand is going to be stuck in a matter of moments.

IGNORANCE IS BLISS
Bryant didn't know carrying pads was Cowboys ritual
AP


SAN ANTONIO (AP) -- Dallas Cowboys rookie receiver Dez Bryant said he never expected his refusal to carry Roy Williams' shoulder pads to become such an big deal.

The first-round pick also said he didn't know that rookies carrying the pads of veterans after practice was a long-standing ritual.

"I told Roy this, I said if that situation was going to turn out that big, he could have walked in with his tights on," Bryant said after the team's first of two practices Tuesday. "I would have took his shoulder pads, his pants, his helmet, his socks, his shoes. I would have took everything. But you know what, that's not even an issue."

Though Bryant is expected to challenge for the starting spot opposite Pro Bowl receiver Miles Austin on a team with Super Bowl expectations, Williams has repeatedly said that everything is good between the receivers.

While signing autographs with fans shouting their support for him Tuesday, Bryant agreed.

"We are fine. Matter of fact, it is not even a situation," Bryant said. "Me and Roy are great. Not only Roy, but the whole team. ... Everybody on the team likes me and I like everybody on the team. (Reporters) are trying to put me and Roy against each other. That's not going to happen. We're trying to do something real special here."

Okay, as far as excuses go, "I didn't know" ranks right up there with "my dog ate my homework" in the Lame Hall of Fame. I'm pretty sure Dez wasn't the only rookie asked to do some humiliating shit this week so he can quit with the ignorance routine. He knew. Plus, it doesn't matter what Roy asked him to do. Hazing is hazing and Roy is a veteran. Short of ordering Dez to give him a handy, Roy could have asked for anything. Most importantly, this excuse does nothing to assure anyone about Dez's character. I think we'd all like to see him humbled and he refuses to do so. Why not just admit you tried to be a hot shot and got taken down a couple pegs. I think you'd earn more respect for doing so. But who could resist a good, "I didn't know I couldn't do that.



Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day!

(919): yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market

I LOVE A PARADE!
China bans prostitute 'shame parades'
By Reuters



BEIJING - China will end the public shaming of criminal suspects by parading them through the streets, the People’s Daily reported on Tuesday, after online commentators championed the case of a prostitute.

A spokesperson at the Public Security Bureau in central Henan province confirmed the ban on the practice long used by local law enforcement officials.

Although the ban is meant to apply to all suspects, the “shame parades””have most often been used in periodic government crackdowns on prostitution.

Online activists launched a campaign to halt the marches this month after a suspected prostitute was pictured barefoot, handcuffed and led about by a rope in a street in Dongguan in southern Guangdong province.

Netizens expressed outrage at a “humiliating””act and urged sympathy towards sex workers, according to Mop.com, a popular online forum.

Prostitution is banned and a taboo topic that generates scant coverage in the state media, except for annual crackdowns.

Four years ago, some 100 prostitutes were forced to march in front of a jeering crowd in Shenzhen, a boomtown in Guangdong province. The march was broadcast on television to publicise the government’s efforts to combat the rising sex trade.

Just when I finally booked my trip to Guangdong Province, China to watch a good Hooker Humiliation Parade the Chinese government goes and gets all bleeding heart liberal on me. What happened to the Chinese government that would run over someone with a tank for protesting?

But I guess this article just goes to show how different the culture is in China. I guess dignity and self respect are so valuable in China that a humiliation parade would be a good enough detourrant. In the U.S., the prospect of getting arrested, murdered or infected with AIDS isn't enough to stop them. Of course when you've got girls on Texts From Last Night talking about the "walk of shame" like its a ride at Six Flags you kind of understand why. Either way I'd like to see a good old fashoined whore parade here in Odessa. Maybe I'll go talk to the Chamber of Commerce tomorrow.

On this day in…
1663 – The English Parliament passes the second Navigation Act requiring that all goods bound for the American colonies have to be sent in English ships from English ports.
1794 – French Revolution: Maximilien Robespierre is arrested after encouraging the execution of more than 17,000 "enemies of the Revolution".
1919 – The Chicago Race Riot erupts after a racial incident occurred on a South Side beach, leading to 38 fatalities and 537 injuries over a five-day period.
1940 – The animated short A Wild Hare is released, introducing the character of Bugs Bunny.
1953 – The Korean War ends when the United States, the People's Republic of China, and North Korea sign an armistice agreement.
1974 – Watergate Scandal: the House of Representatives Judiciary Committee votes 27 to 11 to recommend the first article of impeachment (for obstruction of justice) against President Richard Nixon.
1987 – RMS Titanic, Inc. begins the first expedited salvage of wreckage of the RMS Titanic.
1996 – Centennial Olympic Park bombing: in Atlanta, Georgia, a pipe bomb explodes at Centennial Olympic Park during the 1996 Summer Olympics. One woman (Alice Hawthorne) is killed, and a cameraman suffers a heart attack fleeing the scene. 111 are injured.

Births
1931 – Jerry Van Dyke, American actor
1957 – Bill Engvall, American comedian
1969 – Triple H, American professional wrestler
1972 – Maya Rudolph, American actress and comedian
1975 – Alex Rodriguez, American baseball player
1990 – Nick Hogan, American reality TV star

I realize pro wrestling isn't for anyone (especially for people who don't still live on their parents' property) but here's a pretty funny clip of birthday boy and WWE heir Triple H having some fun with Stone Cold.



I'LL TAKE A BIG MAC SMOTHERED IN UNDERWEAR
Underwear bandit hits McD's
By REUTERS

Oklahoma - A woman wearing underwear on her head robbed an Oklahoma McDonald's fast food restaurant and remained at large as police sought to identify her, police said on Wednesday.

Authorities said a surveillance video shows a middle-aged woman, wearing black pants and a black shirt, gloves, and a blond wig walking up to a McDonald's drive-through window.

The woman has what appears to be a pair of men's underwear wrapped around her face and held in place with paper clips, according to Midwest City Police Chief Brandon Clabes. Midwest City is a suburb of Oklahoma City.

She reached inside the drive-through window when employees had stepped away for a moment, slid open a cash register drawer apparently using a key and took an undisclosed sum of money.

"It was pretty brazen. There were employees inside the business when all this was going on," Clabes told Reuters.

Clabes said the video was being aired on local television and authorities hope someone will be able to identify the woman. The robbery happened at 3 a.m. local time on Tuesday.

"You see a lot of things...but this is one of the stranger ones we've seen," Clabes said.

I'd hope this is strange. Middle aged women don't usually strap a pair of tighty whities to their face and hold up a fast food place. You'd have to imagine this lady is pretty hard up if she can't even afford to get a ski mask or a pair of pantyhose to throw over her head. Of course judging by that hairdo she's rocking, she might not want anything messing that up. Someone should have told her that she didn't have to go to that much trouble to rob the place though. This guy has been even more brazen about doing it for years.



P.S. - You think when she finished robbing them she told them they might want to clean the place too? She probably thought it smelled like balls in there.