(305): Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
(615): She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
(504): loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
(314): you don't even go to loyola anymore
(703): The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
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