In today's edition we have a hoops star talking Tiger and suprisingly I'm not talking about the Wizard's Brendan Haywood who wrote in his blog that Elin Woods was forunate to be with Tiger and not Chris Brown. Truly depolorable. No this column is dedicated to the scribblings of a madman, my new favorite Laker Ron Artest.
Artest recently penned an open letter to Tiger and posted it on his website. I'm not going to post the whole thing because its a rambling mess but here's a few high points.
- I have made the same mistakes. Before I got married to my wife, I had a baby with another young lady, after I already had two by my girlfriend who is now my wife. We also had another baby which makes three for us and four for me. Two boys and two girls.
- I cannot sit here and say the thought to have many women has never crossed my mind. If I were Jesus I could.
- I thought you were 36 or 37 until I read the news today. A 33-year-old man who has been a model citizen with so much at stake. This is your first publicly known issue since you started your career, compared to my 50 or more publicly known issues and mistakes.
Classic writing. If I were only so talented. I like the math lesson on how many kids Ron has. I can just imagine Tiger trying to put it all together and then saying to himself "wait, why do I give a shit?"
I also love his take on Jesus. Obviously Ron never checked out the Last Temptation of Christ. Plus, I'm sure while Mary Magladene had JC on lockdown some of those miracles must have been to impress the chicks.
It was also nice of Ron to reassure Tiger by bringing up all his own transgressions. You know your life has gone to hell when Ron Artest has to comfort you. I wonder if Tiger will actually read this. I'm sure at the least its nice to know someone out there doesn't hate him.
Of course these weren't Ron's only highlights of the week. After scoring nine points to help the Lakers to a victory against Chicago Ron had these gems.
- On Kobe's broken thumb - "If I ask him how his finger is doing he is going to strangle me. He gets very mad. Really. You think he is playing, but he is really serious."
Artest said he does not anticipate any trouble with Ben Wallace when Los Angeles visits Detroit on Sunday, although he wouldn't mind fighting him on pay-per-view. He even called Wallace ''a good guy'' who has a ''great family,'' and said if they did go at it, the bout would have to be sanctioned. ''It's something that's kinda cool and probably will never happen,'' Artest said. In a recent interview with the Sporting News, Artest said he's still ready to fight Wallace, the player who shoved him on the play that preceded the brawl with Pistons fans when Artest was with Indiana.
I'm real happy Artest is a Laker so I can appreciate his insanity without becoming disgusted by it. And it doesn't hurt when the Lake Show is playing like this.
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