Shut Your Frozen Mouth

I ran across a pretty good link recently that highlighted something we all probably hate. Edited for TV movies. You know, USA or TNT takes some movie and replaces all the cuss words with terrible substitutes. My favorite is 'Fargo' because they replace all the fucks with freezes. Its great. Here's a rundown of some other great lines.

The Usual Suspects
Original Line: “Hand me the keys, you fucking cocksucker!”
Edited Line: “Hand me the keys, you fairy godmother!”

The Big Lewbowski
Original Line: “This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!” and “Do you see what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass?”
Edited Line: “This is what happens when you fight (or find) a stranger in the Alps” or “Do you see what happens when you fix a stranger scrambled eggs” or “This is what happens when you pump a stranger’s gas”

The Exorcist
Original Line: “Your mother sucks cocks in Hell, Karras, you faithless slime.”
Edited Line: “Your mother sews socks that smell, you faithless slime.”

Scarface
Original Line: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pussy?” and “This town like a great big pussy just waiting to get fucked”
Edited Line: “Where’d you get the beauty scar, tough guy? Eatin’ pineapple?” and “This town like a great big chicken just waiting to get plucked.”

Snakes On A Plane
Original Line: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”
Edited Line: “Enough is enough! I have had it with these monkey fighting snakes, on this Monday to Friday Plane!”