Thursday, March 19, 2009
The suspect is about 5'10", red eyes, big horns with a picthfork
Woman accused of church theft blames Satan
AP
ARLINGTON, Wash. -A woman accused of taking more than $73,000 from the Arlington church where she was an administrative assistant blames the devil. Papers filed with a theft charge Wednesday in Snohomish County Superior Court say the 62-year-old Arlington woman told detectives "Satan had a big part in the theft."
The Everett Herald reported the woman was accused of forging the pastor's signature on 80 checks from the Arlington Free Methodist church. She was fired in February 2008.
She told detectives she used the money to cover household expenses because she couldn't stand the thought of losing her home.
Look, if you're going to blame Satan you might as well go all out and say you were possessed. I don't think saying Satan had a big part is quite going to cut it, especially when you just told the cops you didn't want to lose your home. They'll never get Satan though. He's teflon. That bastard.
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