BYB Express

Good morning to you on this wonderful Monday. Let's get things started with a little BYB Express. Don't think of it as getting less blog. Just think of it getting more time to mourn Manute Bol.

F My Life Moment of the Day
Today, I overheard my boyfriend's friends describe me as the "fat and crazy girl who smells like deli meat". FML

Wal Mart Person of the Day

That looks like Zeke's even more Redneck doppleganger.

The Final Showdown

I really hate to beat a dead hooker here but as I was posting the Express for last Friday I was dipping back into a bit of the old man's cough medicine and didn't have my wits about me to post the best stuff from the aftermath of the NBA Finals. And I'm going to keep it mostly positive.

Sure, I could remind everyone of Big Baby's pre-game win guarantee (it matches Pierce's nicely) or I could bring up Rasheed Wallace having to be forcably detained from attacking referees after the game (always class Sheed) but hasn't Beantown suffered enough for one year? (plus they own LA all-time).

Instead I'll reserve a little hatred for NBA Royalty and his spawn. Apparently Marcus Jordan (mostly known for refusing to wear a pair of sneakers) was quite upset that ABC broadcasters compared career stats between his daddy and Kobe (which was bound to happen once Kobe racked up this many titles.) Anyway here was his Twitter response.

NO ONE…And I mean NO ONE should EVER com par kobe Bryant to my dad an say that he is anywhere near close to my dad. He’s jagging this game.

Aside from the awful grammar which I'm sure can be best perfected in a North Carolina/Chicago classroom or a house where your father is never home, Marcus sure is quick to defend something he never earned. This would be the equivalent of Martin Luther King III downtalking Jesse Jackson for trying to "jagg" his father's game. Kobe shouldn't have to apologize for others making comparisons to Jordan. It's inevitable. They're extremely similar players and Kobe is almost up to six titles. So Marcus why don't you take a chill pill, strap on a pair of adidas and quit costing your school $3 million? As far as spoiled brats go you're starting to make the Menendez brothers look good.

P.S. - Does your dad even like you Marcus? I'm pretty sure he clowned you in his Hall of Fame speech. Plus I'm sure between the age of 2-18 you only saw him three or four times, you know in between trips to Vegas with Barkley.

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day!

(908): My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.

God Is Ron and Ron Is God! Part 2

Continuing the trend of me leaving out the best stuff from the aftermath of the NBA Finals was my gaffe in putting the wrong Artest video up. Artest deserves to have his crazy displayed in the proper manner because he was the unlikely hero of the deciding game. I've had a ton of "Celtic fans" remind me this week that I owe the Laker win to Artest and not Kobe. As if I needed the reminder. Anyone who reads this blog knows I've been all about Ron since Day One and now I am vindicated for advocating the Ariza dump. So to celebrate here's Ron's post-game interview where he thanks his hood and his shrink.



On this day in…
1948 – Columbia Records introduces the long-playing record album in a public demonstration at the Waldorf-Astoria Hotel in New York City.
1964 – Three civil rights workers, Andrew Goodman, James Chaney and Mickey Schwerner, are murdered in Neshoba County, Mississippi, United States, by members of the Ku Klux Klan.
1982 – John Hinckley is found not guilty by reason of insanity for the attempted assassination of U.S. President Ronald Reagan.

Plus, high looking comedian Jim Breuer was born in 1967 and 'American Idol' contestand Kris Allen was born in 1985. Obviously there aint much to work with there but I found some video of Breuer getting in while filming a Pizza Hut ad. I think its fake but you be the judge.



Tell My How Ass Tastes!

I might as well finish things up on the Laker kick by playing the much hyped new chapter of the feud between Kobe and Shaq. Of course a few years ago Shaq scored a title with Dwayne Wade while Kobe was sitting in Smush Parker hell. Then when Kobe failed to win against the Celtics in '08 Shaq had this tasty insult rap.



Well payback is a bitch isn't it. Kobe is now sitting on five titles while Shaq seems to be hitting the twilight of his career and stuck in a weird Lebron induced Cavaliers purgatory. And Kobe let him know after The Finals.



But as Lee Corso would say, "not so fast my friends." Only a day before Shaq told media outlets that with five titles Kobe would be the greatest Laker of all-time and after the post-game comment by Kobe, Shaq responded with this tweet:



I'm thinking Shaq is already considering a return to L.A. to finish his career. Imagine the prospect of Shaq Diesel coming off the bench to spell Bynum or even better yet, if the Lakers can swap Bynum for Chris Bosh. I'd love to see a front line with Bosh, Gasol, Shaq and Odom. Match that Lebron. I dare you.