Too Fat To Kill?

Man using 'fat' defense in NJ depicted as marksman
By BETH DeFALCO, AP

HACKENSACK, N.J. -Prosecutors cross-examining a Florida man who claims he was too fat to have killed his former son-in-law tried to portray the defendant as a skilled marksman and attempted to undercut his alibi.

The 62-year-old defendant, Edward Ates, was at least 285 pounds when Paul Duncsak was shot in 2006.

Ates' attorney has made the case that his client didn't have the energy to run up a staircase, accurately shoot Duncsak, leave before police arrived, then make a 21-hour drive to his mother's home in Louisiana, as prosecutors claim.

His doctor testified that bounding up the stairs would have caused Ates to become short of breath and shake, making it difficult to keep his wrist straight enough to accurately fire a gun at someone from a distance.

Rest of story here.

This has to be the biggest BS defense ever. I'm not proud of it but I have to admit I tip the scales at well over 285 pounds these days and while I'm not going to be confused for Usian Bolt anytime soon, I'm not bedridden either. I could see if this guy was like Mark Mangino fat, the defense might make sense, but not at 285.

I'm 100% certain that if it was needed I could run up a flight of stairs, shoot a guy, run back down the stairs and then drive 21 hours. I might be a bit winded and needed a glass of water afterward but I could get the job done. In fact, if the proescution would like my help I'd be happy to make the trip to New Jersey and perform a recreation.