What If God Was One Of Us?

Edmonton man renames himself 'God'
By MICHELLE THOMPSON/QMI Agency

EDMONTON - God confesses to be a convicted criminal who spent five years in prison for trying to smuggle a suitcase of marijuana into Japan.

He also lives in Edmonton, and, thank God for name changes.

A college student formerly known as John Paul LaPointe fought the Alberta government to have his moniker changed to God Dieux - and won.

“Apparently their lawyers went a little crazy over it,” the 33-year-old said, adding: “I know now is the time for change.” Service Alberta spokesman Cam Traynor confirmed the switch, explaining lawyers found no legal reason to deny the request.

This wasn’t the first time an Albertan has gone holy with a handle. Several people have renamed themselves God in the past, Traynor said.

The latest God is far from sacred.

Several years ago, he spent five and a half years in a Japanese prison after getting busted trying to smuggle a suitcase of marijuana into the Narita airport, just outside Tokyo.

Before then, God was living in a new-age spiritual commune in Pune, India, where he met a Russian mystic who helped give him a new identity.

Back then, God still went by his birth name, but chose to change it after an off-the-cuff conversation with the Russian.

“It was spontaneous,” God said. “I just knew it was the true self that was manifesting in that moment.

“I don’t want to make problem with the Quebecers,” he said, laughing. “I want to be able to visit Montreal and try the maple syrup and not get heckled.” God, who moved to Edmonton last November, said he’s expecting no backlash from the religious community.

“I think people are really respectful in Canada of different beliefs and are respectful of each other’s beliefs,” God said. “In a sense, this is giving a very playful energy to the idea of God. It’s making it very ordinary.”

I think if I were trying to start a fresh new life after a stint in prison the last thing I would do is change my name to God. That kind of name kind of gives you a big profile. Just try to imagine getting out of jury duty with a name like God.

Judge - "Oh, you have to work? Well since you're omnipresent and all powerful I think you'll manage."

I hope for God's sake things do work out well in Montreal. I'm sure he'll have no problem tasting the maple syrup but when he signs the check as The Allmighty he may have to answer the question, "what's that all aboot?"