School music booster club to sell alpaca manure
AP
ST. CHARLES, Ill. -The music booster club at Central Community Unit School District 301 in St. Charles isn't bothering with bake sales and car washes this year.
Instead, it's selling bags of something promoters call "paca poo." Minus the cute name, the product is alpaca manure.
Booster club secretary Gudrun Dorgan said it is a great garden fertilizer, and it comes in little pellets that are easy to work into the ground.
Parents, students and teachers will be scooping and selling droppings on Saturday at Inspiration Farm Alpacas. A 30-pound bag will cost $10.
Farm owner Jeff Koehl has been raising alpacas for four years and usually sells manure for profit. He said alpacas digest their food more efficiently than most farm animals, so their waste doesn't smell too bad and doesn't require lengthy composting.
Maybe I'm grossly underestimating the selling power of alpaca manure but this sounds like the worst fundraiser I've ever heard of. Isn't it bad enough these kids are band geeks? Now they've got to sell alpaca shit to remain an outcast? I imagine the wedgies are a lot worse when the football team shoves alpaca poo into your underpants before pulling them up your crack. Plus its almost certain someone is going to pour alpaca crap in the tubas. I kind totally see a school shooting stemming from this idea. Not since O'Doyle have I seen a better opportunity for maure related bullying.
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