Marty the Murdering Moose

Police Suspect Moose Killed Woman
AP

STOCKHOLM (Nov. 28) -- Swedish police say they've cleared a man who was arrested for allegedly murdering his wife after deciding the culprit was most likely a moose.

Police spokesman Ulf Karlsson says "the improbable has become probable" in the puzzling death last year of 63-year old Agneta Westlund. She was found dead after an evening stroll in the forest.

According to news reports, the victim's husband, Ingemar Westlund, was jailed for 10 days. The case against him was dropped in January.

Karlsson declined to give details of the case Saturday, saying a news conference would be held Tuesday.

The tabloid Expressen says hairs and saliva from a moose — aka a European elk — were found on the victim's clothes. Police would not immediately confirm that.

I think I need to know some of the particulars of the case before I decide whether a moose or Ingemar Westlund is at fault for this henious crime. Specifically I'd like to know the manner of death. If the lady was trampled to death, gored with horns or bitten my money is on the moose but if she was shot, stabbed or stangled with a ligature I'm betting it was Westlund. Seriously, how the hell do they not know?

P.S. - If the moose is responsible there is no doubt that this is retaliation for the assault of Marty Moose at Wally World theme park in 1983. That's when the animal revoltuion truly began.