Today, the fire alarm went off in my dorm and I saw and smelled smoke coming under my door. My second story window wouldn't unlock so I broke it open, threw out as many of my belongings as I could, and jumped. Turns out, the smell and noise were from my roomates cheap vacuum cleaner, not a fire. FML
Today, my good buddy of about two years set me up on a blind date. I got to the meeting point and realized that my date was a guy. My "buddy" honestly thought I was gay. FML
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