Recipe for disaster

Woman jailed after man complains about her cooking
AP

NAPLES, Fla. -A southwest Florida woman was arrested after deputies said she assaulted her 71-year-old common-law husband after he complained about her cooking. A Lee County Sheriff's Office arrest report shows 66-year-old Meredith Hart Mulcahy was charged with battery on an elderly person Tuesday night.

Deputies said the man got into an argument with her about undercooked potatoes and burnt bread. He went to the bedroom and began eating, and authorities said the woman then threw a phone at him.

Deputies said Mulcahy became belligerent in the back seat of the patrol car and told them that she "burned the bread she was cooking because she was so intoxicated." She was in the Lee County Jail on Wednesday pending a $1,500 bond.

This is why I'm in no hurry to get married. Sure it may be great in the beginning but 40 years later she'd chugging wine over the stove, wishing me death while I watch Moon TV or whatever we'd have by then. Then I'd insult tell her she's just as useless in the kitchen as she is in the bedroom and she'd hit me with a frying pan. It's an evitable outcome I'd just rather avoid.