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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Pets Left Behind


Atheists Promise to Care for Pets After Rapture
David Knowles/AOL News

(Feb. 14) – If, as millions of fundamentalist Christians believe, the Rapture is imminent, who will take care of the pets of those who are suddenly spirited away to heaven?

Derived from an interpretation of passages of the New Testament (most notably 1 Thessalonians 4:15-17), Rapture prophecy posits that Jesus Christ will return to Earth to gather his disciples for eternal life in God's kingdom, while leaving behind those who have not met a standard of piety to face the rule of Satan.

Unfortunately, pets may not be eligible for eternal salvation.

"Pets don't have souls, so they'll remain on Earth," Todd Strandberg, the founder of a Web site called raptureready.com, told BusinessWeek. "I don't see how they can be taken with you."

But 61-year-old Bart Centre has come up with a plan to look after those domestic animals not scooped up in the heavenly exodus. In July, he started Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, a pet-sitting service to care for those critters.



"Each Earth-Bound Pet representative is a confirmed atheist, and as such will still be here on Earth after you have received your reward," the company's Web site promises. "Our network of animal activists are committed to step in when you step up to Jesus."

The terms behind the pet sitting are pretty simple. For an up-front fee of $110, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, which says it has animal rescuers in 22 states, guarantees that it will take care of one pet in the event that the Rapture occurs within 10 years of payment. Each additional pet costs $15, and a 25 percent discount is offered when customers sign up again after the first term of coverage expires.

So far, more than 100 people have signed up for the service. Centre says he splits the proceeds evenly among the company's all-atheist employees. "They have to be ready," he told AOL News. "We commit to reaching a person's pet within 18 to 24 hours after the Rapture."

But what of the ethical ramifications of selling services that you personally believe you will never have to deliver?

"Essentially, that's what most insurance companies do," said Jennifer Fisher, adjunct professor of ethics at the University of San Francisco. "Premiums are based on the likelihood that the company will have to pay out money for claims."

Centre, a retired retail executive living in New Hampshire, doesn't hide the fact that he doesn't believe in the Rapture, but he is happy to take the money of those who do. "We're not looking to actually do anything in return for making this money," he said.

Since July, the company has received thousands of e-mails. "Most are from atheists congratulating us on our idea," Centre said. "Some are from Christians telling us we're going to bend down on our knees before God. Others are from Catholics who get a good laugh over the whole thing, telling us to make as much money as we can."

"Rapture is mostly a Protestant phenomenon," said Randall Reed, assistant professor of religion at Appalachian State University. "The Catholic Church has a more complicated vision of end times. And while St. Francis preached to animals, the general sense put forth in the Bible is that Christ's sacrifice was for people, not animals."

Despite what might seem like a conflicted sales pitch, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets is quite candid about its skepticism. On its Web page of frequently asked questions, for instance, visitors can read the following:

Q: How can I be sure we trust that you'll honor your service agreement, after all you ARE atheists?
A: Being an atheist does not mean we lack morals or ethics. It just means we don't believe in God or gods. All of our representatives are normal folks who love and live for their family, and are gainfully employed and have friends of varying beliefs ...


Centre says that if the Rapture comes to pass, Eternal Earth-Bound Pets won't sell pet coverage to a person unless the company already has a rescuer based in the same state.


"If the Rapture does happen, there's supposed to be a fair amount of chaos, lawlessness, hysteria," Centre said. "So we weigh in added travel time for our rescuers. Even though it will be difficult, we've made a commitment, come hell or high water."

I know that's a long story but you've got to read all of it. It's pretty much the best idea I've ever heard of. I think I've found myself a new job. I can start a similar service in Odessa. I'll just head right out after the rapture and start feeding all the Christian dogs and cats...or not. I guess the chances are pretty much 50/50. So anyone interested in having an agnostic care for their pets after the rapture should email me and we'll set something up financially. I will also take beer as payment.

P.S. - I'm not really surprised that some people would pay for this service but I am a little disappointed that humans would pay $110 to a company that is basically making fun of them right in their face.

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