New York Wants Lebron To Score

Scores Gentlemen's Club Gives LeBron Best 'Come to NY' Offer Yet
Will Brinson/Back Porch Fanhouse

The "LeBron James should really come play in New York City" meme seemed almost as tired as a Brett Favre press conference on repeat, as recently as a few months ago.

But over the past 48 hours, the New York Post, New York Magazine and the New York Daily News have managed to produce a LeBron-inspired weak sauce open letter, an exhaustive desperate plea and a gratuitous potshot at Cleveland, respectively.

Unlike the New York media, the Scores gentlemen's club in New York (the website's surprisingly safe for work) and general manager Ed Norwick have stepped up and made an offer that might be hard for LeBron refuse. Because free lap dances for life is the gift you get the person who has everything.

"I'm tired of going to Knicks games and ... well, going to Knicks games." Norwick told FanHouse over the phone. "This is serious. He'd have open access to Scores -- I'll even bring him in through a private entrance if he wants."

Norwick confirmed that James would have unlimited access to the ladies of Scores for the rest of his life once a contract with the Knicks was signed, pointing out that the lifetime access " ... might push him over the top ... if it's just about the money he wouldn't come [to New York]."

Norwick also told FanHouse that additionally, James would also get a lifetime of complimentary dinners at Robert's Restaurant, which would allow him to "come in and have a girl feed him topless ... or get a lap dance between courses."

There would also be a "LeBron James Day" to celebrate the signing, in which all of the Scores ladies will rock 'Bron Knicks jerseys instead of robes.

Well we already knew Lebron was a wanted man in New York, New Jersey, Chicago and L.A. but I think the NYC might have scored a major blow in this war with Scores' offer. What better way to forget a disappointing playoff series and your ex teammate nailing your mom than a few free lap dances. Plus I bet that Robert's restaurant has a damn fine ribeye. It certainly beats hanging out watching the sub par strippers around Lake Erie or double dating with Delonte and Mommy. I think Lebron should think this offer over long and hard and the best place to think is probably a strip club. Go North young man.