Lord Jesus Christ hit by car
By The Associated Press
NORTHAMPTON, Mass. (AP) — The victim might have forgiven the woman who ran him down in a Massachusetts crosswalk, but police haven’t.
Police say a Pittsfield woman has been cited for running down a man named Lord Jesus Christ as he crossed a street in Northampton on Tuesday.
The 50-year-old man is from Belchertown. Officers checked his ID and discovered that, indeed, his legal name is Lord Jesus Christ. He was taken to the hospital for treatment of minor facial injuries.
Police say 20-year-old Brittany Cantarella was cited for failing to yield to a pedestrian in a crosswalk.
If there's anything that should surely secure your place in Hell it's mowing over Jesus when he's trying to cross the street. Unfortunately it's not listed on the Ten Commandments so there's still hope for Brittany Cantarella. If I were her I'd just apologize to him and hope he doesn't sue. Lord knows that Jew would want every penny. Okay, I'm going to Hell for that one.
P.S. - I'm glad Marshawn Lynch wasn't the one driving. I don't think I could take God being more mad at the Bills than he already is.
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