Today, I worked in the Emergency Room. A patient came in and the diagnosis was "private area caught in zipper". All of my co workers and I were cracking jokes in regards to what happened. I walked into the room the patient is only to find my dad crying in pain. FML
Today, I was riding my bike on the side of the road because there was no sidewalk. Then a car with a loud horn honked at me. Pissed off, I turned around and screamed "shut the fu*k up!" It was my girlfriend's parents saying hi. FML
Today, I was going to the mall and went through Macy's. I saw a really sexy girl from behind; a blond wearing a tiny skirt and a nice blouse. Feeling like being a punk, I went up to her and said, "How you doing?" and slapped her ass. Everyone saw the mannequin fly into the mirror and shatter it. FML
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