Police: Man arrested for masturbating while riding bike through The Diag
Kyle Feldscher/annarbor.com
Police received a call about the man at 6:41 p.m. Monday and responded to the Diag on the University of Michigan’s campus. The 46-year-old man reportedly was riding a bicycle with his shorts down and fondling himself, according to police.
Responding officers located the man and arrested him. During the arrest, police found what they suspect were drugs on the man.
The man was released and awaits potential charges from the Washtenaw County Prosecutor’s Office.
The arrest came one day after a 52-year-old man was arrested for masturbating during the showing of Skyfall, the latest movie in the James Bond series, at the Ann Arbor Summer Festival.
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Look, there’s a time and place for everything. But the time and place for masturbating is not at 6:41 p.m. on the University of Michigan campus.
There’s no bigger proponent of multi-tasking than yours truly but you can’t just go rubbing one out while you’re cruising the campus on two wheels, especially with your shorts down. If this move is going to be attempted at all one has to be stealth about it. You can’t go pedaling down the Diag (whatever that is) bopping your bologna like you’re invisible. It’s just bad form, plain and simple. Get your shlong off of your Schwinn.
I will play devil’s advocate for a moment though and say that something about the Michigan campus must bring it out of folks, pardon the pun. The UM cops caught a dude cranking it the day before during a James Bond showing on campus. Of course, when treated to a two hour showing of Daniel Craig’s abs he probably didn’t stand much of a chance. Pee Wee Herman would have already enjoyed a couple cigarettes in that situation.
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