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Friday, June 21, 2013

Follow the North Star

So the Twitterverse (that's a thing, right?) is all atwitter with the news that second coming of Christ and the lady with the huge ass named their kid North.

Congratulations media whores. Now your child shares a name with the film that outweighs all the good Gary Garrison Rob Reiner did in his career.



What the Hell was Meathead thinking?

This probably wasn't the worst possible scenario for this kid. If given an hour I'm sure I could come up with 20 names dumber than North for a celebrity child. Especially considering Kanye's first choices were Jehovah and Immanuel. He has a God complex, you see.

The late breaking news today (aka whatever TMZ had up when I finally broke down and re-started the BYB) was that North had yet received no middle name. Kanye needs to get on this right way. I can say from personal experience, not having a middle name is an mild inconvenience.

I've almost seen my brother throttle a doctor's office receptionist when she questioned why he wrote a middle inital instead of a name on documents. My parents wanted his initials to be C.C.C. and damned if they couldn't think of a second name that started with a C. You'll have to forgive them, they've drank a lot of Odessa water in their day.

But here's to you North West. Enjoy the name and we won't blame you when you check into rehab in 20 years.

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