MURDER DEFENSE: OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN MADE ME DO IT!
NATIONAL ENQUIRER
A Georgia man gunned down his co-worker's husband outside a suburban Atlanta preschool because the suspect believed an angel that sounded like Olivia Newton-John ordered him to pull the trigger, his defense attorney argued.
Attorney for the defense Doug Peters told ashen faced jurors that Hemy Neuman fell hopelessly in love with Andrea Sneiderman, so much so that he believed he was the father of her two children. The only way to protect them, defense argued, was to kill her hubby Russell "Rusty" Sneiderman in November 2010.
Neuman, who was Scniederman’s superior at General Electic, also seemed hopelessly devoted to hearing and seeing things from beyond the unknown.
The defense said that Neuman heard and saw an angel that resembled “Grease’ star Olivia Newton-John and the demon who appeared to him sounded just like Barry White.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I really shouldn't joke about this because a guy died. That said, I'm just going to have to hope noone he's related to reads this because this story begs for a Grease song parody. Imagine lines like these:
"Tell me more, tell me more.
Was it all in my head?
Tell me more, tell me more.
If it weren't for Barry White, that guy wouldn't be dead."
I'm not going to keep going because I already feel scummy but I wouldn't be shocked if some guy with the same idea as me hadn't already posted a YouTube video.
P.S. - If Neuman had used a knife instead of a gun he could have got "physical, physical." That's the end of the murder song parodies. I promise.
No comments:
Post a Comment