I'd Hate to See What They Do for Their Anniversary

Naked woman found bound in back of Subaru; car's owner calls it Valentine's Day role-playing
By Maxine Bernstein/The Oregonian

Portland police are miffed that at least 9 patrol cars were tied up searching for what they thought was a motorist who had abducted a woman.

It turned out to be a 31-year-old Portland man doing what he called "Valentine's Day role-playing.''

Police said they found his girlfriend naked and bound in the back of his car, with duct tape covering her mouth.

The call came in at 12:35 p.m. when a witness noticed a blue Subaru Legacy leave the New Seasons Market on North Interstate Avenue, with a bound naked woman in the back of the car.

A witness provided a license plate to officers. The Subaru was registered to Nikolas Alexander Harbar, 31, who told officers that he and his girlfriend, Stephanie Morgan Pelzner, 26, were doing some Valentine's Day role-playing. Pelzner confirmed that she voluntarily agreed to be nude and bound in the back of the car, police said.

Police found wine in the Subaru. The woman draped a dress over her as police interviewed her, Halliburton said. "They were real apologetic,'' he said.

"It was the weirdest thing in my 24 years,'' said Halliburton, who on the side does stand-up comedy as the "Comedy Cop."

"If I could use this act in my routine I would," he said. But he added, "I try to be respectful.''

Both Harbar and Pelzner were arrested, accused of second-degree disorderly conduct and booked into the Multnomah County Detention Center.

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Hats off to this couple for trying to put some spice back into their relationship with some creative love making. Too bad Johnny Law and the "Comedy Cop" had to get in their way. Before you judge these good folks, how did you spend Valentine's Day with your lady? Dinner and wine? That god awful movie The Vow? Amateur. Nothing says I love you like a rough Subaru seat cushoin on your bare ass, driving through a mall parking lot naked and the taste of duct tape.

P.S. - I'm betting that wine referred to in the story was either Boone's Farm or Mad Dog 20/20.