The wallet is okay but I think the condom may have expired.

Oregon man's wallet returns after 63 years
AP

BAKER CITY, Ore. -Bill Fulton doesn't remember losing his wallet, but its return helped him remember the past. The leather stayed smooth and the cowboy design unblemished. The zipper moved with ease. And when he looked inside, the contents brought back memories from 1946, when he apparently dropped the wallet behind the balcony bleachers in the Baker Middle School gym.

Fulton's Social Security card and bicycle license, bearing the address where he lived during his teenage years, were positioned in their respective compartments, apparently untouched since the year after World War II ended.

"After that long, my gosh, it stayed in good shape," Fulton told the Baker City Herald. "It's hard to believe."

Worker Nathan Osborne found the wallet — along with old homework, lost library books and a 1964 talent show program — while removing the bleachers for renovations on June 17. It was brought to Fulton's door the following day by Melanie Trindle, the Baker Middle School secretary.

"He was pretty much amazed," Trindle said. "He just kept saying, 'Thank you. Thank you so much.' "

I'd hate to see what's left behind the bleachers at ol' Crockett Junior High. Probably unused birth control pills and switch blades. Lord knows I probably left some things there too as happy as I was to get the hell out of that place.

I honestly believe junior highs were built to identify sociopaths and weed them out of the education process. Junior high kids are the biggest savages known to man. If I were given a choice to hang out with a 14-year-old boy or the BTK Killer for an hour I'd say 'who's driving to Kansas?'