Stop! or My Mom Will Pay You to Have Sex With Me

This kid is heading to Harvard with a mortifying virginity story

By Fernando Alfonso III/Daily Dot

It's one thing to have your parents help you land a date. It's an entirely different, and completely creepy, thing to have them surreptitiously orchestrate an entire summer of love with the sole purpose of getting their kid laid.

A mother from Philadelphia has turned to Craigslist in a desperate attempt to get her 18-year-old Harvard-bound son a "sugar baby" to attend a concert, pick up her son, and have sex with him, many times, in exchange for a car.

The mother made the post Tuesday. Check it out the post in its entirety below.

Best mom ever? Sure, this kid was initially horrified when he found out his mom was thinking about his sex life and trying to get him the hookup. But when that wore off he was probably psyched about the prospect of banging a hot chick.

So what if your mom had to pay for it? Trust me, the trust fund babies you’ll meet at Harvard parents paid for them to have sex too. Just in a different way. They pay for fancy cars, healthy allowances and club memberships that basically are fishing bait for sex. Your mom just had the good sense to cut to the chase and make sure you had sex before getting to college.

Of course the downfall of this story is that if mom keeps putting food on the table instead of letting her boy hunt then one day he’ll starve. Helicopter parents are getting out of control and getting involved in their child’s sex lives just seems like the new frontier. Coach won’t start your kid – storm into his office. The head cheerleader won’t go on a date with him – put her on blast on Facebook. Your kid can’t get laid in a morgue – buy a hooker.

Also, how is this not prostitution. If there is a quid-pro-quo then it would seem to meet the requirements for a crime.