"This is the ballad of Johnny ManzielConquered college football and his life went to HellBeat Alabama and won the HeismanWe found out he’s a douche and his life is ruined"
Who’s spiraling downward faster, Amanda Bynes or Johnny Football?
Since I last checked in on Johnny when he “slept in” at the Manning Academy (cue Bradley Whitford asking Billy Madison if he fell asleep or passed out) Johnny has gotten in a Twitter war with Pat Forde and some Alabama fans, had his shit put out in the streets completely by Wright Thompson, his parents and himself, I guess, and just now became the focus of an NCAA investigation into illegal benefits.
His dad says he’s a stress drinker (who isn’t) and his mom says he lost his smile like Shawn Michaels.
At least he hasn’t gotten cheek studs and plastic surgery. Nor has he lit a dog on fire and gone to a loony bin. But he could. Someone better lock Reveille’s cage.
I did find myself somewhat sympathetic toward Manziel when I read in a college preview magazine that people gave him personalized memorabilia to be signed (personalized items are usually resold) but the personal messages were in erasable marker and they were erased and sold on ebay. I felt bad for him of course, until I found out he may have accepted 5K to sign other items. This guy has an uncanny knack for destroying all feelings of good will toward him.
Either way, he’s going to get suspended or banned by the NCAA or he’s going to have to change his ways. I’d go with finding Jesus. It’ll play well in the media and you don’t have to do 28 days like real rehab. It’ll be fun watching it play out either way. It’s the Summer of Johnny!
"This is the ballad of Johnny ManzielConquered college football and his life went to HellBeat Alabama and won the HeismanWe found out he’s a douche and his life is ruined"
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