F My Life Moment of the Day

Today, a very pretty girl came up to me and asked me for my phone number. Very pleased, I give it to her with a huge smile and tell her that I can be reached at any time. I then watch her go back to her group of friends. My number was for her gay friend, who then meekly waved at me. FML

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day

(254): my sisters under your porch take her home

(941): Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.

(415): I'll probably hate you when I'm sober

(214): And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club

Odom resigns! Candy for everyone!

Odom agrees to stay with Lakers
AP

LOS ANGELES -- Lamar Odom is sticking with the NBA champs.

After a rocky free-agent courtship, Odom agreed on a multi-year contract Thursday to stay with the Los Angeles Lakers, keeping intact most of the roster that won the club's 15th NBA title this summer.

Lakers spokesman John Black confirmed an agreement, but wouldn't discuss specifics. Odom still hasn't signed the deal, but could do so as early as Friday.

The contract, which is expected to contain three guaranteed years and a fourth-year option, maintains the Lakers' core of Kobe Bryant, Pau Gasol, Derek Fisher and Odom alongside new teammate Ron Artest. Odom's return means Los Angeles likely will be favored to win another Western Conference title -- and that's what the 6-foot-10 Odom said he prized most during his eventful few weeks as a free agent.

Odom, a 10-year NBA veteran, proved his determination to win last season when he accepted and thrived in a reserve role for the Lakers, averaging 12.3 points and 9.1 rebounds during the postseason.

Odom repeatedly said he preferred to stay with the Lakers, but apparently came close to leaving -- either by choice or necessity. Los Angeles pulled a previous contract offer from the table when Odom was slow to respond to it, and Dwyane Wade heavily lobbied Odom to return to Miami, where they spent one season together.

Like there was ever any question! Actually in the interest of full disclosure I was really worried that Odom would bolt for Miami and that, without him, the Lakers would not be the favorites next season. But crisis averted. Now that the Candy Man is back and Captain Crazy has come to town the Lakers are the clear cut front runners in 2010. I think I'll celebrate with some Skittles, some Mentos and some Colorado Bulldogs!

Don't call him Rainbow Warrior!

Hawaii coach apologizes for gay slur
ESPN.com news services

Hawaii football coach Greg McMackin used a homosexual slur in describing a dance performed by Notre Dame players at a banquet prior to the teams' meeting in the 2008 Hawaii Bowl.

McMackin, speaking Thursday at the Western Athletic Conference media day in Salt Lake City, said each team came together for a cheer, and the Fighting Irish did a "little f----- dance" for Hawaii. The Warriors then performed a shaka, which is a traditional Hawaiian greeting gesture.

After using the slur, McMackin asked media in attendance not to report on it, then made a fumbling attempt at an apology. After departing the interview room, he later returned to apologize to reporters.

"I want to officially, officially apologize," the coach said, according to reports. "Please don't write that statement I said as far as Notre Dame. The reason is, I don't care about Notre Dame. But I'm not a ... I don't want to come out and have every homosexual ticked off at me. You know what I mean. Because I don't have any problem with homosexuals. But I apologize for saying that and I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't run that word.

"If you said dance, that's OK. But don't use the bad term that I chose, please. Thank you."

At the urging of conference officials, McMackin then made a more formal apology, and the university released a statement Thursday afternoon in which McMackin said, "I sincerely apologize for the inappropriate words that I used. My comments were out of character and I have no prejudices against anyone. I'm really upset with myself and I'm truly sorry for my remarks.

"I'd also like to add that I have nothing but respect for the University of Notre Dame. It's a fine institution with a proud football tradition."

Oh, man. This is quite a bummer. I came to admire Coach McMackin quite a deal during the 2002 football season. He, a veteran defensive coordinator, was nice enough to make time for a lowly student reporter, your's truly. One time I interviewed him in his office and I forgot to unzip my backpack but he zipped it for me. Come to think of it, the moment was a bit gay.

So I am asking everyone as a favor to take it easy on my boy McMackin. He's an old school guy and back then they called guys like Jimmy Clausen 'fag'. The term metrosexual hadn't been invented yet. Also, how homophobic could he possibly be? When he was the DC at Miami he coached this flamer.

NCAA Football Top 25 Countdown - #11 Oregon

#11 - Oregon

Chip Kelly gets his start in the Pac 10 this season after taking over for Mike Belotti. After last season's musical chairs at QB Jeremiah Masoli should settle in as the full-time starter this season and factor back LeGarette Blount is a punisher running the football.Merrill Hoge has him as the #1 pick in next year's Draft.

The defense sustained some losses after last season, most notably DB Patrick Chung who was drafted by the Patriots, but six starters return in a conference where 'D' is not key.

And of course they got new uniforms! God they will whore themselves to Nike in ways that are just unimaginable.

ESPN giving the Big 12 South love

I've got to say I've always thought the Worldwide Leader was a shill for the SEC but it looks like the tables might be turning in the Big 12's favor this season. With Taylor Potts and Robert Griffin getting some love in this video it looks like the Big 12 is pretty well represented on ESPN or at least the North is. I'm sure it wouldn't kill them to show a few Ndamakong Suh highlights but at least he found his way onto their 2009 Football collage photo.

On this day in...

On this day in...
30 BC – Battle of Alexandria: Mark Antony achieves a minor victory over Octavian's forces, but most of his army subsequently deserts, leading to his suicide.
1588 – The Spanish Armada is spotted off the coast of England.
1945 – John K. Giles attempts to escape from Alcatraz prison.
1961 – At Fenway Park in Boston, Massachusetts, the first All-Star Game tie in major league baseball history occurs when the game is stopped in the 9th inning because of rain.
1981 – 42-day strike of Major League Baseball ends in the United States.
2008 – Manny Ramirez is traded from the Boston Red Sox, in a three way trade with the Pittsburgh Pirates and the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Births
1956 – Bill Callahan, American football coach
1958 – Mark Cuban, American businessman and basketball team owner
1962 – Wesley Snipes, American actor
1965 – John Laurinaitis, American professional wrestler
1965 – J. K. Rowling, British writer
1980 – Harry Potter, Fictional character from the Harry Potter book series

So let me get thirs stright. J.K. Rowling gave Harry Potter the same birthday as herself? Egotistical. J.K. Rowling is a woman correct? I honestly have no idea. I have no interest in those films.

There's nothing better than a game at Wrigley...a football game

Teams in discussion with Cubs for game
Associated Press

CHICAGO -- Illinois and Northwestern are talking about moving their annual Big Ten football game to Wrigley Field.

Northwestern spokesman Mike Wolf says the schools have talked several times with the Chicago Cubs, most recently last weekend.

Wolf says the schools have a lot of details to work out, among them the financial arrangements and logistics of turning Wrigley's surface into a football field. But Northwestern coach Pat Fitzgerald and Illinois' Ron Zook like the idea.

"It might be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for our young men," Fitzgerald said. "Do I want to leave Ryan Field? No. No way. I'm a huge Blackhawks fan, and to see what the Winter Classic did, to turn a regular-season game into a bowl game would be an unbelievable opportunity for our young men and our fans."

The Blackhawks played Detroit in the Winter Classic on New Year's Day, but the old ballpark has a long football history. The Chicago Bears called Wrigley home through 1970.

Wolf says the soonest a game could be played there would be late in the 2010 season.

With football season quickly approaching I thought it would be a good idea to check in on my new second favorite team Northwestern. It seems the Cats are trying to schedule a game at Wrigley Field and the Illini look like the most likely opponents.

I'm super jazzed about it by the way. When I read the old accounts of football being played at Yankee Stadium or the Polo Grounds I start to think I must have really missed out. Plus, baseball stadiums are the most historic and cool aesthetically. Its just unfortunate for me that I hate baseball. So this seems like I'd get the best of both worlds. Count me in for 2010. I'm going to that game.

The Top 5 (Rap Songs)

It's the conclusion of The BYB Top 5. It's been a fun ride and with the comments I've received I'll have another one next week. Let's finish it off with yet another Death Row song near and dear to my heart, Regulate.

Regulate was the title track for the movie 'Above The Rim' which was a pretty big occurence for Death Row because that's where the relationship between 2pac and Snoop formed. That ended up being pretty profitable.

I've always been a huge fan of Nate Dogg so this is kind of a non brainer. I used to be able to rap the entire song, which is something my brother's friends used to make me do at parties.

WARNING. NSFW. EXPLICIT LYRICS.

No ho in Romo's home

Romo bans Jessica from home
New York Daily News

And stay out! Two weeks ago, Tony Romo dumped Jessica Simpson -- the day before her 29th birthday -- leaving her to cancel the party she had planned. But to add insult to injury, the Dallas Cowboys quarterback has now banned Simpson from his Dallas home, Usmagazine.com reports. The bold move was made official in a sign on the entrance: "RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS." Ouch.

I guess I'm a bit confused here. Does he have a sign on his front door that says this or is he like in some kind of gated community where this sign is now hung? The second option has to be pretty humiliating. You'd think if there was a watchmen he could have just been told not to let her in but maybe Jessica is like a puppy and you have to rub her nose in it. You can't have your crazy ex around when you're trying to get down with the 99 Nines.

The new Tony & Jessica

Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush Call It Quits
People.com

Kim Kardashian and her boyfriend of two years, New Orleans Saints running back Reggie Bush, are going their separate ways, the reality star's rep confirms to PEOPLE.

The pair, who recently returned from a charity trip to Africa with Kardashian's sister Khloe, just last May talked about "heading" toward marriage, but sources tell PEOPLE their relationship suffered from the time they spent apart – with yet another separation looming with the upcoming NFL season.

"They never get to see each other, ever," the source says. "It's been a long time coming. They still love each other and are part of their lives, but Reggie spends six months out of the year in New Orleans, so it's tough."

Kardashian, 28, the star of Keeping Up with the Kardashians, had been dating Bush, 24, since 2007. The couple were seen as the perfect Hollywood pair, stepping out on red carpets and posing for a GQ spread together.

"They were the cutest couple," another source tells PEOPLE. "They loved each other so much but they hardly saw each other. He starts his football training camp this week and she starts filming Keeping up with the Kardashians this week. They just need a break right now."

Good move on Reggie's part. Its bad enough she had a sex tape with Brandy's no-talent brother but then she gave that awful interview on Tyra where she said she made Reggie go buy her tampons. How you gonna get any respect for the veterans with that stuff going on? I'm sure Reggie will have fun with the 99 Nines even if he is rusty in the dating game. Hell, if its too much trouble he could just get USC to buy him some girls. I'm sure they have some sort of fund for that. O.J. Mayo would know.

Meth and pro wrestling don't mix

Police: Dunstable man beat guests after watching WWE
By Lisa Redmond, lredmond@lowellsun.com

AYER -- Call it WWE rage.

A 35-year-old Dunstable man is facing assault charges after he allegedly beat two of his guests severely after watching World Wrestling Entertainment on pay-per-view.

In Ayer District Court yesterday, a burly Charles Osborne, of 442 River St., Dunstable, was released on personal recognizance after pleading innocent to assault to murder and assault and battery in connection with an incident at his home on July 15. Judge Michael Brooks ordered Osborne, who appeared in court in a suit and tie, to stay away and have no contact with the victims in this case and possess no firearms.

A probable-cause hearing is scheduled for Sept. 18.

According to court documents, Nicole Chhouy, 36, and her friends Robert Hannon, 33, and Matthew Klays, 32, arrived at the Dunstable Police Department early in the morning of July 15 to report an assault. Chhouy was uninjured, but Klays complained of pain to his right knee and Hannon was bleeding from his face and nose.

The three told police they had been at Osborne's house watching World Wrestling Entertainment on pay-per-view TV. At one point, Hannon was sitting at the kitchen table when an unidentified bald man came up and punched him in the neck. At that point, the three friends left the house, but later returned, calling ahead to say they were coming to retrieve a cell phone that Chhouy had left behind.

As Hannon stayed in the car, Chhouy and Klays went to the front door. As Osborne's wife, Heather, handed Chhouy her phone, Osborne allegedly rushed out and pushed Klays to the ground. Worried that things were taking so long, Hannon approached the front door. As he did, Osborne allegedly punched him in the face and pushed him to the ground, then struck him in the face with a knee.
"Klays stated that he thought that Osborne was acting out (what they had seen) on WWE,'' police said in court documents.

As Chhouy and Heather Osborne yelled at Osborne to stop punching Hannon, Klays tried to pull Osborne off his friend. The group separated, and the three friends went to the Dunstable police and then were transported to Lowell General Hospital. Hannon was treated for multiple fractures.

Hey, don't be expect me to be all high and mighty here. Who hasn't wanted to try out a few snap suplexes and camel clutches after watching a good PPV. But I never have. Probably because I'm not on meth. Apparently everyone over the age of 8 who watches pro wrestling and is not named Kyle or Kelsey does. Everyone has their shameful secret I guess. I just have about 10 of them.

F My Life Moment of the Day

Today, it was a pretty nice day so I decided I would take a walk through the park to get to work instead of driving. Healthier and better for the planet, right? Wrong. Some little bratty kids were bored apparently and decided to hide behind trees and peg me with water balloons. FML

Today, I had a job interview, but I arrived kind of late. I was in so much of a hurry that I hit a woman walking by in the face with the door. I offered to drive her to the hospital. Turns out that she was going to be interviewing me. She didn't offer to reschedule. FML

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day

(858): I'll start drinking again when I know where I am

(303): then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins

I've been saved! By the bell that is.

The People Magazine Cover We've All Been Waiting For!
DListed.com

YES!!! I'm so excited....I'm so excited....I'm so....ooold. Yes, this People Magazine cover starring the cast of Saved By The Bell reminds me that I will soon be spending my days licking on Werther's Originals and talking to my Pantyhose Dolls in the retirement home, but who cares?! This is what all magazine covers should look like! The best part is that People used the "U DON'T EXIST" Photoshop tool to erase Screech from the 1989 cast photo.

Now if only there was a Photoshop tool to erase the images from his (NSFW) sex tape from my brain. Screech ruined Dirty Sanchezes for me.

Thanks to Muench for passing this along. I can finally sleep with a sense of fufillment tonight. I may not have accomplished anything important but at least I lived to see 82 1/2% of the 'Saved By the Bell Cast' reunite. I'm almost glad Screech wasn't there. I'd rather give a gorilla a rub and tug with a handfull of icy hot than look at him.

I'm totally rocking out my "I'm so excited. I'm so Scared" shirt this weekend. Who knows? Maybe I'll find some chick really into the Bell and I'll get me some action. Probably not though. It's much more likely I'll find a girl into Taco Bell rather than Saved By the Bell.'

P.S. - I guess the cast reunion on Jimmy Fallon is still one person short as Tiffany Amber Thiessen is a no-go. Here's her explanation.

Tiffani Thiessen is Busy from Tiffani Thiessen

NCAA Football Top 25 Countdown - #12 Nebraska

#12 - Nebraska

Here comes the homer pick!

The Huskers will restore the order of the Big 12 North this year behind a vastly improved defense led by future NFL stud Ndamokong Suh and a veteran DB corps. The Huskers are young and inexperienced at QB/WR but a solid line and talented RBs should lead the way for a strong season. GO BIG RED!

Those pants are practially see through!

I figured since its Nebraska's day in the NCAA Top 25 Countdown it would be a good time to bash Mizzou. First I didn't rank them in the Top 25 and now I'm posting a video that insinuates that their all-time leading passer has an infatuation with Colt McCoy's ass. Take that Tigers!

On this day in...

On this day in...
762 – Baghdad is founded.
1629 – An earthquake in Naples, Italy kills 10,000 people.
1729 – Baltimore, Maryland is founded.
1733 – The first Masonic Grand Lodge in the future United States is constituted in Massachusetts.
1956 – A joint resolution of the U.S. Congress is signed by President Dwight D. Eisenhower, authorizing "In God We Trust" as the U.S. national motto.
1965 – US President Lyndon B. Johnson signs the Social Security Act of 1965 into law, establishing Medicare and Medicaid.
1974 – Watergate Scandal: US President Richard M. Nixon releases subpoenaed White House recordings after being ordered to do so by the United States Supreme Court.
1975 – Jimmy Hoffa disappears from the parking lot of the Machus Red Fox restaurant in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, a suburb of Detroit, at about 2:30 p.m. He is never seen or heard from again.

Births
1818 – Emily Brontë, English novelist (d. 1848)
1863 – Henry Ford, American industrialist (d. 1947)
1963 – Lisa Kudrow, American actress
1963 – Chris Mullin, American basketball player
1964 – Vivica A. Fox, American actress
1971 – Tom Green, Canadian comedian and actor
1971 – Christine Taylor, American actress
1974 – Hilary Swank, American actress
1977 – Jaime Pressly, American actress

Now, that's a day. Social Security, Watergate tapes and Jimmy Hoffa's disapperance all in the same day. I've actually heard Jimmy Hoffa is alive and well in Detroit. He's a big Lions fan. Of course noone has ever seen him because noone would watch the Lions.

And how about the attractive women? Christine Taylor, Vivica Fox and Jamie Pressly born on the same day. How could someone as ugly as Chris Mullin be born today?

The Real American Is Real Single

Hulk Hogan, Wife Settle Divorce
Us Magazine

Hulk Hogan and his wife have finally reached a settlement in their divorce case.

At a brief hearing Tuesday morning in Clearwater, Fla., Hogan, 55, and his wife Linda announced that they've agreed to the terms of the split.

"We've reached a marital settlement agreement," Ray Rafool, Linda's attorney, told the judge.

In a statement to Usmagazine.com, Hogan's rep says, "Hulk is looking forward to moving on with his life and is very hopeful that he and Linda can maintain a friendship and work together as parents to their two children."

Look back at Hollywood's ugliest splits

The terms were not made public. (In 2008 court filings, the couple's net worth was listed at between $26 million and $32 million.)

Before the proceedings began, Hulk, whose real name is Terry Bollea, and Linda were spotted smiling, according to a local ABC affiliate. At one point, she even kissed his cheek.

"The war is over," Linda said after the hearing.

I'm glad to see Hulk has finally crossed the finish line on this crazy race. He hadn't faced a challenge this tough since Earthquake broke his ribs on The Brother Love Show in 1990. This story really serves as a cautionary tale that money and fame makes people act nutty.

The Hulkster had to be a decent, humble guy at some point in his life but the fame of his character made him an egotistical nut. And his family held themselves pretty well in check until the TV show came out and they got famous. As always, hindsight is 20/20 but doing that reality show was a really bad idea. He should have just come back to wrestling.

The Big Uninvited Guest

Shaq Denied Entrance to White House
Washington Post

Shaq demonstrates The Claw.So last week on The Mike Wise Show, Shaquille O'Neal posed one of the timeless questions of our era: If I show up, unannounced, at the White House, could I get in?

Turns out this was no idle speculation. It was an actual bet, between Shaq and one of his handlers, with the loser owing the winner 1,000 push-ups. Even as bloggers were wondering which celebrities might have the clout to manage that feat, Shaq laid out the guidelines Monday night at Verizon Center, while prepping for his turn as guest host of WWE's RAW.

"The rule was I couldn't use any of my political connections," he explained. "Couldn't show a badge. I couldn't call anybody, because I've got a couple of best friends that work for the Secret Service. So that was the rule. They took my phone away, I jumped in a cab, went up there, and the guy wouldn't let me in."

Just a straight-up no, then?

"I went to the gate," he said. "They were nice. They said, 'Shaq, we can't do it.' I said, 'I understand.' Understood."

And he didn't try to argue his way in?


"Never that," he said. "Never that. No way."

(This was, of course, a slightly different tone than on his Twitter feed, where he responded to rejection with this: "The white house wouldn't let me in, whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.")

I'm not too sure I want to live in a world where Shaq Diesel can't go whereever he wants. I understand we have secuirty concerns in this country but if celebrities and athletes don't deserve special treatment then who does? Next you're going to start telling me these people have to pay taxes too.

Also, the Diesel was the guest host of Raw this week. He was witty and a shade homoerotic which I always find to be the key mixture for pure comedy.

The Top 5 (Rap Songs)

The BYB Top 5 continues. Why five? Because the man would never give me 10. Today we have another Death Row song that I love, Dr. Dre's 'Nuthin But A G Thang.'

This song is the headliner, the big kahuna. 'The Chronic' is arguably one of the Top 5 rap albums of all-time and this song was the headliner.

WARNING. NSFW. EXPLICIT LYRICS.

You stabbed me. What's that all aboot?

Woman charged after potato peeler stabbing
By THE CANADIAN PRESS

VANCOUVER, B.C. - Packing a potato peeler has landed a Vancouver woman in the stew.

Charges of assault and assault with a weapon have been laid against 25-year-old Yurub Mohammed Arte following an incident early Monday morning outside a Vancouver nightclub.

Police say they were called to the Republic Nightclub at around 2 a.m. after reports a 20-year-old woman had been stabbed in the ear with a potato peeler.

Nightclub staff were holding a suspect by the time police arrived.

The victim is recovering from minor injuries but needed hospital treatment for a slight wound to her ear.

She also suffered a bite wound to her chest.

I was a bit surprised to see this story rattle out of the Great White North. Potato peeler stabbings are much more common in Ireland. It's actually the number three weapon there behind knife and whiskey bottle. Meanwhile, a potato peeler isn't even in the Top 10 weapons in Canada where hockey skate has long reigned as the top weapon.

On a serious note what kind of heinous skank of a woman stabs someone in the ear? I can think of worse places to get stabbed but not many.

No occifer I haven't been drinking. I got the swine flu.

Accused drunk driver blames swine flu
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A New Zealand woman had a novel defence when she appeared in court on a drunk-driving charge: It was swine flu's fault.

Business manager Deborah Karen Graham sought clemency for the charge in the southern city of Queenstown on Monday, saying the three glasses of wine she had consumed were more potent because she was recovering from the virus.

"She had swine flu. She was just getting over it ... and she thinks because she had the flu it may have hit her harder," said Graham's defence counsel Nicole Murphy.

Judge Kevin Phillips was having none of it.

"Swine flu seems to be the 'in' submission for everything at the moment. I reject all that," he said, fining Graham $360 and disqualifying her from driving for six months.

Well this judge can just take a long walk off a short pier. He's ruining quite possibly the best excuse since "the Jews did it." I'm going to start wearing this one out like some 85 wranglers. What, I forgot to write a press release. Swine flu, boom! Now if I can just find me a shifty ass doctor to diagnose me I'll be in business. Or if I want to go legit I can always just kiss McIntosh. He's a carrier of epic proportions.

F My Life Moment of the Day

Today, while in the middle of having sex with my husband, instead of saying something sexy in my ear, he whispered,"We are so gonna make pizza after this!" FML

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day

(812): just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"

(314): so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

(201): i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.

NCAA Football Top 25 Countdown - #13 Ole Miss

#13 - Ole Miss
Houston Nutt has rebounded stronly since being tossed out of Arkansas. It helps to have a good defense and a QB like Jevan Snead. Ole Miss is the hot pick of 09 after beating Tech up in the Cotton Bowl. They have a lot of talent returning with Snead and RB/WR Dexter McCluster but losses on defense may slow them down. DE Greg Hardy does return and will be depended on to lead the rebels 'D'

On this day in...

On this day in...
1830 – Abdication of Charles X of France.
1848 – Irish Potato Famine: Tipperary Revolt – in Tipperary, an unsuccessful nationalist revolt against British rule is put down by police.
1921 – Adolf Hitler becomes leader of the National Socialist German Workers Party.
1948 – Olympic Games: The Games of the XIV Olympiad – after a hiatus of 12 years caused by World War II, the first Summer Olympics to be held since the 1936 Summer Olympics in Berlin opened in London.
1966 – Bob Dylan is injured in a motorcycle accident near Woodstock, New York.
1976 – In New York City, the "Son of Sam" kills one person and seriously wounds another in the first of a series of attacks.
1981 – Marriage of Prince Charles to Lady Diana Spencer.

Births
1933 – Lou Albano, American pro wrestling manager
1936 – Elizabeth Dole, U.S. Senator from North Carolina
1953 – Ken Burns, American producer and director
1956 – Teddy Atlas, American boxing trainer and commentator
1974 – Afroman, American rapper

Pretty interesting day overall. Hitler takes over the Nazis, the Son of Sam starts his killing spree and Lady Di gets married. That's some history. Plus Afroman was born. His music was a staple of the first 27th Street House.

CAUTION. NSFW. EXPLICIT LYRICS.

The Top 5 (Rap Songs)

Today the BYB Top 5 continues with a rare non-Death Row selection, Notorious BIG's 'Juicy'.

BIG is easily one of the top 2 rappers of all-time. 2pac being the other and this song happens to be my fave. Its mostly the lyrics. I just dig it.

WARNING. NSFW. EXPLICIT LYRICS.

HBO loves the gays

Study: HBO leads on TV in showing gay characters
AP

NEW YORK – HBO scored highest among 15 networks for its representation of gay characters last season, according to a report released Monday.

In its third annual Network Responsibility Index, the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation found that of HBO's 14 original prime-time series, 10 included content reflecting the lives of gay, bisexual and transgender people. That totaled 42 percent of the network's programming hours, in series such as "True Blood," "Entourage" and "The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency."

By contrast, on NBC and CBS only 8 percent and 5 percent, respectively, of prime-time hours included them, the report said.

For the report, GLAAD reviewed all prime-time programming — totaling 4,901 hours — for inclusion of such characters or issues on the five major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, Fox and the CW) from June 1, 2008, to May 31, 2009. The study also examined all original prime-time programming — 1,213 hours — on 10 prominent cable networks. The programming included dramas, comedies, unscripted fare and newsmagazines.

Cable's Showtime ranked second, with 26 percent of its programming hours featuring gay characters or themes. Series included "The L Word," "Weeds" and "The United States of Tara," a new comedy about a family whose teenage son is gay.

ABC got the highest ranking of the five broadcast networks, with 24 percent. It was the second year in a row that ABC led the broadcasters.

Among ABC series, the report cited newlyweds Kevin and Scotty on "Brothers & Sisters," the engagement of Andrew to Dr. Alex Cominis on "Desperate Housewives" and bisexual Dr. Callie Torres on "Grey's Anatomy."

The CW logged 20 percent, and the Fox network 11 percent, the report said.

My question is, are these rankings only for sitcoms or does NBC get to count Jimmy Fallon? At the end of the day gays should probably be better represented on TV but we've come a long way from Jack Tripper trying to pretend to be gay. Although he did a much better job in 'Slingblade.' It all got me thinking who is my favorite gay TV character? I think I'm going to have to go Oscar from 'The Office.'

Panther Party

Penn St. takes top party school title in survey
By GENARO ARMAS, Associated Press Writer

STATE COLLEGE, Pa. – Penn State University is now the nation's No. 1 party school.

The school known partly for its football tailgate weekends and fraternity and sorority scene snatched the title away from the University of Florida in the 2009 Princeton Review survey of 122,000 students nationwide. Florida, last year's winner, finished second in the annual survey released Monday.

It's the first time Penn State has finished first in the dubious category. The school has been on the list the last seven years and ranked third in 2008. The listing covers Penn State's main University Park campus in State College.

"These rankings are not more than popularity contests," said university spokeswoman Annemarie Mountz. She noted that groups on the social networking site Facebook have urged members to make Penn State the top party school.

"It's a badge of honor at this point. Nationwide, kids want to pump their schools in these surveys," Mountz said. "It's not connected to reality."

The rankings were part of the Princeton Review's "The Best 371 Colleges" annual guide. On average, there were 325 respondents to the survey per school, which Mountz said amounted to less than 1 percent of the University Park campus' enrollment of 43,000 students.

Penn State also finished first in the categories "lots of beer" and students who pack the stadium. Beaver Stadium is one of the country's largest sports facility, seating more than 107,000 for football games.

After Penn State and Florida, the top five institutions on the party schools list were the University of Mississippi, the University of Georgia, and Ohio University-Athens.

I've always wanted Tech to rank a little higher in these lists because I always had a really good time there but it's probably never going to happen. Tech is really more a drinking school than a party school. There's not any big weekends or events where people get drunk in Lubbock. It's just a constant grind of drunken debauchery. I wish they had a Top Degenerate School list.

He's gonna beat The Juice into pulp

O.J. TERRIFIED CELLMATE WILL MURDER HIM
National Enquirer

O.J. Simpson is scared to death his prison cellmate is plotting to kill him, The ENQUIRER has learned exclusively.

In a fit of panic, the fallen football star — who’s serving 9 to 33 years at Nevada’s Lovelock Correctional Center — called a close friend, shouting that the inmate sharing his cell wants to strangle him.

“I’ve never known O.J. to be so scared,” the friend told The ENQUIRER. “He’s terrified of his cellmate. O.J. says the guy is a murderer and a rapist, and he can’t believe prison officials have put such a man in with him.

“The guy in O.J.’s cell has been there for months. O.J. says he has become increasingly menacing.”

O.J. says his cellmate glares at him most of the day. He told his close friend he fears bedtime because “he’s told me he is going to strangle me in my sleep the first chance he gets.”

Simpson’s pal, concerned after talking to O.J., placed a call to prison administrators and was shocked at what he learned.

This goes completely against my previous belief that O.J. would be treated like a god in prison. I thought the other convicts would worship him because he married a white woman and then killed her. Plus, he played football for USC, which is in South Central L.A. I'm thinking O.J. just got a little too soft during his days with the Bills and Hertz Rent-A-Car. Plus his first stint in lockup didn't challenge him because his cellmate was one of the Menendez brothers. Those guys are about as hard as French Stewart.

Bikini Girl sure has hit rock bottom

Bikini-clad woman accused of carjacking
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

SOUTHAVEN, Miss. (AP) — Police in Mississippi say a woman was carjacked by a bikini-clad suspect, who they say later tried to rob an RV dealership.

Southaven Police Chief Tom Long said the 24-year-old suspect approached another woman in her driveway and demanded the car on Thursday. The woman gave up the car without a fight, asking only for time to remove her young children from inside.

Long said the suspect then drove the car to the business, where she told employees she had a gun and demanded money. The employees did not believe the claim and restrained her until officers arrived.

Police said the suspect appeared to be under the influence of drugs or alcohol. She was charged with carjacking and assault.

That's the problem with robbing RV dealerships in a bikini. Nobody is going to buy the "I have a gun" song and dance. I can just imagine how this scenario played out.

Bikini Girl: "Give me all your cash. I've got a gun."
RV Dealer: "Oh yeah, John Dillinger. Where you hiding it?"

At the end of the day you can't blame her too much for the flawed logic. It's hard to have all your sensibilities about you when you're tweeked out of your mind on meth.

Put the Cougar back in the Mellencamp

Jackie Still Thinks He's Gonna Be a Football Star
Sportspickle.com

Jack, the Indiana high school football player who was brought to fame by John Mellencamp’s 1982 hit song “Jack & Diane,” still claims he’s gonna be a football star, despite being 43 years old and out of the game for two decades.

“Mellencamp said it best – ‘oh yeah, life goes on; long after the thrill of livin is gone,’” said Jack. “I’ve definitely done a lot of living since ’82.”

Jack was a 16-year old junior quarterback on his high school team in 1982 when Mellencamp penned the song about him and his girlfriend, Diane. He was set to take over as the starting quarterback in his senior season, 1983, and achieve football greatness.

“Jack had a cannon for an arm,” said Jim Dalrymple, Jack’s high school coach. “His potential was limitless. We expected to win districts with him at the reigns in 1983 and take a run at states. But he just threw it all away.”

Less than six weeks after “Jack & Diane” hit No. 1 on the charts, Jack found out Diane was pregnant.

“Diane was the debutante of the backseat of my car,” said Jack. “Sometimes we’d run off behind a shady tree. I’d dribble off her Bobby Brooks and she’d let me do what I please. Life went on, but spending too much time in the backseat of my car and behind shady trees got her pregnant.”

Rest of story here.

Pretty funny stuff. The whole article just reminded me of Uncle Rico, who was the only redeemable part of that awful movie. Strangely enough I saw Uncle Rico on a 'Dateline: NBC' story one time because he knew some actress in the 80s that got murdered. He was great in that too.

F My Life Moment of the Day

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed my self in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

Today, I went to a funeral for my coworker's father. While there, my dad's cell phone rang and he left to answer it. I turned to my brother and said, "I can't believe he brought his cell phone!" He whispered, "I can't believe he's got coverage. This is a dead zone!" I laughed loudly. At a funeral. FML

Today, I was walking to the pet store to buy a month's worth of fish food for my fish so I wouldn't have to come back for a while. For fish food it was expensive. It was also surprisingly heavy and I had to carry it back to my house. When I got home, I saw my fish floating at the top of its bowl. FML

Texts From Last Nite Moment of the Day

(224): The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

(508): Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here

(703): its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out

NCAA Top 25 Countdown - #14 Florida State

#14 - Florida StateThe players at FSU want to make up for possibly setting Bowden back in the all-time wins race. To bad for the Noles but Penn State should be really good this season. But FSU should give Bowden a good season to go out on this year.

Jimbo Fisher is convinced that Christian Ponder is an NFL talent at QB and I'm willing to buy it. A good line should protect him and the Noles should contend strongly for the ACC title.

Offsides with LSUfreek

So when I was looking up videos for the NCAA Top 25 Countdown I found this LSU fan, LSUfreek, who makes videos and I think his stuff is pretty funny. He's no Carrot Top but I think he does a pretty good job so I'll be throwing these in occassion. Hope you enjoy.

Panhandlin' for a Playoff

He'd Rather Have a Playoff Than a Roof
By Mark Viera/Washington Post Staff Writer

The homeless man walked among U.S. senators. He wore a rumpled pink button-down shirt and dirt-stained khakis and nervously fidgeted with a blue pen, as if he knew he was somewhere he did not belong. In his hands, he held the three-page document that has consumed him for a better part of the year.

"Some call it obsessed," he said. "I call it dedicated."

Room 226 of the Dirksen Senate Office Building provided the setting during a Senate Judiciary subcommittee meeting on June 7. The participants included Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) , the lone panel member for most of the session, and four men who testified for or against the use of the Bowl Championship Series to determine a national champion in college football.

Fans, television pundits and even elected officials have debated the BCS since its inception in 1998. The system has been controversial in part because it relies on computers, not a playoff, to determine who plays for the championship and because some believe it marginalizes teams from smaller conferences.

But very few fans have as much desire for change as Brandon Kennedy, 21, of Cheney, Wash. And there are even fewer who have taken such extreme steps to try to make it happen.

He has drafted a paper, "The Kennedy Proposal," that outlines a new system. He sapped nearly all of his $450 bank account to fly from his home in Washington state to Washington, D.C., and has taken up residence underneath bridges and trees in Georgetown, living homeless for the past 13 weeks as he lobbies for change. He has sent, by his estimate, more than 15,000 e-mails and letters to college athletic conference commissioners, athletic directors and NCAA officials over the past year.

"You just look at history and the things that have been accomplished," Kennedy said. "Everyone's had to go to great lengths to accomplish something that's been great. This really just seems like the only way for me to do it."

I'm trying to admire this guy for taking a stand but he's making it really difficult with his shaky ass logic. I really am impressed that he's willing to go sleep under bridges.

When I graduated in '06 I really wanted to move to Canon Beach, Oregon and just be a bum (work odd jobs, drink on the beach, etc.) but I didn't have the fortitude. Now, me getting drunk where they filmed 'The Goonies' is a far cry from this dude almost getting stabbed under bridges in Crack City but I think the metaphor still works. But I can't see how the college bowl system has inflicted any great ill upon society. It probably just entertained the hell out of us.

On this day in...

On this day in...
1540 – Thomas Cromwell is executed at the order of Henry VIII of England on charges of treason.
1794 – Maximilien Robespierre is executed by guillotine in Paris during the French Revolution.
1868 – The 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States is passed, establishing African-American citizenship and guaranteeing due process of law.
1914 – World War I: Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia after Serbia rejects the conditions of an ultimatum sent by Austria on July 23 following the assassination of Archduke Francis Ferdinand.
1965 – Vietnam War: U.S. President Lyndon B. Johnson announces his order to increase the number of United States troops in South Vietnam from 75,000 to 125,000.
1996 – Kennewick Man, the remains of a prehistoric man, is discovered near Kennewick, Washington.

Births
1943 – Bill Bradley, American basketball player and politician
1945 – Jim Davis, American cartoonist (Garfield)
1951 – Doug Collins, American basketball player and head coach
1954 – Hugo Chávez, President of Venezuela
1964 – Lori Loughlin, American actress (Aunt Becky from Full House)
1969 – Dana White, UFC President
1977 – Manu Ginóbili, Argentine basketball player

A good day for basketball b-days with Bill Bradley, Doug Collins and Manu Manu. Plus its Jim Davis' birthday. I was a Garfield nut when I was a kid. Last year on Halloween I even watched the Garfield Halloween Special and giggled my ass off.

The Top 5 (Rap Songs)

Hope you all enjoyed the debut of the Top 5 yesterday. Let's keep it going with another Death Row song near and dear to my heart, Snoop Doggy Dogg's 'Gz and Hustlas.'

Snoop may have more popular songs but this track epitomized his early style. You know, before Pharrel started making his music and he started trying to sing. His downfall has been tragic.

WARNING. NSFW. EXPLICIT LYRICS.

What an Ice Queen

Palin's "Mad as Hell" Speech
Outgoing Alaska Governor Lashes Out at Media in Resignation Address, But Will It Work in the Long Term?

CBS) In a fiery speech that felt more like a partisan campaign rally than a formal transfer of power, outgoing Alaska Governor Sarah Palin reflected upon her administration's most significant achievements and shared her vision for the country's future. But the address was most notable for Palin's remarkably blunt swipes at her favorite nemesis: the media.

In her nearly 20-minute speech, which directly preceded incoming governor Sean Parnell's swearing in, Palin had only a few words to say about her successor, but she had plenty of advice for journalists.

"You represent what could and should be a respected, honest profession that could and should be a cornerstone of our democracy," she said. "Democracy depends on you, and that is why-that's why our troops are willing to die for you. So how about in honor of the American soldier, you quit makin' things up."

Palin did not elaborate on her accusation, which in borrowing from her former running mate, John McCain, she described as "some straight talk," but the crowd on hand rewarded the line with its heartiest round of applause.

Her now several weeks old public feud with David Letterman over the late-night comedian's failed joke about one of her daughters was apparently still smarting, as she leaned forward into the microphone and added angrily, "One other thing for the media, our new governor has a very nice family, too, so leave his kids alone."

The heated tenor that Palin employed to lash out at the press and others who she said were "hell-bent on tearing down our nation," was the exclamation point on a dramatic turnaround in her relationship with the media, which had once been something close to symbiotic.

I'm not going to get too political because I don't have anything to be bitter about here but I do have an anecdote about Sarah Palin. When I was at my SID Conference in San Antone we had a session with a PR flack who had reperesented President Bush, Alex Rodriguez and the McCain/Palin ticket, amongst other Death Star villain types. This guy has an unenviable job but since he's good at it, he makes more money than Bubba Gump. And honestly his strategy was refreshing. He urges his clients to come clean and then they can frame the discussion. Good advice.

But out of all of his shady clients, Sarah Palin was the only one who would not take his advice. In some ways I feel for her. I don't think she had any idea what she was getting into and the people around McCain who brought her onto the ticket ought to be flogged with a water hose. That said, she doesn't seem to have any reservation about staying in the limelight. And if that's a place she wants to stay then nothing is taboo, not even her family. Much the same way I expect Tim Tebow to be a transparent virtuous virgin, if she wants to be a spokesperson for morality and family values then I reserve the right to criticize her pregnant daughter. I'll chunk my rock right at that glass house.

Roger Goodell has shattered my dreams

NFL Draft to expand to three days
By John Clayton/ESPN.com

The audience for the NFL draft has been growing, and the league has responded by expanding the event from two to three days.

Commissioner Roger Goodell notified teams Thursday that the draft will be spread over three days in 2010, running Thursday, April 22, through Saturday, April 24.

In addition, the first round will start in prime time at 7:30 p.m. ET.

"We continue to look for ways to make the draft more accessible to more fans," Goodell said in a statement. "Moving the first round to prime time on Thursday night will make the first round of the draft available to fans on what is typically the most-watched night of television."

ESPN and the NFL Network will televise the entire show.

The second and third rounds will start at 6:30 p.m. ET on April 23.

Rounds 4 through 7 will be on April 24, starting at 10 a.m. ET.

A total of 39 million viewers watched the draft this year.

The NFL said the first round lasted just under 3½ hours in 2009, which would fit neatly into a prime-time slot.

From 1988 to 1994, the NFL held its draft on Sunday-Monday two-day blocks. From 1995 to 2009, the league made it a Saturday-Sunday event.

This happened last week but I couldnt bring myself to discuss it until now. I love the NFL Draft. It's the only thing that keeps me sports sane in the Spring and Summer. It's like a shining reminder that football season will be here soon. Now Roger Goodell has ruined it much like everything else he's done.

The thrill of the Draft is an all-day drunk fest where we all gather and enjoy football without having to pay close attention. Now we have to do one round a night. How am I supposed to get trashed on Draft Thursday and be expected to make it to work the next day? It's not practical. Goodell really crapped the bed on this one. I might as well take up dogfighting to pass the time that weekend.

IHOP. Not just for cops and methheads anymore.

JESSICA & TONY IHOP BLOWOUT
National Enquirer

Tony Romo was looking for just the right moment to finally kick Jessica Simpson out of his life - and he found it at an International House of Pancakes in the middle of Texas!

Tension between the two reached a boiling point during a three-hour car ride from the home they shared in Dallas to a golf match in Austin just weeks before the final split on July 9.

"They'd argued a lot over the past several months. This time Tony barely said a word," said an insider.

"He suddenly pulled into the parking lot of an IHOP and growled, 'Get out.'

"Jess got out and slammed the door. Before she could say anything, Tony peeled off.

"She ended up crying her eyes out for the next two hours while she waited for someone to come pick her up.

"If she didn't realize it before, she finally got the message that Tony had reached his limit."

As the ENQUIRER previously reported the couple had been fighting bitterly for months but the Dallas Cowboy felt obligated to keep the sham going after receiving a $100K speedboat for his April birthday from Jessica.

But the day before he checked one of her cellphones and found secret text messages from her ex lover doll John Mayer!

Boy to be a fly on the wall at that IHOP eh? You've got America's couple dueling it out in the parking lot and all the while some junkie has peed himself and is screaming about the spacemen taking his shoes. I wish the Enquirer would have specified what town this was in because I'm certainly curious. I'm also curious why they wouldn't just fly to Austin but I guess the thrill of road head was preferable to the Mile High Club for Mr. Tony.

Winner, Winner. Jailhouse Chicken Winner

Think twice before playing the lottery
By Tamsyn Burgmann, THE CANADIAN PRESS

TORONTO - Feeling lucky, punk?

An Ontario lottery player's windfall - then downfall - earlier this week is an ironic reminder that for those with something to hide, going for the big win just might not be worth the gamble.

Barry Shell, of Brampton, Ont., had a cheque for $4.4 million in hand and mugged for the money shot Monday before being swiftly carted off to jail on outstanding criminal charges.

The skeletons came tumbling out of Shell's closet on account of the simplest of reasons - he failed to provide the Ontario Lottery and Gaming Corp. with proper ID during the routine processing of his winning ticket. An arrest warrant had been issued in 2003 after he didn't show up for a court date.

Gutters and strikes eh? This is one of the all-time biggest mixed bags of all-time. You win $4 million but you have to go to prison. I guess it was worth it to turn himself in. Sure, he has to do some hard time but at least he'll be rich when he get out. The only bad part could be the other inmates finding out. Then they'll probably threaten to rape him if he doesn't pay them when they get out. There's nothing that'll put the knife to your throat figuratively like a shiv to your throat literally.