Today, I went to a camp my friend invited me to, thinking we'd just be roasting marshmallows all day and hanging out outside. Nope. It was a soul searching, get closer to Jesus camp. The first five hours were spent repeatedly praying and singing. I'm not a Christian. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML
Today, I did something clever at work and I was telling one of the other girls about it. I said "Just using my noodle" and went to tap my temple but instead I jabbed myself in the eye. FML
Police say Georgia mom forced son to kill hamster AP
WARM SPRINGS, Ga. – A Georgia woman is in jail after police say she forced her son to kill his pet hamster with a hammer as punishment for bad grades.
The sheriff of rural Meriwether County told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution Thursday that the 12-year-old boy told his teacher about the killing. The teacher reported it to the Division of Family and Child Services, who contacted police.
Sheriff Steve Whitlock said 38-year-old Lynn Middlebrooks Geter of Warm Springs faces one charge each of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.
The sheriff's office said she remained in the Meriwether County jail early Friday. It was not immediately known if she had a lawyer.
It's tough being a parents these days. Nothing seems to work with this new generation, whether it be violent methods like spanking or non violent results like time outs. So sometimes you have to get creative and force your kid to kill his hamster with a hammer. It might seem "cruel" or "unusual" now but when this kid is walking in the Quad at Harvard he'll be glad his mom made him take the roofing hammer to Fluffy.
(970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
(260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? -(1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
(770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The FBI is investigating death threats against former "Chaci" Scott Baio for posting an unflattering picture of Michelle Obama online.
The Happy Days and Joanie Loves Chachi star ignited a sh*tstorm of controversy when he posted an unflattering picture of Michelle Obama on Twitter.
Baio captioned the pic with: "Wow. He wakes up to THIS every morning."
The off-handed remark drew the incensed wrath of Baio's followers.
Baio finally Tweeted, "People need to relax and laugh a bit. Life is too short no matter what party you are with. A joke is just that, a joke."
The star insists the reaction to his gag escalated into venomous comments, and he says many messages he received now became threatening.
"Please Note: The FBI has been contacted & we have a file number for the threats, along with Twitter support. Thx (thanks)." Baio, an often outspoken Republican, responded to the online H8ers.
Let em get this straight. The assembled crew of FOX News has called Obama everything from a celbrity to a racist to a radical, terrorist loving Muslim and they get off free from scorn but poor Chachi calls Mrs. Obama ugly and he gets death threats. I've always thought Scott Baio was a bit douchy and finding out he's an "outspoken" Republic isn't doing much to endear him to me but I don't think calling the President's wife ugly is an unspeakable offense.
Not to mention Michelle Obama probably isn't sweating this too much. While she might not be as hot as some of the skanks Baio knocked down during the 'Charles in Charge' days, she's still pretty saucy! Plus she's got bigger guns than Gilbert Arenas.
On this day in... 1845 – "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe is published in the New York Evening Mirror. 1850 – Henry Clay introduces the Compromise of 1850 to the U.S. Congress. 1861 – Kansas is admitted as the 34th U.S. state. 1900 – The American League is organized in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with 8 founding teams. 1936 – The first inductees into the Baseball Hall of Fame are announced. 1963 – The first inductees into the Pro Football Hall of Fame are announced. 2002 – In his State of the Union Address, President George W. Bush describes "regimes that sponsor terror" as an Axis of Evil, in which he includes Iraq, Iran and North Korea.
Births 1843 – William McKinley, 25th President of the United States (d. 1901) 1880 – W.C. Fields, American actor (d. 1946) 1918 – John Forsythe, American actor 1945 – Tom Selleck, American actor, screenwriter and film producer 1954 – Oprah Winfrey, American talk show host and actress 1963 – Bob Holly, American professional wrestler 1964 – Andre Reed, American football player
Its a low quantity, high quality day in the Birthday World today with some old actors, a dead prez, Hardcore Holly (aka Thurman "Sparky" Plug) and one of my favorite wide receivers. But I'm highlighting America's favorite lady Oprah today. Here's a great Oprah themed sketch from 'Chappelle's Show.'
This video is the perfect example of dry British wit. The Brits tried their hands at the Rick Roll and instead of going traditional they tricked a British tele-evangelist to read the lyrics on the air. Brilliant burn and sophisticated. But I'm still not sure it beats a good ole traditional Rick Roll and with April Fools coming up I can't wait. Here's a news reporter getting Rick Roll'd last year.
Michael Jackson Filipino Inmates Strike Again TMZ.com
With all the time in the world on their hands, the inmates of Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center in the Philippines have learned another Michael Jackson routine ... with some help.
Jackson's long-time choreographer Travis Payne, with dancers Daniel Celebre and Dres Reid, taught the inmates routines from "This Is It."
It's just how Michael would have wanted it.
Is there something I'm just not getting about Philipinos and their prisons? Do Philipinos really like dancing this much or are they being forced to do this sort of thing? I can only hope they're being forced to dance for my amusement. If so I think the U.S. should definitely institute this type of prison policy. No more license plate making and highway cleanup. From now on its all dancing and cage fighting. Now grab a weapon and get in the Terror Dome while your cellmates do the Macarena.
Burger King adding beer to combo By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
MIAMI BEACH, Fla. - Burger King is opening a restaurant in Miami Beach that will serve beer along with burgers and fries, the chain’s first U.S. location with alcohol.
At the Whopper Bar South Beach, guests can pair a Whopper sandwich with Anheuser-Busch and MillerCoors brews. With fries, the combo will run $7.99.
The restaurant will offer outdoor dining, a walk-up window and delivery service.
It’s scheduled to open mid-February. The announcement was made Friday.
Morningstar analyst R.J. Hottovy says adding beer at selected locations around the world is part of Miami-based Burger King’s effort to reinvent itself as a fast-food restaurant with a sit-down feel.
I don't know if the whole sit-down fast food idea is going to take off but I'm sure happy that someone in that industry is stepping up and letting me get a brew. You know it will lead to a lot of confusion with drunks trying to order a beer at the drive thru. Inevitably some diralect is going to crawl through the window and try and reach the tap.
But aside from its limitations I still hope Odessa gets one of these places. Right now Odessa's Burger King is famous for being one of the locations targeted by the prank caller claiming to be police who had managers strip search employees.
Today, my grandpa, a married high school teacher, got arrested for having an inappropriate relationship with a female student. Hearing the news, I called my grandma crying. Not only is he most likely going to jail, but in seven months I will have a new aunt who is eighteen years younger than me. FML
Today, my family threw me a surprise party for my 29th Birthday. My brother-in-law sent me a text telling me they were all waiting for me to arrive. Thinking it was at my sister's home, I drove two hours there. It was actually at my parents' house. I missed my party and they ate my cake. FML
The line from Peopleofwalmart.com is way better than anything I could come up with. - I was going to make an argument, but I know Johnnie Cochran wouldn’t even try to attack this expert testimony.
'Jersey Shore' Kids Drive Hard Bargain by TMZ Staff
The "Jersey Shore" kids didn't fall off the pizza delivery truck yesterday -- TMZ has learned they have rejected MTV's salary offer for Season 2.
Sources connected with the negotiation say MTV offered Snooki, Pauly D, "The Situation" and the others each a $10,000 signing bonus and $5,000 an episode.
We're told the cast rejected the offer and made it clear -- they were negotiating "Friends" style ... everyone would get the same amount and it had to be a lot higher than MTV's offer.
Sources say MTV came back and doubled the offer -- $10,000 an episode. The cast hasn't responded to the offer.
It's still a bargain. The season finale of "Jersey Shore" was off the charts with 4.8 million viewers.
And, with some members of "The Hills" scoring north of $100,000 an episode, the "Jersey Shore" kids, frankly, should be holding out for a hell of a lot more than $10k.
We've also learned MTV has a contractual hold on the cast for another year, so technically Snooki and company have no right to renegotiate -- but it's done all the time with hit shows.
An MTV spokesperson would not comment on the negotiations and said the network has not made a decision on bringing the show back for Season 2. We're also told MTV has received thousands of tapes from would-be Guidos and Guidettes.
Let me start off by saying I am not a 'Jersey Shore' viewer. I like to make fun of Italians as much as the next guy but with USA/HBO original programming and sports I don't have room for much more on my plate. That said, you can't swing a dead cat around in this country without hitting a 'Jersey Shore' fan. Its a perfect show because (from what little bits I've seen) even if you hate the people, you'll like the show.
So MTV can just cut the tough guy routine. I understand the network has made a killing cycling in new dumbasses to 'The Real World' year after year but no 'Real World' castmate has made an impact on the same level as these seven wops since Puck and Pedro. If they think they can recreate it then roll the dice. I'm sure there will be plenty of work for these guineas down the road. Or they could all open a roller disco.
Andy Dick charged with felony, shows still on The Herald-Dispatch
HUNTINGTON -- Andy Dick, in town for weekend performances at the Funny Bone, was arrested around 4 a.m. Saturday by Huntington Police on sexual abuse charges.
The 44-year-old comedian appeared before a magistrate early in the afternoon and a spokesman for the club said he expected Dick’s shows Saturday and Sunday to go on as scheduled.
Dick was taken into custody around 4 a.m. after two men accused Dick of groping them at Rum Runners, at 819 3rd Ave. According to a press release issued at 12:26 p.m. Saturday from the Huntington Police Department, officers responded to a call to investigate “two alleged incidents of a patron engaging in non-consensual sexual contact with a bar employee and another patron.”
Tom Schaefer, owner of the Huntington Funny Bone, said he was posting Dick’s $6,000 bail -- 10 percent of the $60,000 bond placed by Magistrate Patty Verbage Spence.
He also said he was with Dick early Saturday morning and disputes what happened at Rum Runners.
“We were at Rum Runners for literally 10 minutes. Nothing happened there except walking through the door and sitting at the bar,” Schaefer said.
Dick has appeared in various movies, starred in MTV's The Andy Dick Show for two years earlier this decade and recently appeared on VH1's "Celebrity Rehab" spin-off "Sober House."
According to Dick's biography and various entertainment reports, this is not his first time having issues while on tour. A July 2008 release from the MTV Newsroom, stated Dick was arrested in California on suspicion of drug possession and sexual battery. He allegedly grabbed and pulled down the tank-top of a 17-year-old girl, exposing her breasts.
It also details several other incidents. However, Dick was never convicted in most of the cases. He is currently serving a three-year probation for a lesser charge of battery in the 2008 incident involving the teenage girl.
Seriously what is it with this guy? I understand he's high off his ass on cocaine but he can't go ahead sharking 17-year-old chicks and grabbing college guy's hogs. A good looking celebrity might not even get away with that. A washed up, skinnier Bruce Vilanch who talks like he's got nipple clamps on the bridge of his nose sure won;t get away with it. And Tom Shaefer from the 'Funny Bone' can just cut BS right there. Ten minutes is long enough for Andy Dick to have had three kamikazes, groped four guys and sang "My Sharona" kareoke. I hope they lock this sicko up.
PORTLAND, Ore. (AP)—Portland Trail Blazers center Greg Oden(notes) is apologizing for nude photos that have surfaced on the internet.
Oden says the pictures, taken with his cell phone and sent to a former girlfriend, were taken about 1 1/2 years ago. A friend told the 21-year-old Tuesday morning that the pictures were making the rounds on the internet.
“I would like to apologize to everybody: Portland, the fans, the organization,” Oden told reporters at the Blazers practice facility. “It was very embarrassing.”
Oden is out for this season after fracturing his left kneecap during a game against the Houston Rockets on Dec. 5. He averaged 11.1 points and 8.5 rebounds in 21 starts.
The 7-foot-center was the No. 1 pick in the 2007 NBA draft out of Ohio State. He missed his rookie season after have microfracture surgery on his right knee.
Well after seeing the photos of Greg Oden's wang (NSFW) I certainly don't feel as bad for him that he may never get to play again. I guess he could always have a job in porn but he'd probably hurt his knee doing that too.
Overall I don't think anyone is too upset with Oden. He just needs to learn he's a famous athlete and noone he knows can be trusted. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned...who also has a picture of your wang.
Arenas, Crittenton suspended for remainder of season AP
NEW YORK (AP) -- NBA commissioner David Stern has suspended Washington Wizards guards Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Crittenton for the remainder of the season for having guns in the locker room.
Saying possession of guns in the workplace "will not be tolerated," Stern delivered the punishment on Wednesday after meeting with Arenas, turning his indefinite suspension into a suspension without pay.
Crittenton met with Stern on Tuesday and also was suspended without pay.
Arenas pleaded guilty on Jan. 15 to a felony gun charge after an alleged confrontation with Crittenton in the Wizards' locker room at Verizon Center in Washington.
Arenas is scheduled to be sentenced on March 26. He's in the second season of a six-year, $111 million contract.
This news was probably to be expected and, for the most part, I don't really care. But I've been listening to a lot of 'The Tony Kornheiser Radio Show' lately and I can't help but get enthralled in the story. Gilbert Arenas seemingly has to be the cockiest, most immature player in the history of the league.
This all stems from what Gilbert calls a "practical joke." Apparently Crittenton owed him $25,000 and the two argued about on a team plane. While Crittenton suggested a fist fight Gilbert said he was too old (28) to fight and said that he would instead "shoot Javaris in the face." One listener to Tony's show found it odd that Gilbert considers himself to be too old to fight but not to old to pull practical jokes, such as crapping in a teammate's shoe.
So after the plane altercation Gilbert brought four guns to the locker room, spread them out in front of Crittenton's locker and scribbled a note that read, "pick one." While this might play as funny in Gilby's circle, Crittenton didn't see the humor and pulled out his own handgun. So both players were in the wrong but who do I side with most? The guy who didn't mockingly fire hand pistols nights later during warmups and the guy who doesn't crap in his teammates shoes.
On this day in... 1547 – Henry VIII dies. His nine year old son, Edward VI becomes King, and the first Protestant ruler of England. 1813 – Pride and Prejudice is first published in the United Kingdom. 1878 – Yale Daily News becomes the first daily college newspaper in the United States. 1909 – United States troops leave Cuba with the exception of Guantanamo Bay Naval Base after being there since the Spanish-American War. 1915 – An act of the U.S. Congress creates the United States Coast Guard. 1964 – A U.S. Air Force jet training plane that strays into East Germany is shot down by Soviet fighters near Erfurt; all 3 crew men are killed. 1985 – Supergroup USA for Africa (United Support of Artists for Africa) records the hit single We Are the World, to help raise funds for Ethiopian famine relief.
Births 1936 – Alan Alda, American actor, writer, and director 1949 – Gregg Popovich, American basketball coach 1955 – Nicolas Sarkozy, President of France 1974 – Magglio Ordóñez, Venezuelan baseball player 1974 – Jermaine Dye, American baseball player 1976 – Mark Madsen, American basketball player 1976 – Rick Ross (rapper), Rapper 1977 – Daunte Culpepper, American football player 1977 – Joey Fatone, American singer (*NSYNC) 1980 – Nick Carter, American singer (Backstreet Boys) 1981 – Elijah Wood, American actor 1984 – Andre Iguodala, American basketball player
Long list of marginal birthdays today with a MASH star, a Miami rapper, a Backstreet Boy and a hobbit. Plus you get two great twofers with two decent baseball players in '74 and two fat guys in '77. But I'll go with goofy former Laker Mark Madsen busting a move at one of the Lakers' parades.
Davis done with 'Big Baby' nickname By Chris Forsberg/ESPNBoston.com
BOSTON -- Declaring himself fit for a change, Glen Davis said before Monday's Boston Celtics game that he's dropping the "Big Baby" moniker and is searching for a new nickname. When a reporter suggested the Chad Ochocinco-like "Uno Uno" to match Davis' No. 11 jersey, he instantly fell in love with it.
"'Uno Uno,'" Davis erupted in delight. "I like that, I like that. I'll be 'Uno Uno,' that's my new name."
Davis, who has had his maturity questioned through a series of events over the past year-plus, including an off-court fight that forced him to miss the first 27 games of the 2009-10 season, and last week's run-in with a fan where he was fined $25,000 for shouting an obscene phrase, is trying to distance himself from all that as he takes the next step in his maturation.
"I've been called 'Big Baby' all through my life," said Davis. "But I'm going through changes. I'm in a cocoon and I'm coming out a different player, a different person. Basically, the new person is growth. I'm shedding that 'Big Baby' and you can see something else, not the past."
Reflecting on the fine from last week, Davis again apologized and was effusive in his praise of the Celtics organization for hanging with him through his troubles, on and off the court. But, while noting he's focusing on the future, he suggested fans send new nickname suggestions to his Twitter page.
When Celtics coach Doc Rivers was informed of the nickname swap a short time later, he rolled his eyes and initially said, "Oh Lord, no comment."
When told it was about Davis trying to change his reputation, Rivers added, "Actions change your image most of the time, but we'll see. That's good though. It's a start, right?"
Why exactly is this a story again? The seventh best player on the Celtics is having some sort of inner turmoil and ESPN feels the need to put that on the news scroll? I know I'm guilty of running useless Lakers stories three times a week but at least I pull those headlines off TMZ and National Enquirer and not the Worldwide Leader.
I think "Big Baby" is just a little embarrassed that his nickname isn't being used to describe his large body and baby face, but instead his crybaby attitude, his griping about how Doc Rivers uses him and his outbursts against fans who have paid for a ticket and can criticize him all they want. I love Doc Rivers' comments about this guy. Actions change ones image, not cheesy suggestions from Twitter and slurping Beantown columnists. So get your fat ass on the court, play hard and stop bitching. Maybe then people will come up with a decent new nickname for you. For now I'll go 'The Sopranos' route and call you "Big Pussy."
Dispute erupts when wife cancels ESPN, cable TV By CHASE WRIGHT/Hour Staff Writer
Police arrested a Norwalk man on Saturday who allegedly threatened his wife at knife-point for canceling ESPN a few weeks before the Super Bowl, a department spokesperson said.
Jerome Smalls, 43, was charged with disorderly conduct and second-degree threatening.
Officers responded to Smalls' home on West Main Street on a call of an armed subject shortly before midnight on Saturday, Norwalk police Sgt. Lisa Cotto said.
At the residence, police interviewed a woman who alleged her husband threatened her with a kitchen knife after he learned that she had recently canceled the family's cable package, Cotto said.
Smalls was most upset for having lost his favorite sports channels, specifically the 24-hour sports network ESPN, she said.
Officers found a flat blade kitchen knife on the bedroom floor, Cotto said.
Smalls admitted to grabbing his wife and screaming at her while their three children were sleeping, but denied ever threatening the woman with a knife, she said.
The wife told police that she canceled her husband's favorite programs because the family could no longer afford it, Cotto said. The husband told officers that he was upset because he believed the luxury of cable was well within the household budget, she said.
I'm a bit confused at what cutting cable and ESPN has to do with the Super Bowl (which is on CBS) but I don't want to give any creedence to this woman's claim that cancelling the cable was reasonable. I'm completely behind Jerome Smalls decision to pull a knife on his wife here.
TV provides a rewarding escape from the harsh realities of the real world. The economy is in the shitter but TV has to be the last thing to go. The kids don't need food. Don't they eat enough at school? In this case Jerome had to send a simple message - cut the cable and I'll cut you. Oddly enough the last time the words "cable," "ESPN," and "domestic dispute" were in the same sentence Oakland's Tom Cable was in the crosshairs.
Thanks for all the great input on the prospective BYB t-shirts yesterday. I have called in an unbiased vote tabulator and we'll be crunching numbers for the next few days. If you haven't made your opinion known thus far please continue to do so. You can hit up the topic in the archives or click here to go directly. You can also hit me up on the BYB Facebook page.
This will all lead up to my summit with the fine folks at Big Nasty Tees next week in Lubbock. Its also kind of ironic that Big Nasty Tees is the official t-shirt provider of the blog when I have had many a run in with a big nasty tease.
Today, I was in a tense tiebreak round to win the local pub quiz. As the quizmaster read out more clues, I got the answer, got up and rushed to be the first team to the bar. I tripped, faceplanted. The whole bar laughed, and then I realized that it wasn't a "fastest to the bar" round. FML
Today, I had a 10 hour drive to Las Vegas with only 2 CDs, Taylor Swift and Jason Mraz, and my girlfriend who thinks she's a good singer. FML
So a lot of people are curious what I do for money. Well, aside from the 27 cents I've made from the side ads, I make my living selling booze to alcoholics and diralects. That's right, I sell the booze that fuels many a domestic dispute in the fine city of Odessa.
In all seriousness its a pretty fun gig, especially when you get to have wacky shenanigans like this. Here's a video of Bajo scaring Andre yesterday in the last battle of the Scare War of 2010. You'll have to fast forward to the 4:10 mark as Bajo is not the editing genious that I'd hoped he be.
NEW YORK -- A national coalition of women's groups called on CBS on Monday to scrap its plan to broadcast an ad during the Super Bowl featuring college football star Tim Tebow and his mother, which critics say is likely to convey an anti-abortion message.
"An ad that uses sports to divide rather than to unite has no place in the biggest national sports event of the year -- an event designed to bring Americans together," said Jemhu Greene, president of the New York-based Women's Media Center.
The center was coordinating the protest with backing from the National Organization for Women, the Feminist Majority and other groups.
CBS said it has approved the script for the 30-second ad and has given no indication that the protest would have an impact. A network spokesman, Dana McClintock, said CBS would ensure that any issue-oriented ad was "appropriate for air."
The ad -- paid for by the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family -- is expected to recount the story of Pam Tebow's pregnancy in 1987 with a theme of "Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life." After getting sick during a mission trip to the Philippines, she ignored a recommendation by doctors to abort her fifth child and gave birth to Tim, who went on to win the 2007 Heisman Trophy while helping his Florida team to two BCS championships.
The controversy over the ad was raised Sunday when Tebow met with reporters in Mobile, Ala., before beginning preparations for next weekend's Senior Bowl.
"I know some people won't agree with it, but I think they can at least respect that I stand up for what I believe," Tebow said. "I've always been very convicted of it [his views on abortion] because that's the reason I'm here, because my mom was a very courageous woman. So any way that I could help, I would do it."
Thirty-second commercials during the Super Bowl are selling for $2.5 million to $2.8 million. Gary Schneeberger, a spokesman for Focus on the Family, said funds for the Tebow ad were donated by a few "very generous friends" and did not come from the group's general fund.
Schneeberger said he and his colleagues "were a little surprised" at the furor over the ad.
"There's nothing political and controversial about it," he said. "When the day arrives, and you sit down to watch the game on TV, those who oppose it will be quite surprised at what the ad is all about."
I could have called this one. Its Step One in the march to the White House for future President Tebow. The country is swept up in a lot of anti-left, anti-Obama furor right now and its the right time for Tebow to make an initial impact in his undeniable ascension up the political ladder. Forget the fact that he's carrying on this dimly lit dream of being an NFL star. He'll make the league and be shifted to h-back within weeks of training camp starting. Then he'll go through the motions for a year or two before he's off to run for Florida State Senate. Then maybe the U.S. House, then Governor of Florida, then President.
As for the ad itself, I'll take Gary Schneeberger's word for it that this won't ruffle too many pro choice feathers. I think the outrage from women's groups is more because the pro lifers are using the biggest TV event of the year to spread part of their message. I just wish Mrs. Tebow realized that while it took great courage and conviction for her to make her decision, there are women on the other side of the issue who have shown great conviction and courage as well.
On this day in... 1785 – The University of Georgia is founded, the first public university in the United States. 1825 – The U.S. Congress approves Indian Territory (in what is present-day Oklahoma), clearing the way for forced relocation of the Eastern Indians on the "Trail of Tears". 1967 – Apollo program: Apollo 1 – Astronauts Gus Grissom, Edward White and Roger Chaffee are killed in a fire during a test of their spacecraft at the Kennedy Space Center. 1973 – The Paris Peace Accords officially end the Vietnam War. Colonel William Nolde is killed in action becoming the conflict's last recorded American combat casualty. 1984 – Pop singer Michael Jackson suffers second and third degree burns to his scalp during the filming of a Pepsi commercial in the Shrine Auditorium.
Births 1756 – Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Austrian composer (d. 1791) 1832 – Lewis Carroll, English author (d. 1898) 1940 – James Cromwell, American actor 1952 – "White Shoes" Johnson, American football player 1959 – Cris Collinsworth, American football player 1971 – Lil Jon, American rapper and producer 1976 – Fred Taylor, American football player
Some pretty decent birthdays today including a famous composer, a white receivers, Lewis Skolnik's dad on 'Revenge of the Nerds,' and the bain of my fantasy football existence, Fred Taylor. But I'm going with rap producer and hype man Lil' John and his apperance on Chappelle's Show.
Students Challenge 'Rowdy House' Stickers WCVB Boston
PROVIDENCE, R.I. -- A decision could come soon in a lawsuit challenging the town of Narragansett's use of orange stickers to mark rowdy houses.
Narragansett police have given out hundreds of the stickers in the last few years to homes that have hosted unruly parties. The beach town is an off-campus hangout for University of Rhode Island students.
Several URI students are suing the town and asking a judge to strike down the ordinance. They say the stickers amount to public humiliation.
But a lawyer for the town says the stickers are a reasonable way to deal with illegal behavior, and that the stigma's not great enough to make the law unconstitutional.
U.S. District Judge William Smith heard arguments on Nov. 17 and said he hoped to issue a written decision within 60 days.
These kids in the story have to be some kind of yuppie asshole kids who have lawyers on retainer or whose fathers are big shot lawyers. I may never have heard of a more scurrilous lawsuit. If the cops in O-Town of the LBK would have punished us with orange stickers instead of harrassment, MIPS and pouring out our beers, I think I would have become a contributor to the Police Athletic League. And these kids sue??? Public humiliation? Sounds more like a Red Badge of Courage to me than a Scarlet Letter.
Is it just me or have the participants on 'Price is Right' gotten ten times crazier since Drew Carey took over. I may have mentioned this before. It seems Bob Barker was the only thing keeping this show from heading into the loony bin. Anywho here's a lady apparently pretending to faint on 'Price is Right.' They definitely need better screeners.
Obama praises Lakers as champs visit White House AFP
WASHINGTON (AFP) – US President and avid basketball fan Barack Obama welcomed the reigning NBA champion Los Angeles Lakers to the White House on Monday, honouring the club for achievements on and off the court.
The Lakers, powered by playmaker Kobe Bryant, defeated Orlando in last year's NBA Finals for their 15th NBA title.
Obama praised the team for individual and group donations to the Haiti earthquake relief effort, noting Spanish star Pau Gasol contributed 20,000 dollars for his 20-point effort against New York.
Obama was especially excited to meet Lakers coach Phil Jackson, who guided Obama's hometown Chicago Bulls to six NBA crowns and the Lakers to four more.
"I've been a fan of coach Jackson's ever since his days running the triangle offense in Chicago," Obama said. "I want to congratulate him on his 10 NBA championship, the most in history. I do want to point out that six of them came with the Bulls."
Obama teased retired Lakers star Magic Johnson about Chicago's 1991 victory over his squad in the NBA Finals, but also singled out the businessman for praise with his work in struggling US inner cities.
"What makes Magic special wasn't just how he played on the court, but also just the infectious enthusiasm about life and what he's doing with businesses and minority communities," Obama said.
Obama called Bryant "one of the most competitive players I've ever seen" after shrugging off a broken finger to lead the championship run.
"If I had a broken finger I would have trouble getting out of bed and he's still leading the team day in and day out," Obama said.
As we all know from the massive election coverage last year President Obama is a huge basketball fan so I can only guess it was a magical moment getting to meet the Lakers. Sure, he's hob knobbed with world leaders and the rich and powerful but you haven't made it until you've met Ron Artest.
I've always wondered why the President has the championship teams to the White House. Is it that much of a thrill for the multi millionaires? I can see why its cool for college champions but but if I had my choice between going to the White House or making the Playboy All American team, I'm pretty sure I'd be rolling up on Hef's lawn.
P.S. - Wouldn't it have been funny if Obama spilled the beans and said that "Magic's great service to the minority community is why we gave him the cure for AIDS."
So I've been mocking up a few potential shirts for the Blog and I need some input. The idea here is to pick the 1-2 most popular shirts and I'll start hocking these things so I can make a little cash off this thing. Unlike Fred Durst I don't do it all for the nookie.
So leave a comment and let me know which one or two you like best. I know the Comments section is a pain in the ass so just comment as anonymous and you can sign your name below (or not). You can also email your choice to backyardblogger@yahoo.com or you can post it on the Facebook page. Then I can get my boys at Big Nasty Tees to throw some of these together and the Yard Dogs can start showing some love.
Also, keep in mind the colors and graphics are negotiable. I'm really just trying to get a read on the slogans.
Got too drunk watching football yesterday so I'm taking a personal day. Yes, I am too hung over to blog. Pathetic as it sounds. Come back tomorrow for some jokes and jokes and jokes.
Today, while in the waiting room at the chiropractor's office, I thought I'd be sexy and flash my boyfriend. Forgetting that my iPhone was in the front pocket of my hoodie, I lifted it quickly and hit myself in the mouth. Now I have a fat bloody lip, a boyfriend who can't stop laughing. FML
Today, I went to buy some spray paint for a project. I've never used a spray can before, so I decided to try it on paper provided. Unfortunately I didn't hold the can the right way and ended up with black, permanent, paint all over my face in the middle of a store. FML
Today, while at my job, I walked past one of my colleagues who has been sick for the past couple of days. She knows that I'm a tea drinker and asked me for a tea bag. While conversing with her, I handed her one and left. I then later realized that I gave her a condom. FML
The guy on the left certainly needs to understand that these sort of pants are meant for the person on the right.
It kind of reminds me of a funny tale from the liquor store. A short haired lady came in the other with these kind of pants on and I'll admit I checked out the ass. But when she turned around she had the face of Peter Pan. I then was sure I had just checked out a dude's ass.
Oddly enough she had long nails and makeup on so I assumed it was some sort of tranny type person. But much to my surprise, my coworkers informed me that the lady was, in fact, 100% female. Just with a butchy haircut. So I'm 100% straight. Sorry to all my gay admirers for getting your hopes up.
White Promoter Pushes For All-White Basketball League By News One
From BET.com:
A Georgia boxing and wrestling promoter is establishing an all-White basketball league, saying it’s time to restore “sanity” and “fundamentals” to a game that has been hijacked by undisciplined thugs.
“It has come to the attention of the principals of the (All-American Basketball Alliance) that [W]hite basketball players are essentially ’shut out’ of conventional professional basketball due to the proliferation of non-organized play on the court,” said promoter Don “Moose” Lewis in a news release, ironically, issued on Martin Luther King Day. “With players on other professional teams carrying guns, attacking fans in the stands, and going through the motions of playing the game, fundamentally sound [W]hite players are a vanishing species.
“Fans have spoken to the AABA asking to restore on court sanity to the game of basketball. Their pleas are our mission. Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league.”
In an interview with Scott Michaux of The Augusta (Ga.) Chronicle, Lewis rejected the notion that his new league has anything to do with racism. He said it’s more about restoring the game to the way it was before it was saturated with African Americans.
Its pretty obvious that "Moose" Lewis is just a disgusting racist. I would easily agree that the fundamentals of basketball have been hijacked but they've been hijacked by the league itself who eschewed intelligent play so it could promote the league's best scorers (some of whom are white) and keep fans watching. White people can't blame blacks for the shortcomings of basketball any more than blacks can blame white people for Vanilla Ice or Eminem. And if "Moose" Lewis needs any more proof that his claims are ridiculous I give him Exhibit A and Exhibit B.
If those two aren't the epitomy of undisciplined thugs I'm not sure who is.
(740): I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
(919): dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
(617): the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
(920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss? (1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom? (920): he wasn't. neither were you.
Kobe, LeBron, Dwight have NBA's hottest-selling jerseys By J.E. Skeets/BALL DONT LIE/spots.yahoo.com
Lakers guard Kobe Bryant has retained the No. 1 spot on the NBA's most popular jerseys list, a ranking he has held since the start of the '08-09 season. The rankings are based on sales at the NBA Store in New York City and NBAStore.com since the start of the '09-10 season.
Kobe is on top (don't say it!), LeBron James'(notes) Cavs' thread is second, Magic man Dwight Howard(notes) is third, and checking in at number four, ahead of superstar Dwyane Wade(notes), is Chicago Bulls guard Derrick Rose(notes).
The biggest surprise, of course, is Rose, who climbed seven spots from his No. 11 ranking last year.
Here's a look at the Top 15:
1. Kobe Bryant, Lakers 2. LeBron James, Cavaliers 3. Dwight Howard, Magic 4. Derrick Rose, Bulls 5. Dwyane Wade, Heat 6. Kevin Garnett, Celtics 7. Chris Paul, Hornets 8. Paul Pierce, Celtics 9. Shaquille O'Neal, Cavaliers 10. Pau Gasol, Lakers 11. Carmelo Anthony, Nuggets 12. Steve Nash, Suns 13. David Lee, Knicks 14. Allen Iverson, 76ers 15. Kevin Durant, Thunder
In related NBA cash news, the Lakers once again top the list of most popular NBA team merchandise. The Celtics hold on to the No. 2 spot for the second year in a row and the Cavaliers move up from No. 4 last season to No. 3.
Black Mamba reigns once again. As much as it pains most of America the bad guy is still selling the most jerseys. That's because we all like the villain deep down. Plus, the prospect of Lebron leaving the Cavs might have dampered prospects for his jersey sales a bit. Of course King James has the upper hand on Kobe in head-to-head games this year after the Cavs four point win against the Lake Show last nite.
In any event it seemed unfamothable in 2004 when Kobe was Public Enemy #1 that he would ever be a fan favorite again, much less the most popular player in the league. But America loves it some redemption so I guess Tiger has that to look forward to. And in no time he'll be teaching me words on Sesame Street.
P.S. - Wouldn't it have been great if at the end the muppet said, "Kobe, maybe you should practice some words you don't understand so well, NO, STOP and DON'T.
How Else Do You Motivate a Big Fat Guy? by JeffG/LastAngryFan.com
Jets coach Rex Ryan loves two things–coaching football and eating food.
And judging by his team’s success, and the size of his ass, he’s pretty damn good at both.
I like Ryan. He’s brash, quotable, likable and highly-motivated. Plus he’s a bigger fatass than I am, which I also find appealing.
And now he’s got even more motivation to beat the Colts in the upcoming AFC Championship game.
Food.
More specifically, Ryan has been offered a seat in the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest should his Jets advance to the Super Bowl this coming Sunday. That’s right, you could see Rex Ryan shoving soaking wet hot dogs down his gullet beside competitive eating giants Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut.
Because that’s exactly what a 350 lb man who consumes 7000 calories a day needs–more hog anus.
So Sexy Rexy is interested in throwing his fat into the world of Competitive Eating. I hope for his sake he's prepared. Pushing around pansies like Peyton and Tom Brady may be a cake walk but wait until he goes chest to gut with the likes of Kobayashi and Joey Chestnut. Also, what would be the bigger upset, the Jets beating the Colts or Rex Ryan winning the Nathan's Challenge? Vote 'Made Me Think' for Jets/Colts and 'Pure Douchebaggery' for hot dogs.
So Conan's last episode of The Tonite Show airs tonite. I haven't watched The Tonite Show since the Clinton administration but I'm thinking about DVRing this episode. Especially if he has a few more bits like these.
Police: Angry man kidnaps snowball-tossing teen AP
ANSONIA, Conn. -Police said a prank turned potentially dangerous when a man angry about a snowball hitting his car allegedly pulled a knife on a group of youths and kidnapped one of them. No one was injured.
Joshua Good, 25, was to be arraigned Monday in Superior Court on charges including first-degree kidnapping, threatening and reckless endangerment.
The kidnapping charge carries 10 to 25 years in prison. Police said a group of youths was throwing snowballs near Colony Park Friday night when Good's car was hit. Police say Good threatened the youths with a knife and forced a 13-year-old boy into his car.
Authorities say Good drove the boy home and didn't hurt him.
Good posted $150,000 bail. He didn't immediately return a phone message Wednesday.
If this early start to the harsh winter has taught us anything it's that adults probably shouldn't be included in snowball fights. The economy is down, its cold as hell and our favorite team missed the playoffs. The last thing any of us need is some goofy ass, lunk kid throwing a lump of snow toward us. This guy's reaction was relatively tame. Sure, he pulled a knife but then he drove the kid home and probably imparted a few life lessons. He reacted much better than the D.C. cop who pulled a gun out on some kids.
On this day in... 1890 – The United Mine Workers of America is founded in Columbus, Ohio. 1905 – Bloody Sunday in St. Petersburg, beginning of the 1905 Russian Revolution. 1947 – KTLA, the first commercial television station west of the Mississippi River, begins operation in Hollywood, California. 1957 – The New York City "Mad Bomber", George P. Metesky, is arrested in Waterbury, Connecticut and is charged with planting more than 30 bombs. 1973 – The Supreme Court of the United States delivers its decision in Roe v. Wade, legalizing elective abortion in all fifty states. 1984 – The Apple Macintosh, the first consumer computer to popularize the computer mouse and the graphical user interface, is introduced during Super Bowl XVIII with its famous "1984" television commercial. 2002 – Kmart Corp becomes the largest retailer in United States history to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
Births 1931 – Sam Cooke, American singer (d. 1964) 1940 – George Seifert, American football coach 1949 – Steve Perry, American singer and musician (Journey) 1959 – Linda Blair, American actress 1960 – Michael Hutchence, Australian singer (INXS) (d. 1997) 1965 – DJ Jazzy Jeff, American rapper and actor 1965 – Diane Lane, American actress 1981 – Willa Ford, American singer 1984 – Leon Powe, American basketball player 1987 – Ray Rice , American football player 1988 – Greg Oden, American basketball player
High quantity day in the BYB birthday section today with Bill Walsh's replacement in SF, a Journey front man, the chick from 'The Exorcist,' a dead singer, the greatest sidekick in rap history, a #1 NBA pick made of glass, a budding running back and the 2nd host of 'Pants Off, Dance Off' Willa Ford. But I'm going with one of my favorite singers, the silky smooth, Sam Cooke today. Here's one of his hits as showcased in the lunch scene of 'Animal House.'
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