If you're anything like me you've been watching a lot of old sports games to help you with the lack of sports during this virus. Might I suggest one from my old sports writing days. I was in the press box watching with my good friend Matt Muench that day so I didn't watch on TV. So we'll to experience this together! Enjoy!
Cowboys, QB Andy Dalton reach agreement on one-year deal
Todd Archer/ESPN Staff Writer
Andy Dalton is returning home.
Released by the Cincinnati Bengals on Thursday, Dalton
agreed to a one-year deal with the Dallas Cowboys, the team announced Saturday.
The quarterback's deal has a base value of $3 million and could be worth up to
$7 million, a source told ESPN's Adam Schefter.
Before being selected by the Bengals in the second round of
the 2011 NFL draft, Dalton played at TCU in Fort Worth, Texas. He lives in
Dallas, which means he will not have to move his family during an offseason
that has been made uncertain due to the coronavirus pandemic.
With CeeDee Lamb pick in NFL draft, Cowboys asking offense
to lead way
Many assumed Dalton, 32, would be in position to find a spot
with a less secure starter than Dak Prescott, such as the Jacksonville Jaguars
or New England Patriots, but he opted to remain close to home.
Cincinnati drafted LSU quarterback Joe Burrow with the No. 1
overall pick last week, making Dalton expendable. Dalton was set to earn $17.7
million in the final season of a six-year, $96 million contract. In nine
seasons with the Bengals, Dalton had a 70-61-2 record and helped them to the
postseason in each of his first five seasons, but he was unable to win a
playoff game. He holds the franchise record for touchdown passes with 204 and
is second in passing yards (31,594), but he was benched after an 0-8 start to
the 2019 season.
The Cows seem to be doing all the right things lately. I think they lampooned Jerry Jones on that yacht Draft Time so they could do it up right. Now they get the best backup QB on the market.
I'll be honest, I wanted Red Rocket to be the Bills backup because I hold a special attachment to him. He's the man who single handedly put the Bills into the playoffs a couple years ago with his comeback against Baltimore.
But Dallas got him. And as ambivalent as I am about Dallas, if Red Rocket ends up on the field I will be rooting for him.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm a sucker for Rocky movies. I celebrate almost the entire library. Except Rocky 5. God rest Tommy Morrison's soul but that movie was an abomination to say the best. The best thing that could have happened to the series was Black Panther director Ryan Coogler and star from Fruitvale Station and The Wire, Michael B. Jordan getting involved. It rejuvenated Sly and made the Rocky series start a great new chapter. I encourage everyone to watch the original Rocky (one of the greatest movies ever) and Creed.
Kentucky Derby Fans Can Watch Turtles Race Instead Of Horses This Weekend
Dan Gelston/AP
Losing the Kentucky Derby has left race fans shell-shocked.
The first Saturday in May has yielded to the legs of a bunch of slowpokes: Seattle Slow headlines a field of turtles — yes, turtles — that will race in the Kentucky Turtle Derby.
Call it, the slowest eight minutes in sports.
The race is more methodical marathon that mad dash to the finish — though the victor can win at the line by a turtleneck rather than a nose — and is just one more offbeat sport that has had a moment during the coronvirus pandemic.
The Derby, America’s longest continuously held sports event, had been scheduled for May 2. It will now be run Sept. 5, kicking off Labor Day weekend. It’s the first time the Derby won’t be held on its traditional first Saturday in May since 1945, when it was run June 9. The federal government suspended horse racing nationwide for most of the first half of the year before World War II ended in early May, but not in time to hold the first leg of the Triple Crown that month.
Looking for a slower substitute, the first Kentucky Turtle Derby was hatched.
The Courier-Journal headline from 1945 read: “167 Turtles Arrive for Races Saturday” and about 6,500 fans filled the Jefferson County Armory for the 8 p.m. post time. The event went down like this: 20 turtles were herded into seven qualifying races and the winners went on to compete in a 20-foot finale.
I admire the ingenuity Americans are showing trying to get sports back on the TV. Nebraska put on a virtual spring game that was exceptional. Watching a video game football game doesn't sound like a lot of fun but in a pinch it'll do. When I moved into my first apartment in Lubbock I didn't have cable. I turned on NCAA Football 2002 on the Playstation and started watched computer automated games. Saw some barnburners. But I'm also a somewhat turtle owner. Our turtles are well loved and well fed but they don't exactly take direction. I can't imagine these races are going well. But I'm desperate for sports so if they keep these things going I'll wager on them. Can you blame me?
Investigators are searching for the killer using their biggest clues: a grainy picture and a recording of his voice from the victim’s phone ordering the girls “Down the Hill.”
3 years and 50,000 tips later, it’s a mystery that still haunts the small town of Delphi, Indiana while police say the killer may walk among them.
Not exactly a happy subject matter during this pandemic but for those not easily shaken it's an interesting true crime tale. Still unsolved but hopefully this podcast gives enough answers to the folks in this Indiana town that it can be solved.
Hero Cat Alerts Sleeping Family To Burning Slow Cooker
By David Moye/HuffPost
Think cats are just selfish creatures who only want to eat, sleep and clean themselves?
Well, that’s a crock, according to a Canadian man who says his cat woke him up to let him know a slow cooker was on fire.
Scott White of Portugal Cove-St. Philip’s in the province of Newfoundland and Labrador, said he went to sleep Sunday morning around midnight after setting some onions in the slow cooker to make jam.
A few hours later, around 4:30 a.m., White said his cat, Joey, did something strange. “Usually, Joey doesn’t bother us when we sleep, but I could sense him pacing around the bed and I woke up with a paw on my face,” White told HuffPost.
Sensing something was wrong, White got up and saw the kitchen filling up with smoke from the slow cooker. “There was a lot of haze in the kitchen, but not enough to alert the fire alarm about 20 feet away,” White said.
In the aftermath of Joey’s alertness, White and his fiancee have been giving Joey extra attention and treats from a “hero basket” donated to them as word about the cat spread around town.
But Joey’s heroism may have left White’s other pet, a 10-month-old puppy, in the metaphorical doghouse. “The dog was always in the window growling at people, so we thought he’d be a good watchdog,” White said.
Instead, the pooch slept through the entire incident.
“I guess we found out the real hero is the cat,” White told the CBC.
Yeah, take that Lassie! Dumbass dog sitting there with his tail between his legs while The Cool Cat has to take care of bizness and save the family. I'm a cat guy. I can't be drawn to an animal like a dog that needs desperately for my affection. You gotta make me work for it. Like a cat. And maybe if I love the cat enough it'll save my life one day. Maybe not.
Alex Jones Says He’s Considering Eating Neighbors If COVID-19 Lockdown Continues
By David Moye/Huffpost
Think you’re going stir crazy from the coronavirus lockdown? Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones can probably top whatever disturbing thoughts you might be having.
He said on his far-right radio talk show Friday that he’s willing to go full cannibal.
If COVID-19 shutdowns continue, he said, he has “extrapolated this out” and may have to resort to drastic and disgusting methods of survival.
“I’ll admit it. I will eat my neighbors,” Jones said, predicting a dystopian future plagued by food shortages.
“I won’t have to for a few years ’cause I got food and stuff ― but I’m literally looking at my neighbors now and going, ’I’m ready to hang ’em up and gut ’em and skin ’em. My daughters aren’t starving to death. I will eat my neighbors. ... I will.”
Although Jones’ admission could make neighborhood watch meetings awkward, he said he plans on gobbling “globalists” who imposed the lockdowns first.
“You think I like sizing up my neighbor?!” Jones bellowed. “I’m gonna haul him up by a chain and chop his ass up! I’ll do it! My children aren’t going hungry! I’ll eat your ass! And that’s what I want the globalists to know — I will eat your ass first!”
It’s unlikely Jones will ever go hungry, thanks to a fortune amassed in part through scams like selling fake coronavirus cures. He was ordered to pay Sandy Hook elementary school parents $100,000 for legal fees last year in a lawsuit they filed over his lies that the 2012 school massacre was a hoax.
Look, I'm never going to be one to advocate for a scumbag like Alex Jones but he's kinda being practical here. If all the farmers plow their crops and slaughter all the animals we may have to go Walking Dead style. Maybe Alex is just looking ahead. I say we give this great patriot a road map to survival. Alex, when all the meat runs out you can feel free to drive to West Texas and eat my a$$.
It's the summer of 1984, and it's Season 3 of Snowfall. Crack cocaine is spreading like wildfire through South Central Los Angeles, continuing its path of destruction and changing the culture forever.
Police are waking up to this growing epidemic, and Sergeant Andre Wright (Marcus Henderson) has set his sights on budding Kingpin and next-door neighbor Franklin Saint (Damson Idris) and his people. While local law enforcement fights to stem the tide, Teddy McDonald (Carter Hudson) and the CIA are working hard to make sure the flow of cocaine into LA doesn’t stop.
To continue funding the war against communism in Central America, Teddy will need to find new routes into the United States using Gustavo “El Oso” Zapata (Sergio Peris-Mencheta) and what's left of the Villanueva family. As the stakes and losses continue to mount, our players truly begin to understand the destructive force they have set in motion, forced to re-examine their own motivations and the cost of continuing forward from here.
Snowfall is created by John Singleton & Eric Amadio and Dave Andron and Executive Produced by Singleton, Andron, Thomas Schlamme, Amadio, Michael London and Trevor Engelson. Andron will serve as showrunner.
Ever wonder how crack cocaine was invented and spread throughout the US? Well this great show tells that story with a good narrative and amazing characters. If you've got some free time (like I do), give a few minutes to this fascinating show. It's from John Singelton so anyone whoever liked The Program, Higher Learning or Boys in the Hood would be a big fan.
Aliens might be real as The Pentagon releases footages of what they claim is an 'unidentified aerial phenomena'
We might not be alone in this ever-expanding universe.
The Pentagon released three videos showing what they are calling "unidentified aerial phenomena". In the videos, we can see an oval object moving rapidly, which seems to be impossible manoeuvre for aircraft to carry out.
However, the videos have been released over the years, dating back to early 2000s. The first footage, which was recorded in 2004 and was picked up by To The Stars Academy of Arts & Science, co-founded by Blink-182 guitarist Tom DeLonge.
It shows a patrol carrier's sensor system picking up an object floating in the sky. The carrier had its sensors on and locked on the object. But after a while, the object speeds off to the left and sensors lost track of it because of its immense speed.
The other two videos were recorded in 2015 from the aircraft of two U.S. fighter pilots.
The first video was leaked in 2007 and the others in 2017 to which the U.S. Navy has come out and said they are real.
The U.S. Defense Department spokesperson Sue Gough said, “After a thorough review, the department has determined that the authorized release of these unclassified videos does not reveal any sensitive capabilities or systems, and does not impinge on any subsequent investigations of military air space incursions by unidentified aerial phenomena.”
Say whatever you want. It's pretty obvious to me that the aliens are really out there and I need to call them out. So thousands of years ago you build pyramids for the Egyptians but now you can't step up and help us out of this virus? For thousands of years all you aliens did was butt diddle hillbillies and mow circles into crops. Why don't you get your asses down here and pitch in? Oh? And Bigfoot? Don't think I don't have my eye on you. You're like Chewbaca with none of the charm.
Do we want to do "blame" or do we want to do "reasons"?
We can do both but - out of respect for the end of the greatest run by any franchise in NFL history - I'd rather lay off the blame for why Tom Brady is no longer a Patriot.
Let's stick to reasons.
One thing, though? Tom Brady didn't "decide" to leave the Patriots. That's for sure.
He decided to leave the same way a person "decides" to get out of the car when it pulls into the driveway, is put into park and the engine is turned off. Ride's over. Time to get out.
The Patriots made very clear to Brady over the past few years that they weren't in it with him for the long haul anymore.
They made it clear before the 2018 season when - instead of the extension he'd been trying to extract - he was given some incentives to hit in order to sweeten his salary.
At the time, a source texted me, "Remember, this is a club that would not pull the thorn out of the lion's paw if presented with the situation."
We all owe the NFL a debt of gratitude of keeping the hot stove burning this week. It's been a welcome distraction. No news hit my ear better than the bain of the Buffalo Bills' existence, the Nelson to their Bart, Mr. Thomas Brady hitting the road for Tampa Bay. Bill Belichick finally alienated the one player he had held on to all these years. And Buffalo's sins went with him when Bill put him in the hole. Now Buffalo has a Top 10 receiver in Stefon Diggs, a Top 5 defense and the stalwart Brady out of the division. If there's a Super Bowl next year I like the Bills' chances.
I for one welcome our alien overlords. I've never been a huge sci-fi guy or an alien guy but this show has enough of a history background (Cold War politics, CIA, spies, etc.) to draw my attention. Obviously its scripted but each episode concludes with the university researcher's notes from that case. Aiden Gillen from Game of Thrones (Littlefinger) kills it as Dr. Hynek, the Ohio State professor hired by the Air Force to investigate UFO cases and Ksenia Solo, ooh la la. I've got a new crush. Give it a shot. You won't be disappointed.
A wild javelina captured the hearts, minds and memes of social media this week after being caught on camera running through Tucson, Arizona.
Despite its somewhat boar-like appearance, the javelina is a peccary and not a pig. Javelinas roam from the American Southwest down into Argentina. And, according to the Arizona-Sonora Desert Museum, they’re known for having scent glands near the rump that they rub on rocks, trees and each other to mark territory.
Javelinas live in groups of about 10 and communicate with both grunts and scents. While they are herbivores, javelinas will also eat lizards, birds and rodents if the opportunity arises.
And one has run right into the Twitter feeds of millions as the latest meme, in many cases with people adding some matching music:
Man, that thing is a beast. Like Marshawn Lynch busting through the line. One time me and my brother chased a javelina through a park with two OPD officers and two cowboys. The cowboys had two extension cords they had fashoined into a lasso. What was our plan for if we caught it? i mean, I guess the cops technically had to be doing it but I guess we were just helping out of some idiotic sense of civic service. Men really are stupid, aren't we?
Your favorite musicians are all scumbags. I know because I heard it on Disgraceland.
Lot of great stories from the world of music like James Brown asking for a private viewing of Elvis' body at his funeral and telling the corpse,"Elvis, you rat, I ain't number two no more."
BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Air travelers cannot receive cash compensation if their flight is delayed by a passenger biting others and assaulting crew members, an adviser at the Court of Justice of the European Union said on Thursday.
Such incidents were “extraordinary circumstances,” Advocate General Priit Pikamae wrote in a non-binding opinion, a form of guidance that is normally followed by the court.
A traveler flying from Brazil to Norway via Portugal in Aug. 2017 with Portuguese airline TAP sought 600 euros compensation in accordance with EU law, after his flight departed late from the Brazilian city of Fortaleza.
The plane had to be diverted to disembark a passenger biting and assaulting crew members before it could land back in Brazil, delaying the following outgoing flight.
“A passenger biting other passengers and attacking the cabin crew trying to calm him down, resulting in the deviation of a Lisbon-Fortaleza flight to the nearest airport in order to disembark this passenger and his baggage, leading to a flight delay, falls under the concept of extraordinary circumstances,” Pikamae said.
TAP argued that the delay at arrival in Lisbon, resulting in the passenger missing his connecting flight to Oslo, was due to the fact that the airline used the same plane that was diverted on its way to Brazil to disembark the violent passenger and it was not possible to send another plane on time.
The court itself will likely rule in two to four months on the matter. It typically follows the opinions of its advocate generals.
Finally a judge comes forward to challenge all these damn scam artists trying to fleece the travel industry with the ole' "get bit on a plane and sue the airline" scam. Look, wild shit happens on planes. Mile Hile Club, air sickness, biting other passengers and crew members. It goes with the territory.
That's why you always build in time during your layover to doctor up your bite scars and hit the airport Chili's. A I the only one who's ever traveled before. You don't try to rob the poor airlines just because you catch a tooth in the neck. Ridiculous.
I can't express how weird and unsettling it is to see wrestling without crowd noise. It's like watching a duck read a newspaper. Not that I'm complaining. The fact that I get to watch it at all is something I'm thankful for - any shot at normalcy right now is something we should embrace. But during these trying times I also flash back to the past to get a shot of enthusiasm.
We've got Hard Times but listen to Dusty. We'll make it through these Hard Time Blues.
PORT ARTHUR, Texas (AP) — A 24-year-old man was sentenced Wednesday to 30 days in jail for posting on social media a video last August of himself removing an ice cream container from a Texas market freezer, licking the contents and returning the container to the freezer.
D’Adrien Anderson, 24, also was sentenced to an additional six-month jail term probated for two years and ordered to pay a $1,000 fine and $1,565 in restitution to Blue Bell Creameries, which had to replace all of its products in the freezer.
Anderson began serving his jail term immediately after sentencing.
The incident happened Aug. 26 at a Walmart in Port Arthur. Store surveillance cameras showed that he finally took the Blue Bell ice cream from the freezer and bought it, which wasn’t captured in the social media video, authorities said.
Anderson could have been sentenced to up to a year in jail and fined $4,000 for misdemeanor criminal mischief.
Obviously in the last 15 days sensitivities to this type of tomfoolery have heightened so I'm trying to grade on a curve here but I not mustering up a whole lot of sympathy for this fella. Honestly if someone tried this now I'm pretty sure they'd get sent to The Gulag or locked in the Stocks like the 1790's. And they'd have it coming. Justice might be getting frontier style again pretty soon. Don't lick the ice cream if you can't toss the salad.
Look, a lot of people are freaking out right now about toilet paper. Seems ridiculous to me. Hell, anything can be toilet paper. Thrifty Nickel, treasure map from Long John Silver's, welfare check, Mcdonald's bag, restraining order paperwork, paystub from Nebraska. Hell, anything.
My buddy from the Boca Raton Soup Kitchen, Tupelo Hank used to say you didn't even need toilet paper. He'd just show up at the supermarket first thing and ask for some paper bags. Carve out a couple leg holes and duct tape it up around your things. You gotcha a homemade diaper right there. Have Bo send you a pair of LSU sweatpants and you're in business. Toilet paper shortage? Ya'll are just being silly.
A 61-year-old Pennsylvania woman who was seeking a liver transplant caused quite a brouhaha after doctors tested her urine and discovered the presence of alcohol.
The patient insisted that she had not been drinking that day, but doctors at the University of Pittsburgh School of Medicine and Medical Center were skeptical. Since excessive drinking can harm the liver, they pushed her to enter an alcohol abuse treatment program instead, according to The Washington Post.
But the woman kept insisting she wasn’t an alcoholic and she showed no signs of visible impairment from drinking.
Eventually, doctors discovered that the real trouble was brewing in her bladder. The organ was producing alcohol on its own, according to a case study published Monday in the journal Annals of Internal Medicine.
It seems the woman suffered from urinary auto-brewery syndrome, which caused her bladder to make alcohol.
That booze didn’t show up in her blood. And her urine had no signs of ethyl glucuronide or ethyl sulfate, two chemicals produced when the body metabolizes alcohol.
But the woman’s urine had a lot of sugar and yeast — the two key ingredients for fermentation. (She had “uncontrolled diabetes,” according to the Philadelphia Inquirer.)
Once doctors figured out that the high levels of alcohol in the woman’s urine were not the result of excessive consumption, she was allowed back on the list to be considered for a liver transplant.
Her case “demonstrates how easy it is to overlook signals that urinary auto-brewery syndrome may be present,” the study said, calling for standardized guidelines for alcohol abstinence monitoring.
Wow, talk about cutting out the middle man. No more trips to the liquor store. Just brew that stuff up in the old liver on your own. What are the chances there are other ladies with this magical skill. Maybe one could make an honest man out of me. Then when I'm morning drunk I could just say I gave my wife a smooch this morning. How is that a crime?
