They Call Him the Streak

Man cites boredom after streaking arrest
By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

KINGSPORT, Tenn. (AP) — A man who has been charged with making a naked dash through a Tennessee supermarket told police he was “bored and didn’t have anything else to do.”

The Kingsport Times-News reports that a man entered an IGA store Friday night, wearing nothing but a face mask, and ran around the aisles.

A police report says officers found the suspect in the bathroom of a nearby Hardee’s restaurant. Employees say he entered the fast food outlet wearing nothing but an orange hooded sweat shirt and asked if anyone could lend him clothes. An employee gave him a pair of athletic shorts.

Kingsport police arrested 22-year-old Daniel R. Lee of Church Hill and have charged him with indecent exposure.

I can't blame this guy for wanting to spice up his night with a little naked dash through a supermarket. There's not much to do in sleepy little towns like Kingsport, Tenn., or Odessa, Texas. Honestly, if I weren't so image conscious I'd probably be flying my wang all through town because it certainly does get boring. But Daniel Lee made a fatal mistake here. He planned the fun but he didn't plan the getaway. You've got to have a car nearby or at least stash a pair of shorts near the supermarket exit. You can't be running into a Hardee's with your johnson out looking for a pair of jugging trunks. But I guess the kind of guy would streak a supermarket out of boredom in rural Tennessee probably doesn't think things through.

And how about the guy from Hardee's who gave up his trunks getting a vote for good samaritan of the year. I wouldn't want some weird guy's dong rubbing up against my shorts.

P.S. - I'm pretty sure Ray Stevens inspired this entire episode.