Today, my mother told me she's glad my phone still worked after she dropped it in the porta-potty, because she didn't want to replace it. Apparently, this happened over a year ago. I have been putting peoples feces on my face for a year. Thanks mom! FML
Today, I turned my phone's ringer from vibrate to loud because I was expecting several messages and calls. I received none. Oh yeah, it's my birthday. FML
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