Alright, so on my second day of visiting this site I realized there is no way I could narrow it down to one text per day so its going to best the 'textS from last nite' moment of the day from now on. That's right, I changed 'night' to 'nite'. I always do that in texts. Enjoy.
(519): Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
(512): I pooped in a mop bucket.
(1-512): WTF???
(512): Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that?
(541): There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
(253): Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
(405): I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
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