Today, my boss made me some Tortellini for lunch. As I was happily eating it, he started to give me a massage, while talking to his friends in Greek. He told me that he said "She's my number 1 cashier." Turns out, what he really said was "See, if you feed them well, they let you touch them. FML
Today, someone gave me a note to pass along to a girl in class. The note had the girl's name surrounded by hearts. When I gave it to her, she assumed it was a love note from me, and said "Not in a million years, fat ass" before I could say it was from someone else. FML
Today, I was working at Publix ringing up some 70 year old woman. She says "Man, you're a fast cashier, I like my men fast!" and then gives me a wink. I got really nervous and didn't know how to respond, so not thinking, I quickly said, "Yeah, me too." FML
Last week I showed you Collegefootballnews.com's first 2010 preseason rankings. While it may still be abit early for some of you to talk college football, it really got my juices flowing for next season. So to continue that I have some more way too early CFN coverage. This time they're breaking down the 10 deensive players who are bound to have a big impact next season. Take copious notes.
Sure, you guys up in Eugene (and Columbus) are well aware of Kenny Rowe, but the folks in the South couldn’t tell you what position he plays. And although Aldon Smith and Tysyn Hartman may be on the verge of becoming household names in Great Plains, they barely ring a bell to the guys out in the Northeast.
This time of year, there are loads of all-star-caliber players within every conference, who are busting at the chance to take their brand outside the region and showcase it to a national audience. Clearly, they have the talent and they’ll have the opportunities to put it all on display later on in the fall. Whatever shreds of anonymity these guys enjoy today could be a distant memory by early October.
LB Akeem Ayers, UCLA One of these days, folks outside of Westwood are going to recognize that Ayers is one of the most underrated playmakers in the country. Soon, maybe. With the size of a defensive end and the quickness of some safeties, he’s able to wreak havoc all over the field. Although unfairly skipped on the All-Pac-10 squad, he had 75 tackles in his starting debut, adding 14.5 tackles for loss, six sacks, four picks, and four forced fumbles. Ayers is a 6-4, 252-pound menace, who’s about to embark on a monster junior season for the Bruins.
LB Vontaze Burfict, Arizona State There’s a good reason why Burfict had offers to play at every major program on the West Coast, including USC, a year ago; he’s an elite talent, with a tremendous future in Tempe. He wasted no time getting acclimated to the speed of the college game, finishing his rookie year with 69 tackles, seven tackles for loss, two sacks, and a pair of forced fumbles. At 6-3 and 245 pounds, he gives nothing away to more experienced opponents, combining strength and aggression with above average range for an inside linebacker.
DE Jack Crawford, Penn State Even more exciting than Crawford’s 31 tackles, 14.5 tackles for loss, and 5.5 sacks from a year ago is the fact that he hasn’t been playing this sport very long. Heck, he was raised in the United Kingdom and didn’t take up American football until 2006. He was a quick learner, however, and still has plenty of room for development as a pass rusher over the next two seasons. He moves very well for a 6-5, 255-pounder, and is one of the team’s hardest workers, on the field and away from it. If he continues to evolve, the sky’s the limit for the rising junior.
DE Marcell Dareus, Alabama As you might figure, Dareus had a difficult time making a name for himself on a defense that included Terrence Cody, Rolando McClain, and Javier Arenas. That won’t be so much of an issue in 2010. A disruptive end in the body of a 6-4, 295-pound tackle, he compiled 33 tackles, nine tackles for loss, and a team-best 6.5 sacks despite starting just a handful of games. The Defensive MVP of the BCS National Championship game, he’s destined to use that performance versus Texas as a launching point for a far less anonymous junior year.
S Rashard Hall, Clemson The Tigers have hit the daily-double at safety over the past six months. Not only did All-American DeAndre McDaniel decide to return for his senior year, but Hall has developed into a tremendous complement early in his career. As a redshirt freshman, he forced his way into the lineup at free safety, making 63 tackles, picking off six passes, and flying all over the field on special teams. At 6-2 and 195 pounds, he has the size and strength to fill the lanes in run defense, yet also possesses the instincts and cover skills of a quality cornerback.
CB Greg Reid, Florida State Reid suffered through some guilt by association in his first year in Tallahassee, playing in a secondary that got routinely toasted. Still, it was obvious to anyone who watched his film that the rookie is going to be a special playmaker at Florida State. While not very big at 5-9 and 180 pounds, he’s one of those insanely explosive athletes who plays much larger than his measurements. He broke up eight passes and was not intimidated by the competition last fall, building confidence as the season wound down. With Patrick Robinson gone, Reid is ready to step into the lineup and begin making game-changing plays.
S Tysyn Hartman, Kansas State As converted quarterbacks go, Hartman is turning out to be a very valuable safety for the Wildcats. He made the switch prior to the 2008 season and has kept getting better, collecting 54 tackles, five interceptions, and All-Big 12 honorable mention recognition a year ago. Above all else, he’s an outstanding all-around athlete and, at 6-3 and 207 pounds, brings imposing size to the secondary. With two more years of eligibility remaining in Manhattan, he has enough time to blossom into one of the game’s premier defensive backs.
DE Kenny Rowe, Oregon Although the consistency wasn’t always there for Rowe in his first year as a starter, the potential was, especially in the Rose Bowl. He got minimal resistance from the Ohio State offensive line, collecting four tackles for loss, three sacks, and a bunch of hurries of Terrelle Pryor. Call it a sneak peak into next season, his final one in Eugene. At 6-3 and 232 pounds, he’s essentially a glorified outside linebacker, using his speed and get-off to jet past unprepared tackles. After finishing a quiet No. 9 nationally in sacks, he’s itching to raise his profile beyond just the West Coast.
LB Shayne Skov, Stanford More than just one of the rising young stars at linebacker, Skov is a shining example of how Jim Harbaugh is raising the talent level in Palo Alto. A 2009 can’t-miss recruit, who prepped on the East Coast, he was as good as advertised in his maiden season, working his way into the lineup and finishing third on the Cardinal with 62 tackles. He has the complete package of size, athleticism, and instincts to quickly emerge as the leader of the defense, especially with Bo McNally and Clinton Snyder no longer around.
DE Aldon Smith, Missouri This is the classic example of the modest recruit, who works hard in the offseason, blooms a little late, and catches a lot of people by surprise in his first year. Without much warning, Smith shot up to 6-5 and 255 pounds and routinely busted through opposing offensive lines as a redshirt freshman. A tremendous physical specimen, with the long arms to swim past tackles, he earned the Big 12 Defensive Freshman of the Year, making 64 tackles, 19 tackles for loss, and 11.5 sacks. If he keeps learning and working, he has everything else needed to become one of the nation’s top pass rushers.
(973): so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
(321): Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk. -(407): Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
The Olympics end Sunday right? Because I don't think I can stand anymore midless chatter about sports that we only give a damn about for three weeks every four years. Now the Apollo Onos and Flying Tomatos of the world can crawl back into relative obscurity. Except for the Vonn girl. She can stay.
And the Johnny Weir skating fans can go back to watching Lifetime and Hallmark movies. What are the Olympics if not a ploy to get women to watch sports and maximize advertising revenue. I'll pass. If I want to watch a fruit prance around on some ice I'll freeze the sidewalks in front of a salon. I've got no use for Johnny Weir or winter sports. Well except for this one.
A naked sledging event in Germany’s Harz region created a logistical nightmare over the weekend after 14,000 people showed up to watch 30 men and women strip before sliding down the mountain.
Normally the gentle slope in front of Braunlage’s town hall is a pretty quiet place during the winter. Beginning skiers practice their first turns, parents plop their children on sleds, and pensioners take some air.
But the scene was quite different on Saturday, when thousands unexpectedly turned out for a nearly naked sledging contest sponsored by a radio station. Completely taken by surprise, authorities in the small town in Lower Saxony struggled to deal with the massive crowds.
“The traffic is huge problem for us,” complained Braunlage’s police chief Michael Huth.
But the logistical challenges didn’t keep around 30 contestants from stripping down to their panties or briefs and racing the 100-metre course on little red and black sledges. Many of the tanned racers looked more ready for the beach than the piste, as some even bared what had to be rather chilly nipple rings.
“We had a lot of luck with the weather,” said André Gierke from the radio station 89.0 RTL. “A proper winter for naked sledging.”
Now thats winter sports baby. I've never been so happy to be German.
Lawsuit: US school spied on students via laptops AP
PHILADELPHIA — A suburban Philadelphia school district used school-issued laptop webcams to spy on students at home, potentially catching them and their families in compromising situations, a family claims in a federal lawsuit.
Officials at the school district can activate webcams on the computers without students' knowledge or permission, the lawsuit alleges. Plaintiffs Michael and Holly Robbins suspect the cameras captured students and family members as they undressed and in other embarrassing situations, according to the suit.
Lower Merion School District officials said the laptops "contain a security feature intended to track lost, stolen and missing laptops," and that the feature was deactivated Thursday.
"We can categorically state that we are and have always been committed to protecting the privacy of our students," he said.
Tom Halpern, a 15-year-old sophomore from Wynnewood, said students are "pretty disgusted" and have started putting masking tape over their computer webcams and microphones.
"This is just bogus," Halpern said. "I just think it's really despicable that they have the ability to just watch me all the time."
The accusations amount to potentially illegal electronic wiretapping, said Witold J. Walczak, legal director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Pennsylvania, which is not involved in the case.
"School officials cannot, any more than police, enter into the home either electronically or physically without an invitation or a warrant," Walczak said.
A school district statement released late Thursday said the tracking feature would not be reactivated "without express written notification to all students and families."
The affluent district prides itself on its technology initiatives, which include giving laptops to each of the approximately 2,300 students at its two high schools.
Superintendent Christopher W. McGinley did not immediately return a message left Thursday by The Associated Press.
The Robbinses said they learned of the alleged webcam images when Lindy Matsko, an assistant high school principal, told their son that school officials thought he had engaged in improper behavior at home. The behavior was not specified in the suit.
Matsko "cited as evidence a photograph from the webcam embedded in minor plaintiff's personal laptop issued by the school district," the lawsuit states.
Matsko later confirmed to Michael Robbins that the school had the ability to activate the webcams remotely, according to the lawsuit, which was filed Tuesday and which seeks class-action status.
Invasion of privacy my ass. If you ask me these teachers have to take hell from these students all day, they should get to pay back the favor and take some revenger. This is really no different than when Mr. Hand went to Spicoli's house and taught him history during the End of School Dance. If Spicoli wouldn't have acted like an assclown during class he wouldn't have drew Mr. Hand's ire.
I'm sure the good kids aren't getting spyed on at home, just the worthless punks. These are kids were talking about. They shouldn't have rights. And as much as they're sexting these days you wouldn't think this would bother them. For a segment of society that begs for privacy so much they sure do spread around a lot of photos of their junk.
On this day in... 1815 – Napoleon Bonaparte escapes from Elba. 1870 – In New York City, a demonstration of the first pneumatic subway opens to the public. 1919 – An act of the U.S. Congress establishes most of the Grand Canyon as a United States National Park. 1929 – The Grand Teton National Park is created. 1936 – Adolf Hitler opened the 1st Volkswagen plant in East Germany. 1991 – Gulf War: On Baghdad Radio Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein announces the withdrawal of Iraqi troops from Kuwait. 1993 – World Trade Center bombing: In New York City, a truck bomb parked below the North Tower of the World Trade Center explodes, killing 6 and injuring over a thousand. 2003 – Generally said to be the starting date of the War in Darfur.
Births 1564 – Christopher Marlowe, English dramatist (d. 1593) 1846 – William "Buffalo Bill" Cody, American frontiersman (d. 1917) 1926 – Verne Gagne, American wrestler 1928 – Fats Domino, American musician 1932 – Johnny Cash, American singer (d. 2003) 1934 – Robert Novak, American political columnist (d. 2009) 1953 – Michael Bolton, American singer 1971 – Erykah Badu, American singer 1973 – Marshall Faulk, American football player 1977 – Tim Thomas, American basketball player
Not too shabby on the Birthday Express todaty. We've got a Wild West legend, an old wrestling promoter, a fat singer, a cheesy singer and a great running back. Plus we have country music legend Johnny Cash. Here's Johnny live at San Quentin Prison.
The $555,000 Student-Loan Burden by Mary Pilon/Yahoo Finance
When Michelle Bisutti, a 41-year-old family practitioner in Columbus, Ohio, finished medical school in 2003, her student-loan debt amounted to roughly $250,000. Since then, it has ballooned to $555,000.
It is the result of her deferring loan payments while she completed her residency, default charges and relentlessly compounding interest rates. Among the charges: a single $53,870 fee for when her loan was turned over to a collection agency.
"Maybe half of it was my fault because I didn't look at the fine print," Dr. Bisutti says. "But this is just outrageous now."
To be sure, Dr. Bisutti's case is extreme, and lenders say student-loan terms are clear and that they try to work with borrowers who get in trouble.
But as tuitions rise, many people are borrowing heavily to pay their bills. Some no doubt view it as "good debt," because an education can lead to a higher salary. But in practice, student loans are one of the most toxic debts, requiring extreme consumer caution and, as Dr. Bisutti learned, responsibility.
Unlike other kinds of debt, student loans can be particularly hard to wriggle out of. Homeowners who can't make their mortgage payments can hand over the keys to their house to their lender. Credit-card and even gambling debts can be discharged in bankruptcy. But ditching a student loan is virtually impossible, especially once a collection agency gets involved. Although lenders may trim payments, getting fees or principals waived seldom happens.
Yet many former students are trying. There is an estimated $730 billion in outstanding federal and private student-loan debt, says Mark Kantrowitz of FinAid.org, a Web site that tracks financial-aid issues -- and only 40% of that debt is actively being repaid. The rest is in default, or in deferment, which means that payments and interest are halted, or in "forbearance," which means payments are halted while interest accrues.
Although Dr. Bisutti's debt load is unusual, her experience having problems repaying isn't. Emmanuel Tellez's mother is a laid-off factory worker, and $120 from her $300 unemployment checks is garnished to pay the federal PLUS student loan she took out for her son.
This story hits a bit too close to home right now. I owe varied financial institutions the sum of what would be a nice starter home in some cities and will probably pay it off around the time I retire...or die, whichever comes first. That's why I get riled when people equate free education with socialism and then say we'll just all be owned by the government. Because right now I feel like I should have to wear a shirt that says "Property of ACS Financial. Utica, NY." I'd do anything to get out of this debt. I wonder if ACS would let me run drugs or become a hitman as repayment. Maybe I could give them my first born child. I'll figure something out.
Florida family gives up on small-town North Dakota AP
HAZELTON, N.D. – A tiny North Dakota town's promise of cash and free land lured only one family from out of state. Now, Michael and Jeanette Tristani and their 12-year-old twins are trying to move from the town without a traffic light back to Miami.
Tired of crime, traffic, hurricanes and the high cost of living in Florida, the Tristanis moved four years ago to Hazelton, a dwindling town of about 240 that has attempted to attract young families to stay on the map.
Michael Tristani, 42, said at the time the 1,800-mile move was "an answer to our prayers."
"We don't have to look over our shoulder to see who's going to rob us, or jump out of the bushes to attack us," Tristani said. "Taxes are low, the cost of living is low and the kids enjoy school."
But the family also found a cliquey community that treated them like outsiders. "For my wife, it's been a culture shock," he said.
Rural communities across the Great Plains, fighting a decades-long population decline, are trying a variety of ways to attract outsiders. But the Tristanis show how the efforts can fail even at a time when many people are desperate.
"It's been quite an experience, 50-50 at best," Tristani said. "It hasn't been easy. No one really wants new people here."
The Hazelton Development Corp., formed by a determined group of citizens, began running ads in 2005 offering families up to two free lots and up to $20,000 toward home purchases. Businesses were offered free lots and up to $50,000 for setting up shop in the town.
Besides cash and free land, Hazelton had little else to offer except elbow room. Surrounded by flat farm land and livestock, the century-old town boasts three churches, a bank, a grain elevator and a bar.
Like many small towns across rural America, the once thriving farming community began shrinking as residents moved on or passed away.
Tom Weiser, one of the city leaders behind the project to lure new residents, said Hazelton had hundreds of inquiries from around the world when the community's proposal made headlines across the country. Several families from other states visited the town but only the Tristanis made the commitment to move.
"Not everybody fits in in a small town," said Weiser, who works as a baker at Wal-Mart in Bismarck, about 45 miles away.
Hay bales, a gas station and a graveyard greet visitors as they roll into Hazelton off the state highway.
Michael Tristani came from his native Florida wearing gold necklaces and a Rolex and driving a Lexus. He proved as foreign as a flamingo in a place where pickups, farm caps and flannel shirts are de rigueur.
"People thought I was a drug dealer," he said.
Tristani said he was prepared for Hazelton's bitter winters — when wind chills can reach 50-degrees below zero and snow drifts are measured in feet — but not the small-town drama.
"People prejudge you without getting to know you," Jeanette Tristani said.
If you ask me the Tristani's are just a family of quitters. I'd expect that from some Florida softies. But if the folks in North Dakota want a real challenge then they can bring in a West Texas man. I offer myself up as the next guinea pig in this Hazleton, North Dakota stimulus project. Now I'm not coming in with the established capital of the Tristanis so I'm going to need a free house and a bar to run. But I'm Masters educated so I fully expect to be the most intelligent person in town and will soon have you all eating out of my hands.
Don't like my attitude? Then don't be afraid to drive by my house and yell obscenities. I'm not easily rattled. I'll be outside drinking in a lawn chair and urinating in the street. So I'm throwing do the gauntlet to you Hazelton. Got the guts to take me on? Or are you chicken?
Death of the Last Sideshow Fat Man Marc Hartzman/AOL News
While there is no shortage of fat men in America, only one over the past few decades called himself a professional.
Weighing 607 pounds, Bruce Snowdon was a sideshow fat man from 1977 to 2003, billed as "Harold Huge." His death on Nov. 9 at the age of 63 marks the end of a long, heavy tradition dating back centuries.
This weekend, his loved ones will honor him and lay his ashes to rest.
"Bruce was exactly as advertised: the last fat man on show on the carnival midways," said James Taylor, publisher of the sideshow journal Shocked & Amazed.
Until the mid-1960s, traveling carnivals frequently featured fat acts. But sideshows declined in popularity as waistlines expanded and obesity became less of a laughing matter.
As the years went by, spotting a man who weighed more than quarter of a ton was not that unusual – and that was bad news, if you were in Snowdon's line of work.
Snowdon managed to persevere. In fact, one of his last gigs, as a sideshow performer in Tim Burton's 2003 fantasy "Big Fish," was one of the highlights of his career.
In one scene, Snowdon can be seen sprawled out in a giant tub being washed by Ewan McGregor. The role left him with a handsome paycheck and a urinary tract infection that plagued him in his later years.
Strangely, no one outside of Snowdon's St. Petersburg, Fla., nursing center knew of his death until the middle of this month. He had checked in just weeks earlier and left no family contact information. It wasn't until a banker managing his trust learned the news and told his surviving brother, sister and cousin.
Snowdon never married and had no children. He did, however, keep a yard full of chickens, including five roosters that woke the neighbors bright and early every morning.
"He was an eccentric guy, a good-hearted guy," said Snowdon's cousin, Tom Lawless, who was surprised he didn't hear the news much sooner.
The nursing home had cremated his body before his survivors learned of his passing.
Snowdon's sideshow predecessors were often portrayed as jolly fat men – although any joy typically came from receiving a paycheck, which, at the time, may have been difficult to find elsewhere because of their unusually large size.
But this fat man was different. He was a college-educated heavyweight who was content with his size and enjoyed his job.
"Bruce was always pretty into it; he was very canny about the public and what it wanted," said Taylor.
Performing shirtless, he would jiggle his belly and answer questions, 99 percent of which were in regards to his actual weight, he claimed.
"I don't mind being enormously fat," Snowdon told me in a 2003 interview while eating his second ice cream sandwich. "I come from a long line of fat people. My old man tortured himself for 40 years going from 200 to 300 [pounds] and back again. He eventually lost the weight, but he also lost his mind."
Man this might be the saddest thing I've ever read. Our society has gotten so overweight that the idea of seeing a 700 pound man was no longer shocking. Now you can see that on The Biggest Loser every week and you don't have to get off your lazy ass and go to a carnival to watch that. Snowdon was supposed to serve as our society's cautionary tale or worst case scenario freak but in the end he died alone and unappreciated. Sorry Harold Huge, we all failed you.
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML
Today, I went to move my girlfriend's car. I failed to notice that the snow packed under the front bumper is actually ice. After a bit of struggle I managed to move the car. The bumper, however, is now a separate entity. FML
Last week I showed you Collegefootballnews.com's first 2010 preseason rankings. While it may still be abit early for some of you to talk college football, it really got my juices flowing for next season. So to continue that I have some more way too early CFN coverage. This time they're breaking down the 10 offensive players who are bound to have a big impact next season. Take copious notes.
Yeah, you guys in Atlanta know Anthony Allen, but the folks in Big 12 country wouldn’t know him from Ethan Allen. And although Darvin Adams and Greg Childs may be household names by now in the SEC, they barely ring a bell to the guys out in the Pac-10.
This time of year there are loads of all-star-caliber players within every conference who are busting at the chance to take their brand outside the region and showcase it to a national audience. Clearly, they have the talent and they’ll have the opportunities to put it all on display later in the fall. Whatever shreds of anonymity these guys enjoy today could be long gone by early October.
WR Darvin Adams, Auburn No Tiger benefited from the change in offensive philosophy in 2009 more than Adams. A year after catching three passes all season, he pulled down a school-record 60 passes for 997 yards and 10 touchdowns. Yet, he failed to even make the All-SEC team, an indication of how fast he snuck up on people last fall. Now that everyone has been in Gus Malzahn’s system for a year and there could be a quarterback upgrade if Cameron Newton delivers, the junior receiver will be impossible to ignore. A long target at 6-3 and 185 pounds, he runs great routes and flashes the big-play ability that the offense desires.
RB Anthony Allen, Georgia Tech Now that Jonathan Dwyer has left early for the NFL, someone is going to run for plenty of yards from the B-back position in this option offense. That someone will be Allen. As a rarely-used complement a year ago, he ran for 618 yards and six scores on only 64 carries. As the feature guy, he’ll have the opportunity to double those numbers...at least. A physical 6-0, 230-pounder, he also showed tremendous explosiveness in his Yellow Jacket debut, busting through holes like a freight train and averaging more than nine yards a carry.
RB Allen Bradford, USC The perennial logjam known as the Trojan backfield could be as uncongested as it’s been in years. Bradford is the back most likely to take advantage. He impressed after Stafon Johnson was injured last fall, running for a career-high 668 yards and eight scores on 115 carries. With Johnson and Joe McKnight out of the picture in 2010, he’s liable to turn his senior year into a successful audition for NFL scouts. A modern-day LenDale White at Troy, he’d just assume run over defenders with his 5-11, 235-pound frame than attempt to dance around them.
RB Bryce Brown, Tennessee Last year was one big saga for Brown, who turned his recruitment into a three-ring circus. This year, he gets an opportunity to show the nation that he was worth all of the attention. He laid a solid foundation by turning 101 carries into 460 yards and three scores, and catching 10 balls for 137 yards and another touchdown. The graduation of Montario Hardesty should keep Brown busy this fall, affording him enough touches to rush for 1,000 yards and earn all-conference consideration. He’s the total package in a runner, blending power with the breakaway speed and cutback ability to make defenders whiff.
QB Blaine Gabbert, Missouri To be sure, there were rough spots in Gabbert’s debut as the starter for Mizzou. That’s bound to happen when you’ve got limited experience and are replacing local legend Chase Daniel. He eventually settled down in the second half of his sophomore year to finish with respectable numbers, including 24 touchdown passes and 3,593 passing yards. Beyond just the statistics, he has the raw physical gifts to become a special passer in the Big 12 if he continues to improve his reads and decision-making. At 6-5 and 240 pounds, he can make all the throws, moves surprisingly well for his size, and plays in an offense that’ll showcase all of those skills.
Sorry, I couldn't resist. Screw Blaine Gabbert.
WR Greg Childs, Arkansas Don’t fault Childs if he enters this season with a little chip on his shoulder. Somehow, he was passed over for the All-SEC squad despite leading the team with 48 catches for 894 yards and seven touchdowns. Teammate Joe Adams, however, had 19 fewer catches and 326 less yards, yet earned a spot on the second team. Go figure. Childs is Ryan Mallett’s preferred target, which tells you all you need to know about his upside potential. After a slow start in the offseason, he picked things up in the summer, improving his speed and adding more muscle to his 6-3, 217-pound frame. If he can maintain the focus throughout the spring, individual honors won’t elude him this December.
QB Robert Griffin, Baylor Out of sight, out of mind. Griffin was supposed to have his national coming-out party in 2009, but a torn ACL last September completely changed the script. Instead, he’ll be looking to make a splash in a do-over sophomore season. The Bears will take it easy with their prized quarterback in the spring in the hopes that he’ll be completely ready for the Sept. 4 opener at TCU. When healthy, he has as much dual-threat potential as any quarterback in the country, rushing for 843 yards and 13 scores as a rookie in 2008, and throwing 19 touchdown passes to just three picks in his first 15 games.
WR Alshon Jeffery, South Carolina Just a year removed from high school, Jeffery validated his standing as one of the top wide receiver recruits of 2009. Even in an offense that was inconsistent through the air, his star shined through the mediocrity, a precursor of what’s to come in the next few seasons. After starting slowly, he erupted over the final two-thirds of the year to finish with a team-high 46 catches for 763 yards and six touchdowns. That was just teaser for a 6-3, 215-pounder, who can create mismatches with his physicality and will be reuniting with improving junior QB Stephen Garcia.
WR Mohamed Sanu, Rutgers When the versatile Sanu arrived last year, the Scarlet Knights weren’t exactly sure where they’d wind up playing him. By midseason, they realized they might as well line him up all over. A 6-2, 215-pound game-changer, he’s instant offense with the ball in his hands. He finished his debut season with 51 catches for 639 yards and three touchdowns, while getting an increasing amount of work taking snaps out of the Wildcat package. Sanu rushed for 346 yards and five touchdowns on 62 carries, giving Rutgers a weapon it’s never had in the past. Best of all, he can grow alongside franchise QB Tom Savage, who’s also in his second year with the program.
RB Shane Vereen, Cal Vereen is slated to become the next in a long line of 1,000-yard rushers mentored by ace running backs coach Ron Gould. When a serious concussion to Jahvid Best pressed him into a feature role last November, he responded with 100 yards on the ground in three of the last four games. He works like a flat bed and moves like a sports car, a rare combination that’s going to produce Best-like numbers this fall. After racking up more than 2,000 total yards and 19 touchdowns as the second banana, Vereen is ripe for the type of season that makes him a household name by the end of his junior year.
The bosses of saucy women's magazine Playgirl have come up with a new way for disgraced sportsman Michael Vick to redeem himself for slaying fighting dogs - strip.
The embattled American footballer, who was arrested for animal abuse and promoting dogfighting in 2007, has been invited to pose for Playgirl in return for a $1 million (£625,000) donation to animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.
A spokesman for Playgirl confirms to Life & Style magazine, "I sent the request to Michael Vick on Wednesday, but we haven’t heard back yet.
"I figured he paid back society for dog fighting, but what about the animals? This way he could donate a large sum to PETA and all he’d have to do is pose for the magazine! It's kind of a win-win situation!"
Vick is currently trying to rebuild his shattered image after spending 19 months in prison for his part in a dog-fighting ring.
I guess the only way Michael Vick is going to repair his image from the dogfighting incident is my letting Playgirl take a picture of his Virginia black snake. I'm doubting this deal gets done. The biggest part of any redemption storyline is setting a better example for the kids. So I don't see Vicks handlers or Roger Goodell thinking its a good idea to release the hound. Sorry ladies and gay men, you're not getting to see Vick's dick anytime soon.
Swiss may grant lawyers for animals By Eliane Engeler, THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
GENEVA - Lawyer Antoine F. Goetschel feels uncomfortable talking about one of his recent clients. And it isn't just because he lost the case.
"Fish don't get much sympathy," he explains. That's doubly true for the unnamed dead pike whose cause Goetschel took up earlier this month, much to the amusement of Swiss anglers who couldn't understand why one of their own was being hauled into court for landing a big catch.
Goetschel is Europe's only animal lawyer and the figurehead for a movement that wants to expand Zurich's pioneering legal system across Switzerland.
Voters will decide in a March 7 poll whether every canton (state) should be required to appoint an animal lawyer to represent the interests of pets and farm animals in court - in effect a dedicated public prosecutor for dogs, cats and other vertebrates that have been abused by humans.
"Swiss law has taken a big step forward in recent years" particularly for animals that live in groups, Goetschel tells The Associated Press.
The country's constitution now prohibits keeping pigs in single pens and budgies alone in a cage - solitary confinement, as Goetschel calls it.
Dog owners have to take a training course and from 2013 it will be forbidden to tie horses in their stalls.
People may want to paint animal lawyers in an unflattering light but it presents an interesting challenge when your client can't aid in his own defense and won't stop licking his own balls in open court. If O.J. had barked at a juror or sniffed the baliff's nads Johnnie Cochran would have never gotten him off. Plus its never nice to be paid in chewed up bones and dead birds.
In all seriousness, haven't cruelty against animals cases been going pretty smoothly without animal attorneys? This just seems like another ridiculous step in the world of pet worship But it least it gives a great opportunity to Meowsy McDermott, Snarky Cat Lawyer.
On this day in... 1570 – Pope Pius V excommunicates Queen Elizabeth I of England. 1793 – George Washington holds the first Cabinet meeting as President of the United States. 1870 – Hiram Rhodes Revels, a Republican from Mississippi, is sworn into the United States Senate, becoming the first African American ever to sit in the U.S. Congress. 1919 – Oregon places a 1 cent per U.S. gallon tax on gasoline, becoming the first U.S. state to levy a gasoline tax. 1932 – Adolf Hitler obtains German citizenship by naturalization, which allows him to run in the 1932 election for Reichspräsident. 1951 – The first Pan American Games are held in Buenos Aires, Argentina.
Births 1940 – Billy Packer, American sports broadcaster 1949 – Ric Flair, American professional wrestler 1958 – Jeff Fisher, American football coach 1958 – Kurt Rambis, American basketball player 1961 – Todd Blackledge, American football player 1965 – Carrot Top, American comedian 1966 – Téa Leoni, American actress 1966 – Nancy O'Dell, American reporter and television personality 1971 – Sean Astin, American actor 1975 – Chelsea Handler, American comedian and actress 1976 – Rashida Jones, American actress 1985 – Joakim Noah, American basketball player
Great list of birthdays today with a b-ball announcer, some ugly basketball players, Rudy, the girl from 'Parks and Recreation,' a red haired steroid freak and a legend of the ring. Ric Flair was recently hospitalized after his young wife beat him senseless. I'm hoping Nature Boy is feeling better on his birthday. But today I'm highlighting Chelsea Handler. Here she is making fun of Star Wars geeks.
22 inch man seeks world record By The Associated Press
KATMANDU, Nepal — A man who is only 22 inches (56 centimetres) tall left his home country of Nepal on Sunday in a quest to be recognized as the world’s shortest man.
Khagendra Thapa Magar is travelling to Europe to campaign for the Guinness World Record title. He applied to London-based group for a place in the record book in October, soon after turning 18, but said he has not received any response.
Magar’s family initially filed a claim when he was 14, but it was rejected because he was not an adult and there was a chance he might grow.
They say doctors in Nepal have not been able to explain why Magar is so small.
“We are going to Italy to try to record his name in the Guinness Book of World Records,” his father, Rup Bahadur Thapa Magar, told reporters in Kathmandu. They plan to appear on an Italian television show to talk about his bid for the title.
Once in Italy, Magar, his father and a supporter will decide on their next destination.
His supporters saw him off from the Nepalese capital on Sunday, offering flower bouquets and garlands.
The current record is held by He Pingping of China, who is 29 inches (73 centimetres) tall.
The people at Guinness sure do seem uncooperative don't they? First they take the title of world's tallest man away from 8-foot-5 Leonid Stadnyk and give it to a Chinaman seven inches shorter because Stadnyk refuses to be trotted around as part of their freak show. Now they're making this poor, tiny man leave his village and go to Italy so he can be certified as the world's shortest man. Good thing they got rid of the world's fattest man category because I know a 1,000 guy couldn't be making any international flights. I know Guinness has to have enough money just from St. Patrick's Day to make these trips themselves. Cheap limey bastards.
O.S. - I guess if it doesn't work out for Magar he can just become a stripper. I know Rihanna would tip him. She gave Bridget the Midget a ton of money for a lap dance. Creepy.
'Dead' woman moves arm at funeral home By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
BOGOTA, Colombia (AP) — A Colombian woman declared dead of a heart attack moved one of her arms just as an undertaker was about to embalm her, doctors said Wednesday.
Noelia Serna, 45, was rushed to a hospital in the city of Cali, where she was in critical condition in an intensive care unit Wednesday, said hospital director Luis Fernando Rendon.
“Her chances of survival are slim,” Rendon said.
Serna, who has multiple sclerosis, was admitted to the same Cali University Hospital on Monday after a heart attack, Rendon said. She survived for about 10 hours on life support, but then seemingly didn’t respond to resuscitation efforts following a second attack. She was declared dead early Tuesday.
About two hours later, funeral home employee Jaime Aullon was just about to inject embalming fluid into Serna’s left leg when he saw her move.
“She was moving her right arm,” he said. “I stopped the procedure and brought her back to the hospital to be treated.”
On rare occasions, a person’s heart rate and breathing can drop to undetectable levels, leading doctors to erroneously declare a patient dead, said neurosurgeon Juan Mendoza Vega, a member of the Colombian National Medical Ethics Board.
“It can happen,” he said. “But it’s not a matter of coming back to life because the person was never dead.”
Remind me never to almost die when I'm in Columbia "doing business." If you show a couple symptoms they'll just throw your ass in a body bag.
But this story did remind me of a friend of one of my dad's friends. He took a job as an undertaker's assistant in college. One night he was supposed to be off and got real drunk but was called into work to go pick up a dead woman in a neighboring country. He loaded her up in the back of the hearse and was driving back to the funeral home (still drunk) when riggamortis set in her legs and she popped up, eyes still open. He got a glimpse of her in the rear view, drove into the bar ditch and jumped out of the car screaming. He walked back to town and the undertaker had to go pick up the car. Dead people are a hoot.
Today, my dad and I were shovelling snow off the roof. I told him i was going to jump off the roof, he told me to go ahead, so I did. He failed to tell me that the snow was packed and wouldn't break my fall. I now have an injured back. He didn't tell me because he didn't think I would actually do it. FML
Today, I saw my crush standing at the bus stop. I did the "I'm talking to someone on the phone thing," trying to be cool. Halfway through the conversation my phone actually rang, I quickly answered but it was my mom on loudspeaker yelling, "Did you bring your tampons?" FML
Last week I showed you Collegefootballnews.com's first 2010 preseason rankings. While it may still be abit early for some of you to talk college football, it really got my juices flowing for next season. So to continue that I have some more way too early CFN coverage. This time they're breaking down conference schedules. Here is the Big 12 North.
Colorado Games Against The South: Baylor, Texas Tech, at Oklahoma Realistic Best Case Record: 8-4 Worst Case Record: 4-8 Likely Finish: 6-6
Summary: The Buffs have to beat rival Colorado State in the opener in Denver or it could be a rough, rough start to the season with a trip to California and a date with Georgia to deal with. If that wasn’t enough, the Big 12 opener is coming off the date with the Dawgs and is at Missouri. The games against the South come in a three-week midseason span hosting Baylor and Texas Tech and with a trip to Oklahoma. Forget about any hope of winning the North with road games at Missouri, Kansas and Nebraska, but the schedule has just enough winnable games to get to a bowl game. There’s no excuse to not beat Colorado State, Hawaii, Baylor, Iowa State, and Kansas State at home and come up with an upset to get to six wins.
Sept. 4 Colorado St (in Denver) Sept. 11 at California Sept. 18 Hawaii Sept. 25 OPEN DATE Oct. 2 Georgia Oct. 9 at Missouri Oct. 16 Baylor Oct. 23 Texas Tech Oct. 30 at Oklahoma Nov. 6 at Kansas Nov. 13 Iowa State Nov. 20 Kansas State Nov. 26 at Nebraska
Iowa State Games Against The South: Texas Tech, at Oklahoma, at Texas Realistic Best Case Record: 7-5 Worst Case Record: 2-10 Likely Finish: 5-7
Summary: It’s going to be a tough second year in the Paul Rhoads era with a mean gift from the scheduling gods getting Texas Tech, at Oklahoma, and at Texas from the South. Throw in the yearly rivalry game against Iowa, on the road this season, and a non-conference home date against Utah and the Cyclones might have five sure-thing losses without blinking. The Nebraska and Missouri games are at home and there’s only one road trip from October 30th on, but no one should have to play the Sooners and Longhorns in back-to-back road games. On the plus side, there’s only one true road game against the North (at Colorado) with the Kansas State game to be played in Kansas City.
Sept. 2 Northern Illinois Sept. 11 at Iowa Sept. 18 Kansas State (in KC) Sept. 25 Northern Iowa Oct. 2 Texas Tech Oct. 9 Utah Oct. 16 at Oklahoma Oct. 23 at Texas Oct. 30 Kansas Nov. 6 Nebraska Nov. 13 at Colorado Nov. 20 Missouri Nov. 27 OPEN DATE
Kansas Games Against The South: at Baylor, Texas A&M, Oklahoma State Realistic Best Case Record: 9-3 Worst Case Record: 5-7 Likely Finish: 7-5
Summary: There’s no real excuse for Turner Gill in his first season to not get KU into a bowl game with a schedule like this. The Jayhawks don’t have to play Texas, Oklahoma, or Texas Tech from the South, and get Texas A&M and Oklahoma State at home … Merry Christmas. A good team finds a way to get through the first nine games with eight wins, at least, but there are sneaky-tough games at Southern Miss and at Baylor and Iowa State while the home dates against Georgia Tech, Kansas State, and Texas A&M aren’t going to be layups. KU has to have six wins and a bowl sewn up after the November 6th home game against Colorado with at Nebraska, Oklahoma State, and Missouri to finish things up.
Sept. 4 North Dakota St Sept. 11 Georgia Tech Sept. 18 at Southern Miss Sept. 25 New Mexico St Oct. 2 at Baylor Oct. 9 OPEN DATE Oct. 16 Kansas State Oct. 23 Texas A&M Oct. 30 at Iowa St Nov. 6 Colorado Nov. 13 at Nebraska Nov. 20 Oklahoma St Nov. 27 Missouri (in KC)
Kansas State Games Against The South: at Baylor, Oklahoma State, Texas Realistic Best Case Record: 8-4 Worst Case Record: 4-8 Likely Finish: 6-6
Summary: The Wildcats will know where they stand right away at home against a good, but not great UCLA team. A win over the Bruins might lead the way to a hot start with Missouri State, Iowa State (played in Kansas City) and UCF before getting a week off. And then the fun comes with Nebraska at home in a make-or-break game for their North chances, and beyond just beating a great team that might be a must win with five of the final seven games on the road. The home games during that rough stretch will hardly be a walk in the park hosting Oklahoma State and Texas. Unlike last year when playing two FCS teams killed bowl hopes, KSU only has one FCS date (Missouri State) and has a layup to close out the regular season at North Texas. In other words, the team has to find four wins (assuming the Missouri State and UNT games are wins) to get to a bowl.
Sept. 4 UCLA Sept. 11 Missouri State Sept. 18 Iowa State (in KC) Sept. 25 UCF Oct. 2 OPEN DATE Oct. 7 Nebraska Oct. 16 at Kansas Oct. 23 at Baylor Oct. 30 Oklahoma St Nov. 6 Texas Nov. 13 at Missouri Nov. 20 at Colorado Nov. 27 at North Texas
Missouri Games Against The South: at Texas A&M, Oklahoma, at Texas Tech Realistic Best Case Record: 10-2 Worst Case Record: 6-6 Likely Finish: 8-4
Summary: This isn’t exactly going to be a flaky Missouri team, but it’s still going to be reloading a bit. Fortunately, it’ll get time to fatten up the record with a cakewalk of a first half of the season. Illinois might be better, but Mizzou will be favored in the opener and won’t be an underdog, or anything lower than a seven-point favorite, until mid-October. Going 5-0 with this slate is a must for a team with any realistic hopes of winning the North, and then the fun kicks in dealing with a trip to Texas A&M and Oklahoma from the South before the showdown for the North against Nebraska in Lincoln. Throw in a trip to Texas Tech and the Tigers going on the road for three games in four (with the OU date the home game) and are away from Columbia for five of the final six games. However, the last three games against Kansas State, at Iowa State, and against Kansas (to be played in Kansas City) are very winnable.
Sept. 4 Illinois (in St. Louis) Sept. 11 McNeese State Sept. 18 San Diego St Sept. 25 Miami Univ. Oct. 2 OPEN DATE Oct. 9 Colorado Oct. 16 at Texas A&M Oct. 23 Oklahoma Oct. 30 at Nebraska Nov. 6 at Texas Tech Nov. 13 Kansas State Nov. 20 at Iowa State Nov. 27 Kansas (in KC)
Nebraska Games Against The South: Texas, at Oklahoma State, at Texas A&M Realistic Best Case Record: 11-1 Worst Case Record: 6-6 Likely Finish: 9-3
Summary: There’s a reason Husker fans are all fired up. The defense should be fine, the offense can’t be worse, and the schedule is national-title good. That might be putting the program’s head over its skis, this isn’t going to be one of the three best teams in the country, but to get to the BCS Championship a great team needs a mix of winnable layups with one or two signature games. Winning at Washington won’t be anything to get to jacked up over, but it would still make a national splash, and the rest of the non-conference slate is a joke. While road games at Oklahoma State and Texas A&M will be tough, any team thinking big has to win those games. Getting Missouri and Kansas at home should all but sew up the North title, and then comes the big one: Texas. It might be a Big 12 Championship preview, and if the Huskers can win the showdown in mid-October, the hype and high expectations will follow.
Sept. 4 Western Kentucky Sept. 11 Idaho Sept. 18 at Washington Sept. 25 South Dakota St Oct. 2 OPEN DATE Oct. 7 at Kansas State Oct. 16 Texas Oct. 23 at Oklahoma St Oct. 30 Missouri Nov. 6 at Iowa State Nov. 13 Kansas Nov. 20 at Texas A&M Nov. 26 Colorado
Doctors leave foot-long instrument in patient By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
PRAGUE (AP) — It took five long months for a Czech woman to discover the reason for her pain: Doctors had left a foot-long medical tool inside her abdomen.
This month, doctors at a clinic in the southeastern town of Ivancice discovered their colleagues had forgotten to remove a spatula-like surgical instrument from the woman following gynecological surgery in September.
Top regional official Michal Hasek apologized Zdenka Kopeckova, 66, and said Monday that the region, which is in charge of the clinic, plans to compensate her.
Clinic head Jaromir Hrubes blamed “a series of individual failures” and said four employees had been punished.
CT24 news television reported that the woman, who complained repeatedly to her doctors about the pain, plans to sue.
Good thing I'm not a Czech woman. I'd hate to spend five months with a spatula in my stomach. Everytime I drank a beer that thing would probably wobble back and forth. It sounds like the clinic in question has a lot of issues and "individual failures." That's pretty much uncalled for unless of course, they did it as a goof.
McD's drive-thru violence hits St. John's By QMI AGENCY
Police are calling it a case of drive-thru rage.
Officers were called to the parking lot of a McDonalds in St. John's Thursday night after two drivers got into an argument.
Police say one driver had paid for an order at the first window, but didn't move forward to the second window to pick up his food as fast as a driver behind him would have liked.
The second driver honked his horn and the man in the first car got out of his vehicle and started yelling, police said. Then, he allegedly pounded on the hood of the second car, damaging it. The driver of the second car phoned police.
A 34-year-old man was arrested and charged with mischief.
People certainly are hostile these days. I know we all just lost our money in the stock market and the bank CEOs are blasting our asses with these bonuses but we've got to stop taking it out on each other. Its gotten so bad that you can't even honk at a guy for taking too long in the drive thru anymore. You can't really honk at someone for anything. Unless of course you want them to beat you to death with a tire iron. Larry David learned that lesson the hard way. Fast forward to the 50 second mark.
LONDON (Feb. 15) -- Since 1945, psychologists have pored over the paintings Adolf Hitler created as a struggling artist in the years before World War I, looking for insight into the murderous Nazi leader's young mind. Now a British auction firm is selling an early Hitler watercolor, which it says may have hung in Sigmund Freud's Vienna office.
But some Freud experts dispute the suggestion that the Jewish father of modern psychology had a firsthand opportunity to study the soul of the warmongering despot.
The painting, due to be sold by Mullock's Specialist Auctioneers in central England next month, depicts a church and mountains, and is signed in one corner "A. Hitler - 1910." The back of the 8-by-4-inch watercolor is inscribed with a line of Italian reading, "Studio Medico Sigmund Freud Vienne," the name of the psychologist's medical practice in Vienna. (Several of Freud's patients and employees are known to have spoken Italian.)
So is it possible that as Hitler was mooching around the Austrian city between 1907 and 1913, selling his third-rate daubs to tourists and locals, Freud or someone he knew might have bought one from the Führer-to-be?
"This painting is exactly the sort of cheap piece of art you'd see hanging on the walls of dental surgeries and hospital waiting rooms across Europe at the time," says Mullock's auctioneer Richard Westwood-Brookes. "It's not too far beyond the realms of possibility that this little struggling artist, who was selling his paintings on the street, would have sold this work to one of Freud's assistants or perhaps to Freud himself."
The auction house acquired the work from a respected Italian collector, who in turn claims he bought it from an American soldier who grabbed the painting from Freud's abandoned practice at Berggasse 19 after the Allies captured Vienna in 1945.
However, Freud experts have doubts about the watercolor's alleged provenance. Peter Nömaier, spokesman for the Freud Museum in Vienna, which now occupies Berggasse 19, notes that the psychologist took almost all of his possessions with him when he fled the city for London in 1938. He says any works of art left behind -- especially those signed by Adolf Hitler -- would almost certainly have been seized by the Austrian authorities when Freud left the building. Because the psychologist catalogued his extensive collection of ancient Roman, Greek and Egyptian antiquities, Freud would have recorded this painting in his diaries or letters, Nömaier believes.
Ivan Ward, education director at London's Freud Museum, says that while it's possible Freud sold the painting before going into exile, he believes it's more probable that the work -- if it was snatched from Berggasse 19 -- was owned by another of the property's residents. Following the psychologist's departure, the apartment block was used to house Jews on their way to death camps, and then in 1942 it was handed over to several Austrian families, including those of high-ranking Nazis.
"So it's possible that the painting could have come from Freud's apartment," says Ward, "but it might have been owned by one of the later tenants."
Just imagine if Hitler did really hit up Freud to buy one of his awful paintings. I'm sure Freud had the habit of psychoanalyzing anyone he came across. I bet he could have had a ball with a pre-Fuhrer Hitler. It would have been really funny if Freud traded his psychiatry services for one of the paintings. I'm sure he would have concluded that Hitler had an Edipus complex and had some serious daddy issues. Hitler's sexual predalictions probably could have kept Freud busy for months.
On this day in... 1803 – The Supreme Court of the United States, in Marbury v. Madison, establishes the principle of judicial review. 1863 – Arizona is organized as a United States territory. 1868 – The first parade to have floats is staged at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Louisiana. 1868 – Andrew Johnson becomes the first President of the United States to be impeached by the United States House of Representatives. He is later acquitted in the Senate. 1893 – The American University is chartered by an act of the Congress of the United States of America. 1917 – World War I: The U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom is given the Zimmermann Telegram, in which Germany pledges to ensure the return of New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona to Mexico if Mexico declares war on the United States. 1920 – The Nazi Party is founded. 1970 – National Public Radio is founded in the United States. 1981 – Buckingham Palace announces the engagement of The Prince of Wales and Lady Diana Spencer. 1989 – Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini offers a USD $3 million bounty for the death of The Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie. 2008 – Fidel Castro retires as the President of Cuba after nearly fifty years.
Births 1885 – Chester Nimitz, U.S. admiral (d. 1966) 1938 – Phil Knight, American sportswear manufacturer 1942 – Joe Lieberman, American politician 1955 – Steve Jobs, American computer pioneer 1956 – Paula Zahn, American journalist 1958 – Sammy Kershaw, American musician 1966 – Billy Zane, American actor 1968 – Mitch Hedberg, American comedian (d. 2005) 1970 – Jeff Garcia, American football player 1977 – Floyd Mayweather Jr, American boxer
A pretty good list on the Birthday Express today with the fathers of Nike and Apple, the most conservative democrat in Congress, a coedian for potheads, a red haired quarterback and a cocky boxer. But I'm highlighting my favorite country singer Samm Kershaw.
Terrell Owens signed with the Wilhelmina Models modeling agency in December, and Wednesday he made his debut sauntering down the catwalk like ... well, like he'd been doing that his whole life.
Thankfully, there's no video although the stills are enough to make you queasy.
And don't misunderstand, it's not that I don't love a good fashion show (I'll admit it: I watch Project Runway religiously -- by the way, how did Anthony win the last challenge?), it's just that it loses a little something when the model is outfitted in a Tina Turner wig and Matt Dillon's get-up from The Outsiders (sans shirt).
But maybe that's just me. Upshot: at least he's not acting.
Does this guy still play for my Bills? I was hoping he'd be out of town for sure by now. I guess instead of trying out for the Sacramento Kings or starting a reality show, this offseason he's just going to destroy the fashoin world. I bet the first time he trips on the catwalk he'll blame the designer. What a goon.
Serena Williams' Shocking New Career: Nail Tech radaronline.com
Serena Williams has always given one hundred percent to her endeavors and her upcoming nail collection is not an exception.
The tennis champ has recently enrolled in a 240-hour program to be certified as a nail tech in Florida.
“No one likes getting their nails done more than I do. As a matter of fact I go every four days to get a manicure and every seven days for a pedicure. So, I had a brilliant idea to get certified to be a nail tech,” she wrote on her Global Grind blog.
"Besides the fact that I am coming out with a nail collection from a company called HairTech, I thought 'Serena, this is a no-brainer'.”
Shortly after returning home from the Australian Open, Williams began researching schools that would let her finish the course at her own pace. As always, the athlete made sure she was prepared to face the challenges ahead.
"The night before my class I made sure I had all my tools, books and gear organised. I went to the Hello Kitty store and bought plenty of containers as well as a backpack to keep my belongings. If I'm not the best, I sure do want to look like it."
I'm not quite sure if I buy Serena's logic about this one. I really like wearing t-shirts but I'm not going to start spinning cotton and designing shirts. I'll just let someone else worry about making them and I'll worry about wearing them. I also enjoy drinking beer but I don't think I need to start brewing it. I'll just keep drinking it. Why do something when you can pay someone to do it for you? Serena needs to focus on the thing that actually makes her money - tennis.
